


with heart and soul

by gottalovev



Category: Iron Man (Comic), Iron Man Noir, Marvel Noir
Genre: Comic Book Violence, Crossdressing, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Mutual Pining, Period-Typical Homophobia, Polyamory, Protective James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Protective Pepper Potts, Slight Internalized Homophobia, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, World War II, minor character death (canon), slight blood and injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 11:29:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 51,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12747420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gottalovev/pseuds/gottalovev
Summary: At long last, and using Bucky's talent as a sharpshooter as leverage, Steve has convinced Tony that he can do more than illustrate his adventures in Marvel Magazine. It's for a critical mission too: take from Hydra a formula that is said to be able to create Super Soldiers. He never expected his first mission to also be a roller coaster for his love life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Made for Marvel Bang, where I was partnered in tandem with the fabulous @maniibear
> 
> Her fantastic art is embedded in the fic (head's up, one is NSFW so be on the lookout in public places!), but please go visit/praise/like/reblog the [Master Art Tumblr Post](http://maniibear.tumblr.com/post/167575581762/art-for-with-heart-and-soul-by-gottalovev-who-is) too!
> 
> Incidentally, this adventures started with Stony Trumps Hate... more details at the end!
> 
> A big thank you to the mods for those two events :)

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."  
― Lao Tzu

 

"I want to go."

Actually, it's way more than that. Steve viscerally _needs to do this_ , and he has to get Tony to clearly understand how serious he is.

"Steve." 

Tony lets the name drag a little, every line in his body screaming exhaustion and how he doesn't have the energy to fight about this right now. Again. But it's too bad, because it might be Steve's chance to do his part for the war effort, and he won't let it slip through his fingers. 

"This could change _everything_ ," Steve insists, shaking the files he got caught reading. 

It's true, he shouldn't have seen them. They are Top Secret, the Army will throw a fit if they find out, and Tony might even get in trouble. But what choice did Steve have? 

He'd been working late, finishing inking a page for Marvel Magazine - he didn't want to miss his deadline - when Tony had walked in the office, back from a month-long trip to Europe. Okay, so it's possible that Steve was working late in the hope of something like that happening, he knew Tony was due back any day and he'd missed him _so much_. Forgetting himself, he'd bounded to Tony and practically launched himself at the poor guy, in a hurry to greet him with a hug. 

Even though Tony had laughed and caught him - always so easily, Steve being so small that Tony barely moved on impact - there had also been a clear grunt of pain. 

Steve had not been able to downplay his concern. "What? Are you hurt? Where are you hurt? How did it happen!" 

"It's okay, I'm fine," Tony had replied softly, catching Steve's wrists to stop his anxious pat-down. 

Mortified at the liberty he'd taken of touching him like that, Steve had blushed bright red but still insisted.

"What happened?"

"It's stupid. Did you know German officer's boots have metal heel plates? A lucky kick in the ribs... one is cracked a little, that's it," Tony had said as if it was nothing. Jesus.

Steve remembers squinting, immediately suspicious. "I thought you were only supposed work on the planes. How did you get into a fight with a German officer?"

"I had to test one of these planes, right?" He had grinned, proud of himself and Steve had wanted to scream. He remembers thinking that he'd predicted it, was certain that Tony would manage to get into a dangerous situation when he had accepted that supposedly routine contract for General Fury on the Allied planes.

"You were gunned down." It wasn't even a question. Steve was certain that's what had happened, because of course Tony wouldn't test a plane over England, like a sensible person, of course not. He'd went on a raid.

At least Tony had the decency to look sheepish. "Possibly a little. And it's possible I got captured for a bit and got a beating. But only one day! Rhodey and Fury's men got me real fast, and I went back to the planes."

Steve had thrown his hand in the air, frustrated beyond belief. "Just that little thing. God, Tony!"

"I knew you'd be angry," Tony had said with a sigh. "That's why I didn't write about it. I knew you'd have worried too much. I'm _fine_. I promise. And I managed to destroy a German ammunition depot, it was beautiful," he had added with a grin.

"Of course you did." 

"I'm as careful as I can be, Steve. I don't have a death wish."

Sometimes, Steve wondered about that. Tony took so many risks, was so selfless as soon as he saw an opportunity to do something good. And then he got hurt, and Steve worried. He wonders if that's what Bucky endured in the past fifteen years.

"You should lie down," Steve had said. Tony had just gotten out of another plane, after all, and he'd looked exhausted.

"Yeah, I only came over for this," Tony said, picking up the attaché-case he'd dropped when Steve had jumped on him, and going towards his office and the safe where he kept his important documents. Steve had seen files stamped with US ARMY and itched to know what they said. 

"Another mission?" 

"Yeah. And that one wouldn't even be officially sanctioned," Tony had said, locking the safe. He had eyed the cot in his office and Steve, emboldened, had grabbed his elbow and dragged him towards it. Sometimes - rarely! - Tony listened, and he had laid down.

"Meaning Fury wants you to do his dirty work," Steve had guessed. "Without support." 

He had proceeded to stretch a blanket on top of Tony. He'd be more comfortable if he got out of his pants, but Steve didn't dare suggest it in fear he'd go bright red. 

"I'm still thinking about it. But it's big." With a big yawn, Tony had put his head down and almost immediately dropped to sleep. After a minute or two of staring - Steve rarely had such an occasion to admire Tony openly, he was so beautiful - he had left him to sleep, closing the lights in the office, and gone back to his work.

Or he had tried, anyway. The mystery of those Army files had been like waving a red flag in front of him, of course, and after a very unproductive hour, he'd gone back in the room. Tony trusted him with the safe's combination, which was obviously a stupid decision because he couldn't resist snooping. But he had to if he wanted to discover the kind of trouble Tony was courting. Again. He took too many chances and didn't get enough support by General Fury. If, as he had said, this mission was without official sanction on top, it had to be extra dangerous.

It was even worse than that. The file was on a scientist and his experiments for the German's science division of the Schutzstaffel, a dangerous sub-group named Hydra led by Johann Schmidt. A Doctor Erskine had put together a serum that, mixed with some unknown technology, could transform a man into something more. Into what seemed to be a monster if the blurry picture from an informant was real: you could guess a big silhouette with a denuded cranium. The man who had taken the serum was rumored to have enhanced strength and smarts, but also that he got crazy with power and delusion in the process. Mad scientist stuff, probably toeing the line between crazy and genius.

The spy who had put the file together reported that Doctor Erskine wanted to defect to the United States, and a handwritten note addressed to Tony said that the mission was to retrieve at least a vial of serum, details on the formula and process, and the doctor if possible too. The serum was seen as a strategic advantage that could not remain with the Germans, in fear that they'd make an army of Super Soldiers. It was unsaid, but Steve could read between the lines: the Americans wanted to do that themselves. 

As for the risk of the mission itself, Doctor Erskine was said to be, of course, under constant heavy surveillance. His last known location was near the Fuhrer himself, in the thick of things. There were reports with information gathered by three elite teams sent by Fury in the last two months, none of them successful. Lots of good men lost. And now General Fury was trying to relay this task to Tony, with a note that he was encouraged to think outside the box. Which could get him killed. It was insane, but Steve also kept coming back to how dangerous it was to let that formula in the hands of Hydra, and he did agree that they had to be stopped. But he couldn't let Tony go there alone, even if it was with Rhodes, Pepper and Jarvis.

"What are you doing?"

Steve had jumped in surprise and turned to Tony, sitting up on his cot and looking at him with furrowed brows. Steve had been so intent on reading and rereading every detail of the files, he hadn't noticed that Tony had woken up and caught him with a hand in the cookie jar. 

"You can't go-"

"Steve-"

"I meant you can't go alone."

"I wouldn't be-" Tony had started to reply.

"I want to go."

Which had let to their argument, and Steve shaking the files towards Tony. 

"They have to be stopped," he tells Tony. "And I want to go."

Tony is starting to get annoyed. "You read those files, Steve, you know it's not a place for-"

A shrimp like him? Yeah, Steve knows what people think of him, and what they figure he can or cannot do - the 4F he got repeatedly at the recruiting offices were pretty clear. But it hurt that Tony, who knows him well enough to be assured Steve has heart and determination, thinks like that, too. 

"I can hold my own," Steve insists. "If you just gave me a chance..."

"This isn't a pirogue trip on the Amazon to find a mysterious crystal skull," Tony says. "It's going behind enemy lines, where it's the most dangerous. It's not somewhere you go without training. Heck, my regular team, that's been with me for years, is barely trained enough for this."

"It's not like you ever took me on those pirogues trips on the Amazon either," Steve says, mulish. 

And he'd asked, so many times. This "I want to go" and "It's too dangerous for you" argument is a dance they can do by heart, but this time Steve swears he won't be put aside.

"You don't have field experience!" Tony says.

"Neither had Pepper when she started working for you." Suddenly Steve has an idea. It might be the best or the worse he ever had, he isn't sure. "But I know someone who does."

"What?" Tony is visibly still tired, distracted even.

"Someone with experience, he could come with us. One of the best snipers for the Armed Forces last year."

God, Bucky will probably want to kill him. But frankly, Steve can't deal with him brooding all the time anymore, and doesn't like how often Bucky goes out to get drunk and whatever else. A mission where he is needed and could make a difference could shake him out of his funk.

"A sniper?" Tony asks, head tilting. "Why would the Army let me take one of their best?"

Steve hopes Bucky won't mind him telling, though frankly he's not been hiding it either, mostly out of anger. "He's not anymore. Got a blue discharge four months ago."

Tony's eyebrow raise in surprise. The press might have wanted to spin it semi-positively with "discharges which are not dishonorable but are based on habits or traits of the individual that make his continuation in service undesirable", but everyone knows once you got served a blue ticket, you are stamped as problematic and most probably a fairy. Steve believes Tony isn't the type of man to condemn someone for whom he loves - he really, really hopes not, personal investment in the man aside - but it's a relief when he doesn't even comment on the discharge.

"And he's good?"

"The best," Steve says with confidence. 

"You know him well?" Tony asks. He's intrigued, that's for sure, and Steve feels hope rising. 

Steve nods. "He's my best friend."

"Bucky?" Tony asks. The man has a mind like a steel trap, but Steve doesn't remember talking about Bucky much.

"Yes?"

Tony laughs. "Don't look so shocked, I listen to you. Even your drunk ramblings. Especially those."

The teasing makes Steve flush. So yes, it's possible that it takes him only two beers to get tipsy and it might have happened a couple of times when going out with Tony and his team. He hadn't realized he'd started spouting anecdotes about Bucky though. Then again, it's not surprising because his best stories all involve Bucky.

"Anyway. Bucky's great, and he's having a hard time finding a job." 

It really sucks that employers ask to see the discharge papers when hiring, and each time they see the blue ticket they balk. Some are nastier than others in the rejections, but Bucky doesn't tell him anymore, not since Steve marched to a factory to tell the foreman what he thought about turning down good workers and got beaten for his trouble

"Okay, good. I could use a sniper. Tell him to come and see me and we'll sort it out."

Steve wants to pump his fist in the air, thrilled for his friend and at the idea that he will finally leave the office to do something worthwhile. 

"Great. When are we leaving?" Steve asks, all but bounding in place, grin stretching his face.

"We will probably leave next week," Tony says as Steve nods. He ruins everything by adding, "you are not coming."

"What?" Immediately he bristles and crosses his arms over his chest. "Oh hell no. No Bucky if I don't go."

Tony sighs. "Steve..."

"Tony, goddamnit, I want to do this. I can do this, I promise. I can't stay here and do nothing while we're at war and I can help!" He's drawing fucking illustrations, for God's sake. He loves his job with all of his heart, but it's killing him inside.

"It's not safe-" Tony tries to argue for the millionth time.

Steve hits the big oak desk hard. "I know! I don't care! Please, Tony, I _need_ to go."

It's something he's never done because he was too prideful, but yes, Steve will beg, if it's what is needed. Maybe it's the desperation but for the first time since they've been having this kind of arguments, he senses Tony's usually steely resolve waver. Steve decides to go all in and he steps up to Tony, grabs his arm and does his very best puppy dog eyes, looking up a Tony with a pout.

"Tony. You know it's what I want with all of my heart. Please."

"Jesus," Tony says, eyes wide. "You play dirty. I am not promising anything, but if your friend is even half as good as you say, I'll consider it."

It takes all of Steve's self control not to break into the biggest grin ever, because he's got him. He's not lying when he says Bucky is an expert marksman, and he's convinced he'll perform on whatever test Tony can come with. Instead of letting his excitement show, Steve nods seriously. "A test? Sure. When?"

"I'll talk to Jarvis-"

Steve realizes that it's a terrible idea, because if Tony talks with Jarvis, or anyone in the team, they will argue against Steve joining them. Not because they don't like each other, on the contrary the whole team is very protective of him and it drives Steve nuts.

"No. Right now." Steve hasn't let go of Tony's arm and tries to tow him towards the door.

"Steve-"

"I can find Buck, let's go."

Tony plants his feet on the ground and refuses to be moved. "The files are on the desk, Steve. I am aware that you don't care they are Top Secret, but I do."

Shit. Flushing bright red, Steve lets go of Tony and gathers the files.

"Sorry." 

As he's putting the files back in the safe, Tony speaks up. 

"You realize it's almost midnight, right? This can't wait until tomorrow?"

Normally Steve would feel bad because Tony barely had time for a nap and still looks tired, but he's got to strike while the iron is hot.

"No, it can't. And I know where he is." 

He has a good idea, anyway.

***

Even though Steve is going to the club to find Bucky and nothing else, his heart is pounding and his hands are clammy with nerves. He couldn't even give the exact address, too worried about how the cab driver would react, and Steve keeps throwing Tony little side-looks as they approach. This is Greenwich Village, and Steve clearly stated that Bucky got a blue discharge, there's no way Tony isn't connecting the two. They get out on the corner Steve asked for and he gathers his courage and starts walking at a brisk pace, Tony following easily with his long strides. There are fewer and fewer places where men can meet other men these days, not like when Steve was young and the prohibition somehow made it easier, but what happens in the basement of the theater he's leading them to is an open secret. Tony doesn't comment and even holds the door for Steve once there, gesturing for him to go in first. With a deep breath, Steve steels his resolve and enters.

The music is lively but not too loud, with nothing going on the stage for now. They must be between performances and that makes Steve relax a little. Some of the numbers he's seen, the few times he came, had him blush crimson, and he's glad to be spared this embarrassment. The customers are mostly men, as to be expected, but there are quite a number of women too. Also men dressed as women, it's not always easy to tell, but the thought sends a frisson down Steve's back. He focuses on the bars, looking for Bucky, and fervently hopes his friend is here right now and didn't already left with a conquest. He thinks he has spotted him and turns to tell Tony only for a dame in a chic evening dress to step right between them.

"Are my eyes deceiving me?" she asks, before putting a hand with long manicured nails in the middle of Tony's chest and stopping him short.

Tony looks down at the woman and after a pause he breaks up in a dazzling grin.

"Stella!"

"I'm surprised you remember my name, you scoundrel," she says with an exasperated pout. 

"You wound me, beautiful," Tony says, bringing up Stella's other hand to kiss her knuckles and Steve is almost blindsided by the sharp jab of jealousy at the gesture. "I would bet that no one who's ever seen you perform ever forgot your name." 

Steve's jaw almost unhinges at that because now that he's not busy glaring at the hand that is still touching Tony's chest, even grabbing his coat jacket, it's clear that Stella is part of the revue. There's the evening gown, yes, slightly provocative, but now that Steve pays attention he notices the little hints that betray that Stella is a man. At the moment, though, she's one of the most spectacular woman Steve has ever seen up close with an hourglass figure that must come partly by a corset, legs that go on for days, long blond hair that must be a wig, and blue eyes expertly lined with kohl.

"You flatterer," Stella purrs at Tony, who without a smidge of hesitation puts an arm around her waist and brings her close for an embrace. 

Well that answers Steve's earlier question: Tony will probably not judge Bucky too harshly for his discharge if he's friends with drag queens. It also makes Steve's heart rev up, because does it mean Tony is interested in men? It's possible, although it might only be for men who dress up as gorgeous women. For a second, very briefly, Steve wonders if he'd have to guts to try before he shakes the idea off, cheeks flaming. God.

"It's been months and months, Anthony," Stella says, patting Tony's chest a little. "We thought you'd found yourself a wife."

That makes Tony laughs. "Me? Married? Of course not. I've been abroad a lot, hadn't realized you gals would miss little old me. Aren't you usually at the Apollo, anyway? If you regularly dazzle people here instead of in Harlem, I would have missed you even if I had time to go out." 

"A girl has got to go where work is, Darling," Stella says with a sigh. "I say you owe me a drink. Let's get a table and we can catch up properly," she adds, smiling wider and sliding her hand up Tony's chest to hook it around his neck. 

It doesn't help Steve's blood pressure - he wants to smack her hand away so bad - and he doesn't know how to intrude in the conversation without being terribly rude. Fortunately, Tony hasn't forgotten they are here for a reason and he shakes his head no.

"Sorry, beautiful, I can't tonight. I'm actually only passing through with my friend."

Stella turns to Steve, and has to looks down at him since she's as tall as Tony, and even more with her high heels. Her perfectly shaped eyebrow raise in surprise as she takes him in and Steve cannot help it, he blushes at the attention. He really, really hates his Irish complexion and general inability to interact with beautiful people. 

"Ma'am," he stammers, and while he expects Stella to rapidly dismiss him as uninteresting, she surprises him by smiling, curious and friendly. Of course, he blushes even more.

"Oh, hello there lovely!" she says.

"Steve," he blurts out, shoving his hand out. She delicately shakes his hand, and her smile widens.

"I'm delighted to meet you, Steve. I'm Stella."

God. Steve has no idea how to navigate this situation. He panics a little and what comes out is, "same." 

Of course that's inane, he should have said 'nice to meet you too', now it looks like he said he's named Stella too and made a fool of himself once again. Case in point Stella is now grinning.

"Oh my God, Anthony, he's delightful. I could eat him up."

It's mortifying. The worst would be if Tony laughed too, but there's some sort of higher power looking over Steve because instead Tony glides in between him and Stella. "Ah, no. We unfortunately have to go."

Tony's smile is a little strained, probably annoyed that Stella's gentle teasing looks as if she's flirting with Steve when he's right there. It's not important, anyway, Steve is perfectly happy to have the chance to escape.

"We do! Good night Stella!" he says, turning around and breathes out in relief when he senses Tony following.

"Fine, good night. Don't be a stranger, Anthony!"

"I'll try!" Tony says as parting words. 

Steve has finally spotted Bucky, at the bar as he expected. There's a tall man leaning on his shoulder, talking in his ear and something sweeps in Steve's stomach at the way Bucky laughs. He might have been in denial about how much he was attracted to men for years, but there's no escaping it now, is it? Bucky's an old burn, a crush he has had for years but never acted upon because they were best friends even before feelings got involved (and Bucky never was interested, anyway). Tony, though, that had been like being hit with a pole behind the head as soon as they had met, and Steve has been hopelessly pining since. Sad, but it looks like it's the story of his life.

It isn't the time for a pity party about his non-existent love life, though. He needs for Bucky to be his ticket for this new mission of Tony's. So it's without a single hesitation - and a smidge of satisfaction - that he intrudes on the obvious attempt of the smarmy tall guy to pick up his best friend.

"Hey Buck!" he says cheerfully as he reaches his other side and Bucky turns to blink at him in surprise.

"Steve? What are you doing here?"

"So you're the infamous Bucky," Tony says.

With a slight swell of panic, Steve sees how Bucky completely dismisses the man he'd been talking to and does a blatant, and appreciative, up and down once-over of Tony only to sprawl back on his stool a little and give him his most flirty smile. What is worse is how Tony immediately grins in return, visibly unphased at the leering and possibly even interested back judging as he pretty much gives Bucky the same treatment. Oh no. No no no no no. 

"Sure am," Bucky drawls. "Who's your friend, Stevie?" he asks, not breaking eye contact with Tony one second. 

"My Boss," Steve hisses, elbowing him sharply in the side. "Tony Stark."

At last Bucky loses the slouch, eyes going round a little as he throws Steve an apologetic look.

"Oh. Uh. Hi."

"Tony," Steve continues, a little mollified, "this is my friend James Barnes."

They shake hands, and Tony doesn't waste time going straight to the reason they came. 

"Pleased to meet you James." He pauses when he's offered a drink, courtesy of the club. It makes sense to butter up a potential rich client, but Tony rapidly dismisses the waiter with a smile and a tip. "So Steve here says you're pretty good with a gun."

The smirk doesn't even have time to form on Bucky's lips that Steve pinches him, because he does not need to hear the stupid joke that would certainly come out of Bucky's mouth.

"Ow!" he says, glaring at Steve before looking back at Tony. "I know my way around, yes. Why?"

"If you're as good as he makes you to be, I might have a job offer for you."

That sure gets Bucky's attention: money's been tight since he came back. "I'm good. What's the job?"

"If you don't mind, I'd like to be the judge of that first? We'll discuss the job afterwards."

"Fair enough," Bucky says with a shrug. "Tell Stevie when and where, and I'll be there."

Steve is still convinced that if Tony has too much time to think, he'll refuse to bring him along. So he pushes, hoping it's enough to convince.

"It's not that hard a test," Steve says. "Let's do it right now."

Bucky and Tony make similar exasperated face.

"Do you happen to have a rifle with you, Steve?" Tony snarks.

He straightens up as tall as he can get and shoots back. "No, but I am sure you do, at your place. You promised, Tony."

It seems that Tony is an indulgent mood tonight because he looks at him for a second and ends up shaking his head.

"Ah, dammit. Okay, sure, let's do it now. Come on." He then turns and heads for the door.

Steve almost pumps his hand in the hair and grabs Bucky's shirt, yanking so he follows, which makes him stumble.

"Ah shit, you're not drunk, are you?" Steve asks, worried.

"No!" Bucky smooths down his clothes as they hurry behind Tony. "What the fuck is going on, Steve? Why the rush?"

"I don't want him to change his mind, which could happen if he sleeps on it and talks with his team. Do you want the job or not?"

"You know I need any job. What is it?"

"Classified, for now," Steve says. He knows he's probably tell Bucky if he insists, but he's not even supposed to know himself so not saying everything right now is the least he can do.

"Shit, really?"

In the street, Tony has already flagged down a cab, and Steve ends up in the middle of Tony and Bucky in the back seat (which is not a bad place to be). He's too nervous about the impending test to let his mind stray too much, though.

"What did you use in the field?" Tony asks.

"A Springfield M1903 at first. But later I got a Mosin Nagant 91/30," Bucky says. He sounds almost fond, which Steve cannot relate to when talking about a sniper rifle.

Tony on the other hand hums appreciatively. "I don't have one of those at the moment, but noted."

Steve expects a question about Bucky's number of kills - and by how tense Bucky is he does too; it's something he never wanted to tell Steve - but it never comes. The rest of the ride isn't long, but made in silence until they reach Tony's house. Mansion. Steve has only been here a handful of times, and he's always thought it looked beautiful but stuffy. Not even Tony looks comfortable in it unless it's in the library or downstairs in the shop where he works on Iron Man and his other inventions. It's only when seeing the armor that Bucky puts everything together.

"Oh, that Tony Stark!" he blurts and promptly blushes, which is something Steve wasn't even aware Bucky could do.

"I told you 'my boss, Tony Stark'," Steve says disbelievingly. 

"Steve, you always have like three jobs. And I was distracted."

"What do you mean, you have three jobs?" Tony asks, brows furrowing. "I don't pay you enough? You should have said!"

"No, no, my pay is fine," Steve hurries to say. It's the best salary he's ever had, and he even manages to save a little each week. "I used to need at least three jobs to make enough _before_ I started working for Marvel Magazine. It wasn't easy, with a contract here and there."

"Still," Tony says, busy opening wooden crates in the corner of the shop and fishing out rifles of different models, checking down the barrels and putting some aside. "You're due for a raise, I am sure."

Steve is about to protest that really, he's fine when Bucky slaps a hand over his mouth and hisses in his hear. "What comes out of your mouth better be 'thank you' and nothing else!"

He rolls his eyes, but he knows Bucky's not wrong. He's doing fine now, but Steve never knows when he could be sick and forced to stop working for a while. So when Bucky releases him, he complies.

"Thank you, Tony."

"You've been doing a very good job. The sales of the last issue you illustrated went up five percent."

Well that's awfully gratifying. Tony has selected four rifles that they take to another room that turns out to be deep enough to be used as a shooting range. He goes to a cabinet on the side, talking to himself.

"Jarvis keeps targets somewhere..."

Meanwhile Bucky is looking over the rifles they have brought attentively. His frown deepens the more he checks them out. Paper targets in hand, Tony goes to pin a couple on the back wall and when he comes back, Bucky puts down the last the three rifles he inspected back on the table next to him. He looks annoyed and on the way to angry and Steve winces. He really, really needs for this to work and it's not the time for Bucky to antagonize Tony.

"What's the assignment? Busting a county fair? Those rifles are crap."

By the way Tony smiles, pleased, it was a test and Steve lets out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. 

"They are indeed. Take this one," he says, handing over the one he brought himself. 

Bucky huffs as he looks at it. He begrudgingly admits after a couple of minutes that 'it will do'.

"We can't go with distance, so we'll have to settle for accuracy."

"A man like you can get my records. You'll see a mention of 1 100 yards," Bucky says, loading the weapon with brisk and efficient movements.

Tony whistles. "Geez, I'm surprised they let you go! What, did an officer catch you getting a blow job in a back alley?"

Steve almost chokes on his spit but fortunately Bucky starts laughing. "Close. The only reason I got a discharge and not prison is that the Brit officer I was on my knees for had a little pull."

Jesus. Steve doesn't know how they can talk about this so casually when his own face is flaming. And wow, now he can't get that visual out of his head, thank you so much Bucky.

"Tough luck," Tony says, making no big fuss of the story. "First target is to calibrate. Then I want you to group ten shot on the second. We'll go from there."

Bucky nods and drags the table from near the wall to right before where they are standing and is obviously meant to be the firing distance. It makes an awful screeching noise on the concrete floor and for a second Steve is tempted to go help him but it's clear by his friend's expression that he's already getting in his bubble. Bucky had always been great with a gun, even with his first pellet rifle. His remark about busting a county fair earlier brought back many souvenirs of Coney Island, where Bucky always managed to snag something to offer a pretty girl, even though the games were rigged. It was also a way to get boys attention since being a sharpshooter always came with compliments. Steve hadn't been surprised when Bucky had gotten into the infantry, once enlisted, and that he made his mark as a sniper. Nonetheless Steve's nervous, because he's counting on this so much.

The targets that Tony pinned to the wall are the classic black one-inch dot in the middle with concentric circles spreading out. After loading the gun, Bucky leans down all of his torso on the table, then props the rifle in position. Steve, who doesn't know what to do with himself but tries not to move too much because he doesn't want to mess with Bucky's concentration, glances at Tony and is dismayed when he catches him checking Bucky's ass. Fortunately the first shot rings - way louder than Steve expected – and Tony's eyes are immediately back on the target. From what Steve can see, Bucky totally missed the bull's-eye; he's way too much to the left. Fuck. The first target is for calibration anyway, right? Tony said so, and it was only the first shot. It's going to be okay.

Bucky moves the rifle's muzzle slightly, but the second shot is on the right this time, and Steve wants to curse. When the third is too high, Steve throws Tony a nervous glance, expecting to see him frown or unimpressed, but he's smirking instead. Confused, Steve looks back at the target and sees that Bucky punctured it too low. Too low, but in fact at the same distance from the center that all first three shots were. Now that he is more attentive, Steve sees that the shots are perfectly aligned like cardinal points on the first line circling the central dot. Bucky reloads, only to align his next four shots in the same manner, on the second concentric line. Steve is so, so proud and his smile is so wide he's almost hurting his face. Fuck that's beautiful, Bucky is the best.

"Okay, I got it Hot Shot," Tony says, sounding amused. "Now group some for me."

"Sure thing Boss," Bucky says cockily over his shoulder, winking at Steve who frankly feels a little faint. God, he's gorgeous. Steve's always had a thing for competency.

After reloading his gun, Bucky gets back in position and fires the next four bullets to the center of the target. It looks as if he hits dead center and Steve whoops when the last shot rings. Tony snort laughs and goes to the get the paper target while Steve hugs Bucky.

"Oh my God! That was amazing!"

Bucky laughs. "I am a little insulted that it you sound so surprised!"

"Oh no, I'm not surprised. But out of the blue like this, with a gun you don't know..."

"I'm with Steve on this," Tony says, back with the target. It looks as if there was only one bullet in the middle: that's how precise Bucky was and Steve experiences another surge of fierce pride. "You're every bit as good as he made you to be."

"So do I get the job?"

Tony looks at Steve and looks torn, but he sighs. "You get the job."

"Yes!" Steve tackles Bucky with a hug, and in his joy doesn't quite remember himself and does the same with Tony. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he says, smiling up at him. "You won't regret this, I swear."

Steve isn't sure how to read the expression on Tony's face, but it's mostly fond but mixed with guilt or something close. "I can't promise that, since I'm regretting it already. Not James, it's true I need him, but Steve-"

His stomach pummels. "No! You gave me your word Tony! Don't do this to me."

He's all but begging, but he's desperate. Tony heaves a big sigh and his shoulder slump a little. "You'd never forgive me, right?"

"No," Steve says firmly, even though he knows he's weak when it comes to Tony and eventually he would forgive. Not forget, and not for a long time, even though he knows Tony's intentions are good, and that he only wants to protect him. "Never. And I'd quit." Another lie.

"What the hell?" Bucky sounds completely confused, rightfully so.

But Steve's threat seems to have more weight than he thought because Tony sighs deeply again and nods. "Okay. Okay, we'll all go. But I don't like it."

It's like a ton has been lifted from Steve's shoulders and he grins up at Tony before hugging him again. "You made that clear. Thank you Tony."

Tony closes his arms around him for a few seconds, hugging back, and Steve's elated. God, it feels so great, and Tony smells so good he's a little light headed when they part. And he's finally going to be able to do his part for the war effort; this is the best day ever.

"Somebody mind telling me what is going on here?"

"Your friend is devious," Tony says. "Used you as leverage: if I give you the job, I have to bring him too."

Bucky squints, immediately suspicious. It's true that he knows Steve well. "And what kind of job is this? You need help to find a do-hickey somewhere?"

"Unofficial mission for the US Army," Tony says. "We need to bring back a scientist and his formula."

"It's very important, Buck," Steve says, not reassured by the way his friend is straightening up and crossing his arms.

"And where is that scientist?"

Shit shit shit, Bucky's getting this mulish expression on his face. Tony has seen it too and is almost smiling.

"Oh, only deep behind enemy lines, near the Fuhrer. Heavily guarded."

"Oh hell no!" Bucky says immediately. 

It's coming straight from the gut and immediately Steve hates that he's all but forcing Bucky to go back to war. He knows it's hard over there, and who knows what Bucky had to live through, discharge aside. He's safe and sound in the States, probably doesn't want to go back at all. As guilty as he feels, Steve has to try to convince him to go anyway. He walks to him and tugs on his sleeve because for some reason Bucky is glaring at Tony.

"Bucky-"

"No. You can't go over there. I won't help you get yourself killed."

And there it is again. Steve has had it, he's furious. 

"Hey, enough!" he shouts, hitting Bucky on the chest. "I am sick and tired of everyone deciding for me! I'm not a big hulking guy, but so what? I want to go. I _know_ that I can make a difference. Who are you, both of you, to decide I can't?"

"But-"

"No but!" Steve says firmly. 

He knows he's glaring, and he doesn't break eye contact, fueled by an incandescent fury. After a minute, miracle of miracle Bucky relents. His face scrunches and he looks in pain, but he nods.

"Okay then."

"Good." Steve's heart is beating hard, and he can't believe it's working out after all. 

"Convincing, isn't he?" Tony asks and Steve rolls his eyes before he looks at him. He realizes that Tony looks tired, still, which of course he is after arriving tonight and running all over because Steve insisted. Plus he's hurt. 

"That's because I'm right. And you should go to bed."

The mention of rest makes Tony yawn, and he blinks at them owlishly. "Huh. Right. I'll go call you a cab. Bring James by the office tomorrow, and we'll hash out the details."

"Okay," Steve says as they follow him to the Mansion's entryway, where Tony makes a quick call. "Good night Tony. Welcome back, by the way."

That earns him a tired little smile. 

"Thanks. I missed you, pig headedness and all. Night Steve, James," Tony says, turning around and climbing the massive staircase that must lead to his bedroom.

No lie, the comment made Steve's heart flip in his chest: he's missed Tony so much, too, but by the time his tongue unties it's too late to say it back since Tony has disappeared. He can't dwell on this too much because Bucky is dragging him outside.

"You owe me an explanation," Bucky says. "Start talking."

Steve starts by the missions Tony has done for Fury, then what he learned when he got back; he's got lots to cover.


	2. Chapter 2

It is their second time taking off and Steve thinks that he will never, ever grow tired of how amazing it is to see the land, boats and everything getting smaller and smaller as the plane climbs. He never thought he'd see Newfoundland, if only to refuel. Heck, he's lucky he got out of New York at all.

"You should close you mouth or you'll catch flies," Bucky says and Steve rolls his eyes.

"Shut up. This is amazing."

"Yeah, it's pretty great that your boss has _his own seaplane_ ," he replies, making wide eyes at Steve.

"He's your boss too."

That Tony is a genuine billionaire and all that can come with it doesn't seem to have registered for Bucky yet. Steve doesn't have time to comment that Tony comes to sit in front of them and proves it effortlessly.

"What? This old thing?" he says, shrugging. "It's a lot more practical to have my own instead of depending on Pan Am or the Air Force every time I have to cross the Atlantic."

"Sure, why not!" Bucky says, shaking his head with a scoff.

He is smiling, though, just like Steve is because this 'old thing', as Tony says, is decked to the nines and could ferry 37 passengers on top of the four crew members instead of their party of six.

Unsurprisingly, considering the way they interacted on the night they met, Bucky and Tony get along great. The rest of the team also immediately adopted Bucky among their ranks, Jarvis and Rhodes looking particularly impressed by Bucky's sharpshooting. Honestly, Steve had known about it and he'd been left pretty speechless at the show too when Tony had them all drive upstate on one of his properties for Bucky to do distance tests. In fact, the ease goes both ways which reassures Steve a lot: Bucky is a smartass and charming, but he doesn't open much and is slow to give his trust. It helped that Steve vouched for everyone, surely, but it's been good to see him relax more and more with the others.

On the other hand, there is a little ugly corner of Steve's heart that is dismayed at how _easily_ Bucky and Tony interact. He wants to be happy that everyone is getting friendly, but surely the looks and smiles are a little excessive. Oh hell, he's man enough to admit it, Steve is jealous as fuck. Not that anything is happening between them, it can't be since Bucky didn't leave his side much in the last week and they have been running around getting everything ready for the mission, but there's potential there. Steve sees it, Pepper rolled her eyes one too many times at a flirtatious remark from Tony that means she sees it too and Rhodes sure makes faces like he wishes he didn't have to witness this. Steve too, in fact; every flirtation he notices is like ice being dumped on his head. Not only has Steve been invisible that way to Bucky for years and years, now the man he moved most of his affection to is looking right past him and at his childhood friend slash crush. It makes Steve feel small and insignificant and he knows he's being totally ridiculous. Both men are gorgeous, of course they are attracted to each other. Steve is not even in the same planetary system. There's nothing that he can do about it but swallow his disappointment and deal with it. He's sure that he'll manage soon enough. He's done it all of his life after all.

"I meant to give you this," Tony says, dragging an elongated green canvas bag from behind the next row of seats to leave it at Bucky's feet.

Steve might be clueless about guns, but judging by the way Bucky's eyes go round when he takes the rifle out, it seems that Christmas has come early.

"Oh," he breathes out, caressing the wooden stock.

"You like it?" Tony says, pleased. "The Russians produce a shit ton of them, but a real good one was harder to find in New York than I thought it would be."

"It's perfect," Bucky says, beaming. "Thank you."

"My pleasure."

Oh, Steve is thrilled for his friend, he really is. What he appreciates the most right now is that the gun has all of Bucky's attention. After looking at it this way and that, he excuses himself and goes in the back of the plane, surely to take it apart (and do other things you do with a rifle). Steve only hopes that Bucky won't be too... effusive if he decides to thank Tony even more later. There must be a constipated expression on his face - or he looks as green as he feels - because Tony nudges his foot.

"You okay, Steve?"

He forces a smile. "Of course. That's awfully nice of you."

Tony shrugs. "A marksman needs a gun, and he said it was his preferred model. It's nothing."

"I'm sure Bucky will do great with it." He's going to do wonderfully, and Tony will be even more impressed than by his good looks, and they'll end up together while Steve is miserable. But hey, he's along for the ride to Europe for an important mission! Isn't it what he wanted most of all?

"Oh, I'm sure too. That boy can shoot alright, you weren't exaggerating."

Steve smirks. "I would never."

That earns him a laugh, and Steve's chest squeezes. God. Why is he doomed to hopelessly love men that are so beautiful that he has problem breathing?

"I've got something for you, too," Tony says. He takes out a small gun from a holster hidden under his vest and extends it to Steve.

Frankly, Steve never liked the things, but he takes it anyway and the first inane detail he notices is how it's warm from being pressed against Tony. The gun is about eight inches long, made of polished metal and a handle lined with nacre. He doesn't have much experience with handguns, but it's both deadly looking and strikingly beautiful. The metal parts are dark, almost blue that make an eerie contrast to the pale grip. 

"Heavily inspired by the M1911A1, as you can see-" To be honest Tony is talking gibberish’; Steve can't tell guns apart. "- but totally rebuilt with Stark standards. I can assure you that this baby won't ever jam on you. Semi-automatic, caliber .45, and I managed a 10 rounds magazine. It takes standard 7 rounds magazines too, in a pinch."

"Ah." He keeps turning the gun around, caressing the nacre that shines in the sunlight, and he doesn't dare take it in hand properly. 

"You don't like it?"

Steve looks up and Tony looks... disappointed. He gives Steve a little half smile.

"Made it thinking of you. You know: small and pretty, but gets the job done."

That makes Steve gape stupidly, before he closes his mouth and gulps, looking down at the gun again. Tony called him pretty, he didn't hallucinate that, right? Also...

"You made it yourself?" _For me?_

"Of course. I hate to say it, but wars are unfortunately good for my wallet, and I can make guns and bombs better than most."

"Stark Industries does so much more than weapons," Steve says distractedly, now fascinated by the gun. He can't believe that Tony did it while thinking of him. "I don't even know how to shoot," he says, feeling stupid. Bucky offered to teach him so many times, but he had always refused, fascinated by just watching.

"I could give you lessons, if you want," Tony offers as if it's no big deal. 

It isn't, really, but immediately Steve comes up with scenarios of Tony getting close to straighten his position, plastered to his back and speaking near his ear and he senses a blush coming a mile away. He nervously glances at Bucky, hoping that there are as little witnesses as possible to his shame - thankfully Bucky is still fascinated by his gun, now in parts on the table - but then Tony sighs.

"Oh, right, yeah. Silly me. I'm sure James is a great teacher."

Oh shit. He cannot let this occasion slip through his fingers and he conjures a smile for Tony that he hopes isn't too manic. "No, no, he's terrible." He is not. "I'd love lessons if you have time."

It's like Tony lights up, smiling wide. "Really? We'll make time."

It sounds amazing. Steve is now suddenly very interested in guns. Or more shooting lessons. He must even look stupid smiling like a loon at the prospect. He almost yelps in surprise when his new gun is grabbed from his hands.

"Oh, sweet," Bucky says, checking the gun over. "It's beautiful." It isn't fair how competent he looks while looking at it.

Steve takes his handgun back forcefully. Almost growls and cradles it against his chest. "It's mine."

Bucky raises his hands up in a defensive gesture, eyebrows high on his forehead like Steve is a crazy person. He possibly is. "Okay, okay." Bucky turns to looks at Tony, who looks extremely content right now. It must be nice to create something that causes envy. "Where's the gun oil?"

"Hum. We should ask Jarvis. It's somewhere in the back?" Tony gets up and they move that way.

Steve peers at the gun again, and slowly smiles. He'll need lessons in cleaning it and shit, too. Why not start now? "Hey, do you have those little brushes too? I need brushes to clean it, right?"

"It's brand new, doofus," Bucky says.

"No, no, it's alright. I'll show you how it works Steve, let's go ask Jarvis for a kit."

Steve cannot help grinning at Bucky as he passes him, following Tony. If Bucky frowns, confused, well that's not Steve's problem at all.

**

It took more than a day to reach London since they had to stop in Foynes, Ireland too. Tony has a house where they all crash for a couple of hours before refining their plans as much as they can before they have to leave England for the continent. If the information they have is accurate, Dr. Erskine is with the science division of Hydra working in a castle in Austria, well surrounded by German troops. Steve is studying the maps, still vibrating with excitement that he's actually part of the mission. Tony must have had told the team not to argue with his inclusion, because Jarvis, Rhodes and Pepper didn't make a remark. In fact, he's made several well received suggestions on the itinerary they should take to make a good time reaching their objective, with as little trouble as possible. They aren't sanctioned by the military, so they don't expect support on that front. It happens that Bucky made several missions in a region they will go through, so his input was precious too.

"You're the one who gave me his contact info, Pepper," Steve hears Tony say.

"Yes, but I'm not sure we can trust whatever he says."

At Pepper's concerned tone, Steve turns to observe them, curious. Tony's ready to leave in a long trench coat and a hat. In which he looks dashing, of course.

"Doesn't hurt to listen. He says that he has information on Erskine's research," Tony argues. 

"You should wait for Jim or Jarvis," Pepper counters.

"No." Tony shakes his head, and even looks over at Steve and Bucky, who is adjusting things on his rifle again. It's all he's done in the last two days. "Loki said to meet him alone. So I am going, _alone_." 

It's said pointedly, a clear command not to follow him, and Steve's grinds his teeth. They know next to nothing about that shady Loki character but he sounds like a lot of trouble. 

"Be careful," Bucky says. "I need this job, Boss."

That makes Tony chuckle. "Please. I'm going to have a drink with a man for information! I don't get why you're all fretting so much."

"It's still war." Steve had been woken up by alarms announcing air raids. Fortunately London hadn't been touched.

"It is. I'll be fine, this won't take long, I'll be back before you know it," Tony reassures.

With that he leaves, whistling, and Pepper sighs but goes up towards her room. Steve, on the other hand, doesn't think he can stand staying idle until Tony comes back, so he gets up and gathers his coat.

"Where are you going?"

He rolls his eyes at Bucky. "I'll give you two guesses."

"Tony was very clear that he didn't want us to follow."

"And since when do I listen to stupid orders?"

Bucky scoffs. "Since never. Okay then."

It seems as is Bucky is set to follow _him_.

"What do you think you're doing?" Steve asks, crossing his arms.

He gets a disbelieving face. "Take a guess. I think you'll only need the one."

"I don't need you to come with me." It's so frustrating sometimes that everyone thinks he cannot take care of himself because he's small.

"Look, Steve," Bucky argues, putting on his coat too. "You know I'll follow you even if you leave by yourself. So why don't we cut the bullshit and stick together?"

He has a point. "Okay. Let's go."

"Miss Potts said it was at the Golden Goat, I know where it is."

"Of course you do. Oh and it's really alright if you call her Pepper. Another Miss Potts after the number of times she told you to stop, and she'll punch you in the face."

"Stark calls her Miss Potts all the time."

Steve shrugs. "Yeah. But that's their thing."

"Are they, you know," Bucky makes a face.

"No." He'd thought so too for the longest time and been incredibly envious of their rapport. 

Unwilling to discuss Tony's relationship status, and even less interested to be put in the position of answering Bucky if he wonders if he has a chance with Tony himself, Steve ushers them out.

It's incredibly dark outside, and it takes a couple of streets for Steve's eyes to properly adjust. Not only it is near the new moon, every possible source of light coming from homes and businesses are covered by heavy curtains, cardboard or paint for the nightly blackout. Still, a few people are milling about and Bucky finds the Golden Goat pretty easily. It wouldn't do them any good to be caught, so instead of entering by the front door, Bucky leads him to the back of the building.

"If we want to make sure he's alright, we need see him, Buck!"

Bucky scoffs. "Of course, dumbass. There's a door, and if the layout hasn't changed - and it never does in those places - we should be less visible from the main part of the pub where I suppose they'll sit." 

"You really know the place," Steve remarks out loud and gets a shove for his trouble.

"I do. Now come on."

There's indeed a back door that provides a discreet way in. Bucky's self-satisfied smirk is annoying, though, so Steve doesn't remark on it. He spots Tony immediately, and in a stroke of luck he is sitting mostly with his back to the table that Steve and Bucky choose for themselves. It means that they have a very good view of the man sitting facing Tony, who has to be Loki. 

Steve dislikes him immediately. The pub is fairly crowded, which is good since it enables them to be at least a little inconspicuous. Loki, on the other hand, totally stands out. Steve decides it's because of way he holds himself - as if he's too good to be seen in such a place - on top of his appearance. He's well dressed, dabbed in perfectly tailored clothes that would be better suited at the opera than in a dockside pub, and has the aristocratic features to match. He's attractive, as much as Steve hates to admit it, with pale skin and dark hair that make him quite striking. To add insult to injury, he looks to be tall and lean, and manages to appear effortlessly suave in a way that Steve will never achieve.

"What do you think he wants?" Bucky asks, taking Steve out of his head.

"No idea. That's what bothers me. He knows we want to find the doctor, but Tony says that Fury swore he told no one."

"He must have other contacts in the military," Bucky reasons.

"But that's just the thing: it's supposed to be a secret mission. I don't like that he knows, and that he suddenly has information. That has to be given in person, to Tony alone."

He doesn't like how Loki has caught all of Tony's focus, either, and seems to be able to hold it. The noise level in the pub is too high for Steve to even hope catching what they are talking about, but it's a good back and forth, probably banter judging by the smirks that curl up Loki's lips. Tony throws his head back for a genuine laugh, and Steve has to refrain a growl. And when not a minute later he sees Loki extend one of his long legs and press against Tony's ankle, deliberately, he almost breaks a molar with how hard he clenches his jaw. This is flirting, out in plain sight, and isn't Loki aware how dangerous that is? 

"Holy fuck."

Steve has no idea what Bucky's problem is, and he looks at him with a frown, only to be met with a disbelieving expression. Bucky's eyes are wide, and he's looking right back at Steve as if whatever made him curse is his fault.

"What?" 

Bucky looks at where Tony and Loki are, and then deliberately down at Steve's hands that are curled into fists on his lap before he trails back to his face.

"You're jealous." It's not even a question. 

Immediately Steve's heart rate doubles, and he flushes. Shit, way to give away the game. "What are you talking about? I don't like the guy. He's smarmy."

He keeps his tone low, weary of the surrounding customers, but nobody cares. 

"Come on, don't bullshit me Steve! You're clearly trying to murder Loki with the power of your mind. You don't like him because he's hitting on Tony and you're sweet on him." 

He's been told a million times, lots of them by Bucky, that he's a terrible liar. So instead of denying it some more, Steve puts his flaming face in his hands and groans. 

"Kill me now."

He doesn't expect Bucky to stay silent as long as he does, no ribbing or teasing. After a minute he looks through his fingers and finds out that Bucky is biting his lip, worrying the edge of his mouth. He finally looks back up at Steve and looks sad, for some reason.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. I wouldn't have..." he trails off, but the meaning is clear. He didn't mean to hurt him by flirting with Tony. 

Steve shrugs. "I know. But he doesn't see me like that, anyway." No one sees him like that.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Bucky says, looking towards Tony. "He cares about you a lot, it's obvious."

Low, making sure no one is listening, Steve says, "he flirts with you." 

It is what it is after all. No need to lie.

"Maybe he doesn't know that it would be okay to flirt with _you_."

Could be, but it's unlikely. Or Tony is completely blind: Steve is staring, blushing or stammering 70% of the time they are together. He's reduced to a helpless shrug again.

Bucky makes a sad face. "Why didn't you ever tell me? Is it new, or only Tony?"

So that's what is bothering him. Steve never wanted to hurt Bucky's feelings! "It is not new, or only him. I would have told you, but I was a coward."

"That makes no sense," Bucky says, frowning. "Not only we're best friends, but you've known about me for years. I was the safest person to tell."

That's so far from the truth that Steve starts laughing. "Oh no, no. I couldn't risk that."

Now Bucky looks offended, and a little belligerent. "How can you say that?"

"I knew you wouldn't judge," Steve explains, soothing. "But you would have asked if I liked anyone, taken me to that club more, or even tried to set me up. I didn't want to make things awkward when you realized-" He can't say it. He never could, too afraid to lose his friend.

He's said too much, anyway, because Bucky squints. "When I realized what?"

Things are different now, right? Bucky isn't his everything, not anymore, even though he's one of the most important people in his life. And they're together on a mission, they've grown up and can be mature about this for sure.

"When you realized I was sweet on _you_ ," he admits, heart hammering. He's sure that he's bright red again.

Bucky suddenly stands up, and it makes Steve rear back in surprise. He throws a glance Tony's way, but, fortunately or not, him and Loki are still in their own bubble and didn't notice a thing.

"Come with me," Bucky says firmly, before turning around and taking long determined strides towards the back door. 

Steve follows, and he has no idea what to expect. It almost looks like Bucky is angry. As soon as they are outside, and he's made sure that they are alone, he turns around to face Steve with his arms crossed over his chest.

"You liked me. Like that."

Oh, God, Steve knew he never should have told him. It's going to change everything. But then again, it's finally said and Steve won't lie anymore. 

"Yes."

"When?"

"Since Thomas Norman." 

Steve had caught them kissing in an alley, and his heart had lurched. Not only was his best friend a fairy, which was a shock, but he was also jealous instead of disgusted, which obviously meant something was going on with him, too. 

"What!" Bucky is pulling at his hair. "Jesus, Steve, that was ten years ago. We were fifteen."

"I know."

"And you just..."

"I never said anything, because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." He said as much before, it's not hard to understand.

Bucky laughs, but it sounds painful. "You are such an idiot."

"Wow, thanks. I feel so bad I never told you, with that reaction," Steve says as sarcastically as he can.

"A total moron," Bucky insists. "For God's sake, I offered you lessons so you'd practice kissing."

Yeah, that one had been - Steve's thoughts comes to an abrupt halt. He remembers that day, vividly. They'd been sixteen, and Steve was trying to gather the nerves to ask Elizabeth Wilson out. Steve had worried out loud that he was afraid he'd be a terrible kisser, since he'd never done it. He'd made his peace with the fact that Bucky would never want him, but Bucky had thrown that bombshell about kissing lessons like it was no big deal. Steve had been convinced it was a joke; it had felt cruel at the time, made him leave in a huff, stomping, and he hadn't talked to Bucky for three days. He had also thought about calling Bucky's bluff and asking for those lessons, just to turn the joke against him. He had not, though, aware that if Bucky somehow accepted, Steve wouldn't be able to hide his feelings. But now Bucky is implying that it was a real offer. That he was not only offering his help so Steve wouldn't look like a fool, but that he wanted it too.

"You were serious?"

"I saw a chance to kiss you." He shrugs as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Steve gapes, completely shocked. "You liked me?"

"Yes. Of course." Bucky slowly walks to him, eyes searching Steve's face. "You're amazing, Steve. I've always thought so."

He's within reach now, and with a slightly shaky hand Steve extends his arm and touches Bucky's chest. He can sense his heart thundering, like his, and it makes his head spin. 

"Oh. God." He looks up and he cannot find any words to say, this is earth-shattering. He's loved Bucky for so long, and that it seems to be reciprocated still doesn't fully register. 

Bucky looks just as choked up, gray eyes huge with wonder. His lips curl up and Steve can't look away, entranced.

"So, about those les-" 

Steve surges up to kiss him, too forcefully but Bucky laughs as he kisses back, putting his hands up to hold Steve's face and slow him down. It takes a second to synch up and they are kissing, soft and hard in turns, pouring years and years of longing and want it it. It's every bit as amazing as he'd ever dreamed of, and he cannot get enough. The world has narrowed to them, to this kiss, to everything it means. Bucky's the one who pulls away first, after a series of soft kisses to his mouth. Bucky steps back though he's clutching at Steve's wrist like he never wants to let go.

"It's not safe. Come on."

Dazed, Steve follows the tug on his arm as if walking on clouds. 'He likes me back' keeps echoing in his head, and he resists the need to pinch himself because if this is a dream, it's one of the best he's ever had and he doesn't want to wake up. He follows without saying a word through the streets, in the house, up the stairs until he's back in his room and Bucky closes the door. Only then does Bucky release his wrist and doubt crosses his face as he looks back at Steve.

"Are you sure?"

"Who's being stupid now?" Steve replies, pushing Bucky towards the bed. "Of course I'm sure."

Bucky grins, happy and so beautiful that Steve loses his breath all over again.

"Alright, then." Bucky grabs Steve's belt and yanks, making them collide and they are kissing once more. 

He ends up down on the bed, Bucky pinning him down in the most delicious way. 

"Bucky, Bucky, God," he keeps repeating like a mantra, shuddering when one of Bucky's hands slides under his shirt and finds skin.

He thinks he helps, hopes so, and soon they've lost their shirts and are now skin on skin from the waist up; it's amazing. He's hard and panting, barely able to kiss with any amount of coordination anymore.

"Shhh, it's alright, I've got you," Bucky says near his ear before nipping at the skin of his neck. He grinds down and is hard too, which is so hot Steve knows he won't be able to hold on.

"I'm close, so close, I'm sorry." 

"S'okay, I'm close too, just a sec," Bucky says, kneeling up to undo his belt. Steve tries with his own, but eventually needs help because his hands are shaking too much. 

"You're so beautiful," Steve says, eyes roaming over Bucky's body, his gorgeous face and stunning eyes. 

"And you're perfect," Bucky says. 

Steve almost protest that there's no need to lie, he's a sure thing. He knows what he looks like, but words desert him because Bucky's taking Steve's pants and underwear off, pushing down his own mid-thighs, and he can't stop staring. Bucky smiles at his dumbstruck expression but it is full of affection, not mocking at all, and lays down on him again. 

"I've wanted you for what seems like forever," he tells Steve, kissing him before he grinds down once more. Their erections slide together and Steve makes an embarrassing sound of need and tries to hump up to recreate the sensation. 

"Please!" He's so close, and it won't take much.

A shudder goes through him when Bucky closes his hand around both of their cocks. It's so, so good and he keens again. 

"That's it, Stevie," Bucky croons, pumping his hand. It makes Steve paw at Bucky's shoulders, trying to find a grip, but he freezes when there's a sudden twisting stroke hitting his buttons just right. He's suddenly right on the edge, release looming.

"Oh!" he says in wonder before he's tipping over, coming hard. The rush is incredible and bright, so good, and Bucky follows right after with a grown, the bliss on his face making everything even better for Steve. 

Bucky slumps to the side, breathing hard in Steve's neck who brings up a hand to caress up and down his back, before detouring to burrow in his soft hair. It's getting long, falling into Bucky's eyes sometimes, but it makes him even more handsome somehow. Steve is still on a high, a warm wellness coursing through his veins and he cannot stop grinning. 

"You like me back," he manages to whisper, and even he can hear how his tone is full of wonder.

"I do. So much," Bucky says, nuzzling into his neck and using the arm still over Steve's torso to hug him close. 

Steve is jarred back to the real world by a brisk knock against his door.

"Steve, hey Steve, you awake?" Tony says, turning the door handle without waiting for the answer.

Both him and Bucky tense up but there is absolutely no time to react, not even to say something, that Tony has opened the door and is looking in. What he sees leaves little to the imagination to what they've been doing, which is embarrassing. But what makes Steve's heart lurch is how the smile drops from Tony's face for a moment when he realizes he's caught them together, is replaced with shock, but flickers almost immediately back in the terribly fake smile that Steve hates.

"Oh, my bad. Sorry, sorry," he says, retreating and re-closing the door. "Didn't think- it can wait. Tomorrow. Good night!" The tone is light, too light and cheerful. Seeing them hurt Tony, somehow, and it's bad. Real bad. They hear him go down the stairs, then out of the door. 

Steve is still frozen, heart in his throat, when Bucky curses. "Goddamnit."

It's a very good summary of Steve's emotions. Two minutes ago it was the best Steve had ever felt, and now he thinks he's going to be sick. God, Tony's eyes...

Bucky's getting up, pulling at his pants before taking the handkerchief out of his back pocket to clean up the come on his belly and hand. He looks spooked, eyes a little wild and Steve realizes that the last time Bucky got caught, he lost almost everything.

"It will be okay," Steve says with as much conviction as he can. "Tony won't send us away, you know he doesn't mind-"

"Doesn't mind? Oh, he'll mind alright. He already does." Bucky puts his shirt back on, movements jerky. "Fuck, when he looks back he'll think I'm a hell of a tease, flirting with him but fucking the guy he's in love with behind his back. I'm sure that will go over real well." 

Steve has had blows to the head that hit less than those words. "What? He's not... he doesn't-"

"That man is crazy about you, Stevie."

It's simultaneously one of the greatest and worst thing he's ever heard. He has prayed for that to happen. But now he's got Bucky, finally... and he doesn't know what to do about Tony. Surely he won't let Bucky leave, though, so he grabs his wrist when he tries to go for the door.

"Hold on a minute. Sit down."

Fortunately Bucky listens, sitting down and taking his head between his hands. "Fuck. This is bad. I'm sorry."

Steve wipes the mess on his stomach with Bucky's discarded handkerchief before carefully scooting over, running a hand up and down his back. When Bucky doesn't react badly, he leans against him fully, hugging him from behind and hooking his chin on his shoulder.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," he says, kissing his cheek. "I love you. I've loved you for years. We're going to be okay."

Bucky turns his head to get a proper kiss, softer than they shared until now. "I love you too."

Steve smiles, caressing Bucky's cheek. "See? That's what is important. We'll get through this."

Bucky is searching his face again. "But you love him, too. I realized it only in the pub, but it adds up."

He almost lies, consider saying what it's only physical attraction and that it doesn't matter anymore since he's got Bucky now. But God help him, it's true. He's in love with two men at the same time and feels terrible about it. It should be simple now. He should be able to close his heart to what might have been with Tony and focus on the man he's loved for over 10 years without even batting his eyelashes. But since life is cruel, it's not as black and white as that.

"I do. Love Tony. He's..." Words fail him, he doesn't know how to explain all that he is and he nuzzles Bucky's shoulder. This is terrible, he is terrified that he's now hurting Bucky's feelings.

But the non-explanation only makes Bucky huff. "He's Tony."

"Yes. He's Tony." That's exactly it.

Bucky's not smiling, exactly, but he doesn't seem mad or hurt. "I've known him for a week and I get it. How long have you been working for him again?"

"Two years," Steve says with a wistful sigh. "You left for the war, and he was... I got invested."

"It's normal, Steve," Bucky says, squeezing his hand. "As you might have noticed, I was doing my best to get into his pants, too."

"You don't say," he says, as dryly as he can. He hugs Bucky a little tighter and kisses his neck. "But I love you, too. I want to be with you."

Bucky turns around to gather him in his arms and kisses him again. Love is written all over his face and Steve kind of wants to kick his past self for all the time they lost.

"You've got me. Always have."

**

When Steve goes down to the living room the next morning, he finds Rhodes pacing and Pepper sitting on the couch and going through her notebook, looking harried. They turn towards him with hope when he enters the room, but disappointment soon follows.

"What's going on?"

"Tony didn't come back from his meeting with Loki," Pepper says, closing her book with a frustrated sigh. Her mouth is pinched with worry. "I should never have let him go by himself."

"If he'd just waited for me!" Rhodes says, visibly frustrated. "He keeps disappearing on me, I swear to God!"

Steve winces, because this is his fault.

"He did come back," Steve says.

Rhodes stops in his tracks and turns to him. "What? When?"

"Last night. He went out to that pub, met Loki. And he came back. He was fine."

Pepper breathes out, relieved. "Oh, thank God!"

"Are you sure about that? You saw him?" Rhodes asks. 

He always worries about Tony, but that is probably because he has the most experience with Tony's special gift for getting in trouble. Steve hasn't forgotten that only weeks ago Tony crashed a plane behind enemy lines and Rhodes had to go and get him.

"Yes, he came to my room, after." Fuck, now what? Steve can't say more without exposing their little drama fest. "I heard him go out again afterwards."

"What did he learn from Loki?" Rhodes asks. "And why did he go out again?"

"I don't know," Steve says, miserable. Tony sounded so excited to tell him whatever he'd learned, too. 

"What happened? Pepper asks, and when Steve looks at her she's squinting, suspicious.

"I... he..." Steve stammers and almost jumps out of his skin when Bucky appears next to him. He hadn't heard him come down the stairs at all. 

Bucky gives Steve a little reassuring smile and puts his hand on his back in silent comfort, too, which he leans into automatically. 

"When Tony came to Steve's room, I was there, too." 

He's standing proud and a bit defiant, and Steve might fall in love a little more. Bucky isn't ashamed of saying they were together, like that. Even though Steve has known Pepper and Rhodes for two years and considers them his friends, he's nervous. 

It doesn't take more than Bucky's declaration and Steve's fidgeting for Rhodes to catch on. 

"Son of a bitch!" he curses, and it clicks for Pepper right after. 

She brings up a hand to her mouth and looks sad instead of mad, which might be even worse. "Oh. Oh no."

These reactions of Tony's best friends, which clearly indicate that they are sure that finding out that Bucky and Steve were together hurt Tony, make his chest constrict. It is indirect proof, a lot more solid than Bucky's hunch, that Tony indeed has feelings for him. He would have been over the moon to discover it only ten hours ago, but not like this. Not when he unwillingly hurt Tony.

As if he timed his entrance for the most dramatic impact, Tony throws open the door and strides in. In fact, he basically slinks in with a little smirk on his face that gets more pronounced when he sees them all there, though his eyes only skip over Bucky and him. Steve is balancing between relief that he is alright and being supremely uncomfortable because of what happened the night before.

"Oh, hey! Morning gang!" Tony says, putting his hat on the coat hanger.

"Where the hell were you?" Rhodes is pissed.

"Whoa there, Buddy," Tony says, getting out of his trench coat. 

His clothes are rumpled, and his shirt unbuttoned at the collar. He looks sinful, and immediately Steve is torn: it seems that he cannot temper this side of him, even though he slept next to Bucky all night, marveling that he finally could watch and touch and it was okay. 

"It's a legitimate question," Rhodes continues. "Like why the hell didn't you wait for me to go see Loki?"

Tony rolls his eyes and walks to flop on the couch next to Pepper, sprawling like a big cat. "Because he said to come alone."

"We had no idea what his intentions were!"

Tony's smirk stretches out to become a sly smile. "Oh, believe me, he had no intention of hurting me."

Steve is assailed by the memories of Loki outright flirting with Tony and he's pretty sure that he understands what happened. Tony had flirted back, as he usually does, but he'd come back to the house, to tell Steve about what he learned. By the looks of it, he went right back to Loki when he left again. The smirks, the relaxed posture, the mussed hair now that Steve is paying more attention, it all adds up to Tony hooking up with someone. He cannot help it, jealousy courses through Steve at the thought and Bucky's hand on his lower back flexes, reacting too. It's pretty hypocritical of them, considering.

"Jesus, Tony," Rhodes says, shaking his head. "One day you'll take one risk too many."

"Well that one paid off. Is anyone curious about what I found out that relates to the mission? Or I can look forward to have lessons on morals and acceptable actions all day?"

Pepper sighs. "Please, yes. What did Loki have to say?"

Tony sits up straighter. "Fascinating stuff. So we knew that Erskine had a serum, and unknown tech to go with it. Loki offered info on the artifact that powers it all. A blue cube, of great energy. According to him, it's dangerous and must never be touched with bare skin if one wants to survive. Something about phasing out, whatever that means."

"It could explain why the expeditions sent by Fury all failed," Pepper muses.

"And why did he offer that info?" Rhodes asks, taking the question right out from Steve's mouth.

"Because Loki wants the cube," Tony says, getting up. "When I told him it was out of the question, he said that getting it away from Hydra would suffice for now."

Reluctantly Rhodes nods. "Fine. I guess it doesn't hurt to be careful with the cube if it's true. Anything else?"

Steve hates how all through the conversation, Tony didn't even glance at him. He normally makes eyes contact with everyone in a room, but right now it's as if Steve is invisible. Then again, he's been standing there with Bucky at his back all the while, which he understands can't be pleasant if Tony is honestly hurt. There isn't even a glance when Tony walks to the table with the maps, at Steve's side.

"Yeah. He confirmed the info that the Doc and his research are in Blitzen Castle." He points on the map. It's in Austria, surrounded by the enemy as they thought. "We'll be leaving in two days. Rhodes, I'm going to change but be ready in thirty minutes, we've got to go talk to Jarvis about the airship. Can't drop us too close or even in Austria, not if we want to be inconspicuous, but surely we can make good headway."

"Got it."

"Pep, work your magic for the IDs and papers we'll need, and I'll warn Jarvis that we'll be traveling light." Which probably means no Iron Man.

"I'm almost finished already."

Tony smiles at her, warm and fond. Smiles Steve used to get, too, when he wasn't seemingly transparent. "Of course. That's great, thanks Pep."

Without any instructions for Bucky and Steve, he takes the stairs two by two towards the second floor. Rhodes and Pepper scatter too, and they are left standing in place, by themselves. 

Bucky slides his hand around, briefly hugs Steve by behind and kisses his cheek.

"Hey, it's going to be okay."

Steve must look totally lost, if he's the one getting the reassurances right now, especially with how Bucky had reacted the night before.

"I sure hope so."

Hopes with all he has.


	3. Chapter 3

Rhodes and Pepper, and also Jarvis before they split, are good people and too nice to treat Bucky or Steve badly. They do not even make pointed remarks, but they nonetheless visibly close ranks around Tony. Some days it's more subtle than others, but Rhodes especially will often stand close to his best friend and radiate vibes that they are not to approach. Tony himself is less avoiding, though he doesn't seek Steve anymore to chat or hang out, even in transit while they make their way to continental Europe, and Steve misses him terribly even though he's _right there_. He figures that the least he can do is give Tony his space if he needs it, but it is tearing him up inside. 

And there's Bucky, steadfast and reliable by his side, who has stopped flirting with Tony but also won't touch Steve if they aren't alone in a room, even casually as they've both done their whole lives. It's hard, because Steve still marvels that Bucky wants him back and he'd be in constant contact if he could, like most new lovers want to be. He forgets himself sometimes; when one night at a restaurant he absentmindedly squeezes Bucky's shoulder who then flinches, hard, it's like a stab to the gut. Steve turns around and stalks out of the small dining room, eyes blurry with tears of frustration, and seeks refuge in the alley beside the building. He wants to scream and rage but kicks a rock instead. He hates this. 

"Steve." The tone is remorseful, and Steve turns to see Bucky looking every bit as hurt as he is, which of course doesn't help his mood at all.

"It was only a hand on your shoulder, for Christ's sake!"

"I know. I'm sorry." 

Okay, great, now Steve is a jackass on top because Bucky looks absolutely miserable. "I'm sorry too. I overreacted."

Bucky sighs, pushing a hand in his hair as he takes a few steps towards him. "It's just... conditioning, you know? And I don't want to shove it in his face."

"If by his face you mean mine, don't worry about it," Tony says, and Steve's heart lurches when he sees that he has entered the alley too. Bucky whips around and Steve moves to his side while Tony gestures between the two of them. "You know I don't mind-"

Don't mind two men together, probably, but Steve's not so sure he doesn't mind them specifically.

"Still-"

"Listen, I followed you guys because I hate how everyone is tip toeing around because of me," Tony says with a shake of the head. "Everyone is being weird and I don't like it. Can we make an effort to act normal? I'll tell the others to back off. I don't know what's gotten into them."

They're protective, Steve gets that. All the things he's wanted to say since that fateful night are bubbling in Steve's chest. They find a crack to spill at last in this alley in the middle of a small town in Northern Italy.

"It was the first time," he blurts out, surprising them three it seems, Bucky turning big round eyes on him while Tony furrows his brow. "Us, that night," he adds, grabbing Bucky's sleeve. "We'd only been friends before."

Tony tilts his head to the side. "Okay, sure." He doesn't look convinced at all. "Why are you telling me this? You're together now, right?"

"Yes. I wanted you to know. We were not hiding this from you guys before." From Tony specifically.

"And so you know that I was not leading you on either," Bucky says, taking the relay. 

It makes Tony huff and smile at them for the first time in four days. "So you were really trying to get into my pants?" 

It's magical to see Bucky grin back. "They are very flattering pants."

Tony chuckles. "I have a good tailor."

"A little too good," Steve manages to say. Tony's eyebrow raise in surprise at the compliment.

"Nah, only good enough," he says with a wink. "It was good for the ego, I won't lie. Okay, boys, I'm serious. I was surprised that's all. I'm happy for you. Stop acting as if I'm going to send you back if you dare glance at the other."

"Thank you Tony," Steve says sincerely. He's such a wonderful person.

"Yeah, thanks," Bucky adds.

With a little wave Tony turns and leaves the alley, giving them a good view of exactly how great his tailor is. 

"I think I have a problem," Bucky says, when they are alone.

"What?" 

"Don't take this badly, but I still find those pants very flattering."

Steve rolls his eyes. "That's because you didn't suddenly go blind. I get it."

He gets it a little too much.

Bucky hums. "True. And it's okay, by the way. That you are still sweet on him. I understand."

"Thanks," Steve says meekly, because he's feeling so guilty about it. He doesn't understand how he got so lucky that Bucky isn't more disturbed by it.

"Come on, let's go back," Bucky says. "I'm hungry."

Wordlessly, Steve follows.

**

It's better, after that. Tony's smiles aren't as frequent as they were, and he still doesn't seek Steve much, but it's like the cloud of awkwardness has mostly lifted. Rhodes sometimes lets a frown slip when Bucky and Steve are close, but since they still mostly keep their distance in public - thank god without flinches anymore - it doesn't happen often. What definitely puts them back on easier grounds is that Bucky - bless him - stops walking on eggshells and starts teasing Tony again. Not overt flirting with innuendos like before, but they both have a competitive nature and soon jokes and banter are flowing back and forth again.

They have been traveling long hours on dirt roads in the country to avoid the Germans and decided to set camp in an abandoned barn for the night. Bucky is taking advantage of the last minutes of light to darn his socks. Steve's been doodling the interior of the barn, and is adding the curious pigeons on the rafters when he sees Tony stopping to stare at Bucky, hand on his hips.

"What are you doing?"

Bucky doesn't even glance up. "What does it look like?"

"I mean... put on other socks?"

"They all have holes." Bucky says, tugging on the string and making another loop, biting his lip in concentration.

"All of your socks have holes?"

"All of them," Steve confirms. "It's driving me nuts." 

It's not like they are carrying a lot of clothes in their luggage, necessity of traveling light obliges, but still. That every single sock that Bucky owns has holes is beyond Steve's understanding. He had him promise to fix them. Or at least one pair.

"I was hoping you'd go hunt some supper?" Tony asks. 

They have supplies, but not so much produce or fresh meat that they usually buy from farmers. Bucky often adds rabbits or partridges to the menu if they can't. 

"Can't, busy."

"I'll buy you socks next town over," Tony tries to bargain.

Bucky shakes his head. "No, I have to do this."

Tony's eyes skid to everyone else in the room and gets unanimous 'I dare you to suggest I darn Bucky's sock' looks back. He's smart enough to not even suggest it. 

"Okay, then. Vegetable soup it is," Tony says with a shrug.

"Why don't you go?" Bucky says. Tony's not as precise as Bucky, but he's a good shot. "And bring Steve with ya, make him practice with that fancy gun you gave him."

Frankly, Steve doesn't understand why Bucky is doing this, but he does jump at the chance. They might have brought him to Europe, but the whole team still coddles him, most days, and that's true even for Bucky.

"Great idea," Steve says, sketchbook immediately discarded and getting to his feet. He swipes away the straw that has stuck to his pants and makes sure he has a spare clip in his pocket. Apart from cleaning it that first day in the plane, he hasn't had the chance to try the pistol.

"Sure," Tony says.

"Don't go too far," Rhodes say, and the automatic mother hen routine has everyone but Tony smile.

"Yes Mom."

They take a path leading to a fallow field, before it verges towards a clump of trees. Steve isn't familiar with hunting, but it makes sense that it would be a good spot for animals. Not that he particularly wants to kill something. In fact, he doesn't care for it at all.

"Vegetable soup isn't so bad," he finally says. 

Tony laughs. "Having second thoughts?"

Steve scrunches his nose. "I don't _mind_ -"

"It's fine," Tony cuts in with a smile. "I like vegetable soup too."

"I'd like to try the gun though."

That makes Tony tilt his head and assess him. "If you don't want to shoot Bugs Bunny... " he trails off but the rest of the question is clear: what makes you think firing at human beings will be easier? 

"Frankly? I don't want to shoot at anything. But I'll do it, if I have to." To protect those who need it, especially everyone he loves.

A nod. "I believe you will," Tony says with confidence. It means a lot that Tony believe in him like that. 

They've reached the trees and Tony stops him with a hand on his arm. It must be years of conditioning because Steve's heart leaps at the contact. 

"Why don't we make sure you can shoot in the vicinity of where you aim, for starters?" Tony teases. "I'm thinking that log would do."

There is indeed a fallen tree, several paces away, and that seems an easy challenge. 

"Okay, sure."

Steve doesn't have the best spatial awareness, but he has seen Bucky practice enough that he knows how to stand. Mostly. He's way more nervous than he should be firing at a dead tree, mostly because he has Tony's full attention for the first time in a week. He tries to fire, but it doesn't work. Mortified, he takes off the safety and hope it wasn't too obvious. Steve aims again, and does hit the log in the vicinity of the barkless-spot he was going for, but is surprised by the recoil.

"You've got to hold it a bit firmer," Tony says. "Brace for the kick."

"Okay."

Shot two and three are okay-ish, but it's not as easy as everyone he knows make it seem.

"Good," Tony says. "Why don't you try for that branch that sticks up?"

Unfortunately, Steve misses it not only once, but three times. Every time he gets more anxious, and frustrated, and his pride is getting hurt. "Dammit!" he grumbles on the fourth missed try.

"One a scale of one to bite my head off, how receptive to suggestions are you right now?" Tony asks.

The not-quite-teasing (every one of his friends is aware that Steve gets pretty competitive) makes him laugh. 

"Please suggest. I am terrible."

Tony tuts and comes closer. "Nah, not so bad. You've never practiced. You should hold your arm higher, it makes it easier to align the front and rear sights."

As if he's reenacting the very fantasy Steve had on the plane when he was gifted the gun, Tony stands at his back and raises Steve's arm. It's not a full body contact, Steve might lose his mind if that happened, but enough to be incredibly distracting. 

"See, like this. Close your left eye as you've been doing. Make sure you're braced, that's good. Now take your time aiming, aligning the sights." Tony's looking over his shoulder, and his breath is tickling his ear which gives Steve goosebumps all over his nape and arms. "Fire when you're ready."

He's trying, very hard, to focus on the branch and making sure he's aiming correctly. But it's Tony that he's most aware of. He can smell his cologne, the heat of him and his traitorous body is reacting, heart beating wildly and arousal building. He should be able to contain this, heck he's had sex that very morning! A bit out of desperation, he pulls the trigger and the noise and recoil - that does, for a moment, make him lean back against Tony - are a welcome distraction. Especially when the branch breaks.

"Yes!"

"Good job!" Tony says, stepping back. Immediately Steve misses the contact and guilt spread in his stomach because of it. God, he's a terrible boyfriend to Bucky. "The other one now. To the right?"

"Yes, okay." He faithfully re-does the steps and is delighted when it's another hit.

"Attaboy!" Tony is grinning, looking so proud of him. 

The emotions are heady, and Steve's resulting thought is that Tony should always smile like that, and be happy. That it's one of the things that Steve wants the most in the world. He knows, with certainty, that he'll always wish for that. He loves Bucky, for real, but he's in love with Tony too. There's only one conclusion to reach: he's one greedy, greedy man because he doesn't want to give either of them up. Not that he has Tony, and it's possible that he totally missed his chance on that one, but Steve can't imagine not having him in his life. Not loving him anymore. 

Tearing his eyes away from Tony's face, Steve aims at the log again with the last bullet in his modified clip and takes a deep breath. 

Slow and steady. He can do it.

Then he'll have some soul-searching to do. 

**

The last two days have hammered the point home to Steve that he's right in the middle a war. He was aware that it was terrible, had of course seen some images and heard stories, but back in the United States and even in the days in England he'd been sheltered from the gritty side of it. There are no delusions anymore, not with the destroyed roads and torched houses they've seen. They have crossed path with men, women and kids surviving in spite of everything, and inspiring resistance fighters, but they've also seen too many people with empty eyes. Steve had been sick the first time he'd came across a mangled body, abandoned in a ditch. Death still makes him want to hurl even after seeing dozens more, soldiers and civilians alike. In a way, he hopes that the feeling doesn't go away, he doesn't want to become jaded to this horror and suffering. 

Bucky has withdrawn to mostly silent and hypervigilant, and sticks to Steve's side like glue, holding him even tighter when they allow themselves to take comfort in each other. Rhodes and Tony usually lead the way when they walk as a group, Pepper in the middle them. To the exterior eye it must seems as if they are protecting the woman in their group the best they can - which of course they are, in a way - but Steve has come to realize that she's probably the strongest of them all. She keeps her cool even when situations become tense and has a 'look at me go' attitude that Steve relates to immensely. 

They had to leave their vehicle when they entered the town they're crossing now, the roads being impracticable. They each carry their belongings in backpacks and weave between craters in the middle of the streets resulting from bombing or mortar - or both. The town is absolutely silent, which is eerie in a way that makes the hair on Steve's arms stand on end. It's a small town, but every doors and shutters are closed and the streets are deserted. Steve hasn't spotted a single soul since they left the car, nor even a dog. The only sound is the soles of their boots scrunching on the rubbles as they advance on the main street. Once they've crossed the town, hopefully back on a decent road, the plan is to find another vehicle to travel the rest of the way to Blitzen. 

They've been walking for a good twenty minutes when Tony strays to the right-hand side of the street after raising hand for a halt, Rhodes having to tie up the laces on his right boot. What caught Tony's eye is a faucet, that spits out water as soon as Tony turns the handle. It makes Steve realize how parched his throat is, and he has almost crossed the street to go fill up his own canteen when there's a zipping sound and a thunk followed by puff of sand in the debris to his left. 

"Take cover!" Bucky shouts in alarm and it's when a bullet ricochets on a road sign next to his head that Steve realizes he's being shot at.

Adrenaline immediately kicks in and his first thought is that since they are aiming at him, he has to draw fire away from his friends. Steve starts running up the street, and then dives behind a destroyed stone wall that circles the terrace of what must be a Café in better days. Fortunately he managed not to get shot, and for now the bullets ping on the stone protecting him without being too much of a risk.

"I'm fine!" he has the reflex to shout. He knows the others, they are stupid enough to try to come and get him.

"Don't move!" Bucky again, then, "Tony, goddamnit, stay put too!"

What the hell is Tony doing now? Steve scrambles to his knees and rapidly peeks over the wall, trying to get a sense of what is happening. Him and Tony are two houses apart, on one side of the street while Rhodes, Bucky and Pepper are glued to the wall on the other side, under an archway that makes them safe from whoever is firing at them. When he looks up, Steve sees the end of a rifle poking from a side window at the top of the building. Steve's shelter is sturdy, but Tony only has a couple of stacked tables to hide behind, and he's now the target of the shooter which makes Steve's heart leap in his throat. There seems to be only one threat, but since he has the higher position, they are extremely vulnerable. Case in point when the rifle's end turns to him and Steve only has time to duck that another bullet hits right where his head was a second ago.

"Steve!" Tony cries out.

"Still fine," he yells back. "Stay hidden!"

He crawls to his right, closer to the end of the wall, hoping he'll be able to see without popping up his head like a gopher again. The view is partially obstructed, which is frustrating, but he sees Bucky hurrying down the street away from them, crouched and staying close to the safe side. It's impossible for him to take a shot at the gunner, and it's clear that he's moving out to find an angle. Which means Bucky will cross the street and put himself in danger, too. Fuck. Steve sees that Tony has spotted Bucky, too, but instead of staying put he's extending a leg, pushing a chair away from his little cluster of tables. The retaliation is immediate, bullets hitting the chair before it has stopped moving. Steve wants to tear his hair out: Tony's going to get killed if he continues like that. He knows what Tony is trying to do: keep the shooter engaged on him, so he doesn't notice Bucky. Since there's so little cover where Tony is, Steve has to do something too. 

He takes out his gun from the holster at his belt, tries to aim at the window, but he isn't positioned right. He'll have to crawl out more, which is dangerous but at least it will give Tony a chance to find a better shelter. It's impossible to aim precisely, he has to eyeball it which isn't ideal, but Steve fires up and is rewarded by the sound of glass breaking.

"Get out of there Tony!" he yells, emboldened to see the muzzle of the enemy's rifle being pulled into the building. Hoping it's enough, Steve fires three other shots that should give Tony the time he needs.

It's a relief when Tony does leap out from behind the overturned tables and runs to the entryway where Rhodes and Pepper are huddled. It's less fortunate that Steve's now the only passable target, which becomes clear once he's out of bullets and the enemy starts shooting at him again.

"Get back behind the wall!" Tony shouts. 

If he does go back in his hole, it's Bucky that will be in danger. He surely needs a little more time. To prevent the shooter's attention from straying, he cries out.

"You can't even aim right, you piece of shit!" Unfortunately the next shots are a bit close for comfort, and he even gets dust in the face and hides his head under his arm for a couple of seconds. Turns out he's fine, so he calls out again. "Zum Teufel!" The number of German insults Steve knows are limited, but this one applies to the situation.

It seems to serve as a great motivator for their shooter because the next bullet actually touches him. Only a graze on his right shoulder, as far as he can parse, but it stings and immediately starts to burn.

"Steve!" It's Tony again, sounding panicked. 

Another shot rings, from down the street. Bucky, Steve realizes. He stays huddled, while trying at the same time to crawl back behind the wall; he cannot be certain that Bucky got the shooter. A moment later there's a thumping noise and Pepper lets out a little yelp of surprise. 

"Steve!" By the sound of it, Tony's immediately running across the street to him, while Rhodes curses.

"Tony, dammit!"

Steve looks up as Tony slides to his knees by his side; he looks terrified. 

"Shit, he got you, are you okay?" Tony asks, immediately reaching for his shoulder.

"I'm fine, it's nothing." 

Bucky is walking over too; he's doing so with a confident and purposeful gait while still holding his rifle held across his chest, and he looks murderous. It's probably not the time to find him hot as hell. 

He scrambles up, Tony helping with support even though Steve's barely hurt. Only then he sees that the German soldier got a bullet to the head and toppled down on the street, in what must have been a very dramatic fashion. The soldier's leg is splinted and bandaged, which suggests he probably stayed behind because traveling would have been too difficult. Not that he's going to travel anymore. 

"Thanks, Buck!" Steve says with a smile. 

That doesn't mollify Bucky one bit. When at Steve's and Tony's side, he slings his rifle on his back and pulls Steve closer to inspect his shoulder, too, without saying a word at first.

"I'm alright," Steve says, softly.

Bucky catches his eyes and all but sneers. "You're a goddamn idiot, that's what you are!" It would sting, but Steve knows Bucky enough that he can see it's the fear talking, nothing else. "Not staying behind that wall? Engaging a guy with a rifle in an upper position with a pistol? Fucking goading him on top?"

"Hey, he was only-" Tony starts but is immediately interrupted.

"Oh you, shut the hell up," Bucky says, getting in Tony's face too. "You're even worse. You're supposed to have experience. What is hard in staying covered, huh? You crossed the fucking street before we knew if that guy was alone! Jesus fuck! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Steve gets queasy thinking about it. If a second German soldier had been up there, ready to take the gun from his friend, Tony would have gotten killed. Tony opens his mouth to reply but immediately closes it, unable to defend himself. 

Bucky huffs again. "Yeah, that's what I thought. You two are reckless assholes. You deserve each other, and the Good Lord is testing me." 

He follows that accusation by pulling on Steve's arm, on the uninjured side, only to propel him towards Pepper and Rhodes. "You two I like. I'd bandage that myself so he doesn't catch a bug and lose his fucking arm, but I'm too pissed off, so."

"It's fine, we've got him," Pepper says, looking sympathetic to Bucky. It's quite unfair, in Steve's opinion, since Tony and him only did what had to be done to protect and care for their group.

Bucky nods his thanks. "Good. I'll go up there to check the Kraut's supplies. Be back in five."

They all watch Bucky go, keeping silent after the outburst. Okay, so he was definitely shaken, and Steve admits that it must have looked bad and wouldn't have liked seeing it go down himself. By the looks of it, he's going to have to make amends to Bucky later. 

He's distracted by Rhodes coming to Tony and outright slapping him behind the head. "Jesus, Tones, what the hell was that?"

"Ow! Abuse!" Tony protest, only to receives his own dress down by a friend called James. 

Seems like that kind of day. At least no one got hurt seriously, and Steve will still chalk it as a good one.

**

They've stopped near a little lake, Tony saying they deserved a break. Pepper had immediately laid down in the shade of a tree for a nap while Tony and Rhodes stripped to their undergarments and went for a swim. Steve doesn't want to get his bandage wet, so he's sitting on a rock in the shallow water, that allows him to keep it to mid-chest and remain near the bank where Bucky is standing guard. Tony had argued they surely would be fine for a couple of minutes, the place being deserted, but it didn't work. Part of it is that Buck's still a little on edge about what happened the day before, but Steve knows he's also never liked swimming. It's still precious moments of pure calm and peace, the sun pleasantly warm on Steve's skin, and he smiles when he hears Bucky perch on the rock right behind him. 

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Bucky says. "I walked around a bit, didn't see anyone."

"Good."

There's a splashing sound and Tony laughs.

"Oh you didn't just do that."

Steve looks over to see water dripping down Rhodes' outraged face.

"Ooops?" Tony says, grinning, and suddenly it's on, the two of them splashing water and trying to dunk each other.

Steve catches himself watching Tony almost exclusively, riveted by how beautiful he is. Then Bucky shifts behind him, reminding him he's a loving relationship, and Steve looks away, feeling terrible. 

"It's okay," Bucky says, because of course he's noticed.

"I'm sorry," Steve says anyway.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. Heck, like me you didn't go blind when we got together."

"No, but..." he wants to express the guilt about how he would be able to deal with only physical attraction, but that the problem is that it's way more than that.

"He's beautiful. Look at him Stevie."

It hard to refuse, and his stomach twists when Tony laughs after a particularly well aimed wave at Rhodes' face. Beautiful isn't even good enough for what Tony is to him. Too reductive. 

"I'm so goddamn lucky, you know?" Bucky says, and Steve turns to him in surprise, wondering what it has to do with Tony being attractive.

Bucky inclines his head towards Tony. "That guy has looks. Charisma off the roof. He's got a business and is filthy rich. But he'd give all of that up, absolutely everything, only to be me for a bit." Bucky meets Steve's gaze, blue-gray eyes intense. "To have you."

Steve gapes a little, a flush rising on his cheeks. "Come on-"

"You still don't get it, huh? Did you hear him yesterday? See him hurry to your side?"

"Okay, so he cares," Steve admits, though it's still hard to reconcile with romantic intent. "But I'm with you."

Bucky smiles, happiness clear in his eyes. "Yeah. And we're great. I love you Steve."

"I love you too."

"And that's always going to be true. Even if Tony's in love with you, too, and you love him back."

Steve wants to protest, but it's true, he's even admitted it to Bucky on their first night. He might be torn about this, but he won't lie.

"I wish it would go away already." 

Bucky rears back, looking shocked. "What? No!"

"But-"

"I told you, I don't mind." He looks so sincere too.

"I feel so guilty," Steve admits, looking down. "You're wonderful. I've loved you for ten years. More than that. It should be enough to-" Stop his eyes from straying, at the very least.

"Says who?" Bucky asks. "Society? Church? I'm sorry to tell you Stevie, but we're already not fitting the mold."

That is true. Steve turns around and glances towards Tony again. Everyone would find him beautiful. Bucky does too after all. _Steve_ probably should feet threatened by the fact that the man he loves enjoys looking at other men. But he gets it. Because it's Tony, and Bucky was interested in him before they got together too. He doesn't fault Bucky for that, so maybe Steve shouldn't beat himself up too bad for the same offense. 

"He's very hard to ignore," Steve admits.

"You know what's distracting?" Bucky asks.

"His ass?"

Bucky barks a laugh. "True. But I wasn't talking about that, but about the contrast between you two. You'd be stunning together."

Steve's mind screeches to a halt, and he turns to Bucky again, stunned. "What?"

Unapologetically, Bucky shrugs. His eyes are intense, half smile firmly in place. "Hey, just calling it as I see it."

After opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish several times, Steve finds his voice again. "It turns you on. The idea of him and me."

"Yeah. Do you mind?" It's only because Steve knows Bucky extremely well that he detects nervousness in his expression.

"I-." He has to pause. 

One one hand, there's a little voice that wants to say 'of course you're not enough to hold Bucky's full attention and already ten days into a relationship he's thinking about someone else'. It's not a nice thought, and he's self-aware enough to understand that it comes from carrying a lifetime of insecurities about how he looks. But this is _Bucky_. He knows that the last thing Bucky would want to do is to hurt him, to make him feel like he's not enough. 

So putting all his self-worth issues aside, as much as he can, he's left reeling with a spike of arousal at the idea of Bucky watching Tony and him making love. Enjoying it, and maybe even joining them. And jeez, the flash of that particular fantasy, imagining being with both Tony and Bucky at the same time, it hits him like a sledgehammer between the eyes.

A slow wicked grin spreads on Bucky's face. "Your eyes glazed over, Love."

"Jesus." Steve's cheeks must be tomato red, and he worriedly looks down and is relieved that the water hides the situation he's now dealing with down south. 

"You like the idea of me watching?" Bucky asks. "I would love that. His hand on you, making you feel good. I bet he's great in bed."

"Buck, come on," Steve whines. "You can't say things like that!"

"Why not? You like it, no?"

"A little too much," Steve grumbles.

"Then do something about it." 

Steve turns to look at him again, eyes wide. Is Bucky saying what he thinks he's saying? "What?"

"I'm offering two solutions, here, see how considerate I am." Bucky's smile is totally wicked. "I pretend to go for another perimeter patrol, and you get out of the water in two minutes, meet me a bit further and I take care of your little problem for you."

God, the idea of it, of getting touched when he's so riled up, it makes his head spin. Steve's voice is a little hoarse when he manages to reply. "And what is solution number two?"

"You stay right where you are, eyes on Tony, and get yourself off while I tell you about a couple of thoughts I had."

"Christ," Steve swears. "Broad daylight, Buck. He's _right there_!" A hundred feet, max. 

Bucky hums. "Yeah. Exactly."

It's totally insane, and he should be dismissing the idea outright. Tony is still playing with Rhodes, completely oblivious about being leered at and used as fantasy fodder. Heck, Pepper is even closer to him, though thankfully still asleep. He hopes so. But the fear that Steve could get caught if he goes on with Bucky's crazy plan is exactly what makes the idea so compelling.

"This is such a bad idea," Steve says, while knowing he has given in. 

His crazy boyfriend knows it too. "No one's gonna know but me," he says, sounding smug. "They think you're this little precious angel-"

Steve snorts-laughs. "No they don't!"

"Oh, they are aware that you're more stubborn than a mule, because they're not stupid, but clearly they think I'm the enabler in this relationship."

"You so are," Steve says. This, right here, is definite proof.

"Sometimes," Bucky admits. "But not always. And not right now." Like hell! He wants to protest but Bucky continues. "You've been eating up Tony with your eyes as soon as he stripped. Not that I blame you, he's beautiful, for sure. No one would think a billionaire has got arms like that."

"Shoulders," Steve says, finally getting a hand in his small clothes and closing his fingers around his cock. He almost hisses at the spike of pleasure, he's so damn hard right now.

"Yeah, agreed. Look at his back, too. You'd like to touch him there?"

"I'd like to touch him everywhere," Steve confesses. All of those lean muscles, the curve of his spine, that amazing ass. 

He can't move his hand fast, too afraid to make the motion obvious, but he gives his dick a couple of strokes, building up the pleasure. It won't take him much, he's very riled up. 

"And what about those clever hands, huh? Bet they'd be great around your cock."

Steve thinks he does a sound that's only consonants at the image. "Would you touch me, too?"

While being in a fantasy, why not go all out, right?

"You little minx," Bucky says fondly. "You bet I could touch you too. We'd make you feel so good, Baby."

He has absolutely no doubt about that. 

"I wouldn't want it to be just about me," Steve muses. In theory being the focus of so much attention would be great, but he's picturing Bucky and Tony together and the resulting images are insanely hot. "You said, earlier, how he'd be good. He'd know what he's doing."

Steve has very little sexual experience, only had done a bit of groping with Molly a year ago, the only girl who he's ever went on more than one date with. She was sweet, and he liked her, but eventually she apologized for not being honest, that she liked him a lot but was still in love with her ex-boyfriend, whom she was going back to. He's been exploring having actual sex with Bucky in the last ten days, graduating from hand jobs to blowjobs and pretty fantastic rutting against each other. He loves everything they've done, knows they'll eventually go all the way, and Bucky's good, he's great and patient with him, but Tony, Tony could easily take Bucky apart. Show Steve how it's done.

"Him and me, you'd like that?" 

"Don't sound so surprised, you'd be insanely hot together. I'd be lucky to watch."

Bucky makes an appreciative humming sound. "Sounds nice. What would you like best, seeing me sucking him, or the other way around?"

Images flip behind Steve's eyes and he reflexively squeezes his cock, barely reining in a moan. "Both. Both is good."

"Never tried a sixty-nine, but I like how your brain works," Bucky says. It wasn't even what Steve had thought about, but he sure does _now_! And he's pretty sure he whimpers.

"Oh, God, I'm so close." Steve wants to jerk off fast and hard, but he can't, because if Tony, Rhodes or Pepper glance over, he'll be mortified. So he goes slow, and tries to do with squeezing his length more than moving, concentrates on the head where it's extra sensitive, and he's almost there. 

"Come on Baby, let go," Bucky cajoles. 

I'm trying, he wants to say. His orgasm is looming, slightly out of reach.

"What would Tony do if he knew you're rubbing one out thinking of him?"

That's a very good question that Steve has no answer for. Would be surprised? Probably. But would he like it? It's a gamble. He was flirting with Bucky, from the moment they met until that day. Seems that Tony likes Steve too, by some sort of miracle. But being the focus of naughty fantasies? He's pretty sure Tony would be flattered, if anything. He'd smirk, make a joke of it. Use the playboy persona Steve hates so much and leer right back. Hopefully the smiles would actually reach his eyes.

He's still hovering right on the edge of release when Tony actually _looks his way_. He's in the middle of laughing but his eyes skid Steve's way, as he's checking if he's still close, and the smile seems to be especially for him. Steve freezes in shock and simultaneously experiments a dose of adrenaline that actually does the trick; he's coming, blindsided by the intensity of it and all but choking in the process with the effort he makes to restrain his body language as much as possible. 

"Holy shit," Bucky whispers, and God, this is either one of the hottest thing that has ever happened to Steve or the most mortifying.

"You should get in the shade, Steve," Tony shouts from his side of the lake. "Looking a little red there!"

Yeah, let's chalk it up for most mortifying, especially when Bucky starts sniggering.

"Not funny!" Steve hisses between his teeth while trying to smile naturally at Tony in return, making the 'all okay' signal. All the while he's wishing that a hole would appear at the bottom of the lake - or under his feet, he's not picky - that would drain all of it like a sink and bring him with it.

"I'm sorry, sorry, it's..." Bucky actually giggles, for God's sake. "I'm sorry Steve, but you've got to admit it's kinda funny!"

It's so not, and Steve is almost dying of shame here. "Go away!" he says, splashing water at Bucky with the hand that had been busy before but now clean, water obliges. The only redeeming thing about what just happened is that there's no evidence remaining. And yes, he can admit, the sheer strength of the orgasm he's experienced has him tingling all over, even minutes after the fact and in spite of the humiliation.

"Hey, no, not cool," Bucky says, springing up. He's holding his rifle near his crotch and Steve sees that Bucky definitely enjoyed the teasing from before. It's another thrill in itself, and Steve would have offered to help, before the laughing.

"Problem in your pants, Darling?" Steve asks faux-sweetly, making sure it's not loud enough to reach their companions. 

"You betcha," Buck says with a wink and a grin. "Which I have to go take care of, now. Later!"

He almost skips away and Steve throws more water at him because he can. And splashes some on his face because he's convinced that his cheeks are still beet red. If it wasn't from the bandage on his shoulder, Steve would sink under the water for a while, and pretend he lives in a world where he didn't come while in direct eye contact with one man, while urged on by his boyfriend to make him star in a threesome. 

Frankly, when he begged to be part of this mission, Steve had in mind a very different type of action.

**

Everything is mostly fine, the mission progressing smoothly, until it's not. The afternoon was complete hell, and Steve's hands are still shaking an hour after they manage to regroup and find a safe place to sleep. He wishes he could calm down, but it's too much: Tony had almost died, right in front of their eyes. Steve illustrated perilous situations dozens of times for Marvel Magazine, heard about a hundred more, but it was never as concrete as watching Tony being brought to his knees with a gun on his nape by German soldiers. For a second, Steve had been sure that it was the moment where Tony Stark would finally fail at cheating death. Steve had thought his heart had stopped when there was a gunshot, and he's not sure if it's pure relief or righteous fury that is holding him together even now. 

It isn't clear who fired at the ammunition that was stockpiled in the alley where the Germans were to execute Tony. Not Bucky, who had cursed a blue streak by his side, and who was pissed even before it happened that he had no safe line of sight. As for Rhodes and Pepper, they'd been too busy holding on to Steve, who'd wanted to go rescue Tony, even though it seemed hopeless. But whoever had fired, they owed him or her a lot. The bullet had pinged near the soldiers and caused a small explosion, the perfect distraction for Tony to disarm one of his captor and kill him while Bucky took care of the other soldier. Rhodes had laid coverage fire as they got Tony and retreated, hurrying as far away from the outpost as possible. 

The roller coaster of emotions, combined with actual running, has left Steve in between jittery and exhausted. He needs to calm down, is perfectly aware he should not start yelling when feelings are so high, but he can't stay silent either. Steve stomps to Tony's side, who is laying down on a cot, an arm thrown over his face.

"What the fuck?"

"Oh, I've gone and messed up good if _you_ are cursing at me!" Tony drawls. He doesn't even meet his eyes, stays hidden under his elbow in a totally dismissive gesture.

"Oh, you've messed up good alright!" Steve says, taking the bait because all he wants is an excuse to shake Tony silly. "What the hell were you thinking, taking off by yourself like that?"

Well that works to make Tony react; he springs to his feet and glares right back. "I heard them say 'Zemo'. I had to-" Tony stops his tirade suddenly, and completely shuts down his expression, reigning in the emotions until his face is blank. "You know what? I don't have to justify my actions to you." 

The sudden shutting down is jarring enough to make Steve pause, but before he tries following Tony - who clearly decided he wanted to be anywhere but here at the moment - a hand catches his arm.

"Let him have a minute," Pepper says. "Yelling won't do any good when he's like this."

"He can't do shit like that, Pepper!" Steve says. 

One minute Tony had been with them as they were carefully making way to pass near a German outpost, and suddenly he was gone. They hadn't known where he went, with whom or why, and frankly Steve had been on the verge of hyperventilating even before they finally found Tony a trigger-pull away from certain death.

"I know."

"He takes chances, but it's not like him to suddenly go off without a word to follow someone who said-" Steve pauses and then curses. 

Zemo. It's from about four years ago but Steve remembers the shock of reading in Marvel Magazine that Tony's father had been alive, but brainwashed and molded into a character named Zemo. Worked with the Nazis and had tried to kill Tony. Forced Tony to kill _him_ , which was such pit of trauma. 

"Yeah, Zemo was too much of a lure," Pepper agrees. "Plus Tony's been, well, adrift. I'm not surprised he jumped into the first distraction he could justify."

Steve frowns; Tony had seem totally normal to him. "Really? Why?"

The question earns him a raised eyebrow from Pepper as if he she can't believe he has to ask. "Come on, Steve. We're all glad you're happy, for real. It's pretty cute to see how gone you and Bucky are. But that's half the problem when it comes to Tony, and you'll have to give him time."

"But-" Tony had said he was happy for them, too. He'd acted cheerful enough, after the initial awkwardness. Steve should have known it was partly a front, Tony had always been a good actor when motivated to hide his weaknesses.

"Tony always bounces back," Pepper says, patting Steve's arm lightly. "Jim and I will look out for him, no worries."

"Yeah, of course," Steve says with a sigh. "Thanks Pepper."

"No problem," she says.

Steve watches her set up her cot for the night and glances at the door Tony left through. He wants to go find him, make sure he's alright and didn't suddenly decide to do something on his own again. But he already knows that Tony is not alright, and Steve's a factor in that even though unwillingly. He sits down where Tony was lying down before and takes his head in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. This is so fucked up. The universe sure has a terrible mean streak, giving him a relationship he's wanted for years while hurting someone he loves in the process.

The thin mattress dips on his right side, and after a moment Bucky nudges his shoulder with his own. "Hey."

"Hey."

"How are you holding up?"

It makes Steve huff sardonically. "Not so great."

"How he deals is not on you, Steve." Bucky leans into him a bit more and Steve takes comfort in that.

"I feel bad anyway," Steve admits.

"Yeah." There's a long pause before Bucky speaks again. "I want you to be happy."

And there it is again, the guilt. Not only he makes Tony unhappy, he's making Bucky feel inadequate. He grabs his hands and turns to look at him in the eyes. "I am happy. This... I never dreamed I could have you."

Bucky's smile is sweet as he squeezes his hand back. "You always had me, doofus."

"Same."

"Maybe... maybe you could have him, too. And him have you."

Steve's heart speeds up at that, and he searches Bucky's face. He's serious, not leering. Definitely not only suggesting a fantasy but the involvement of feelings.

"Seriously?"

"Serious as a heart attack," he says with a little crooked smile and Steve rolls his eyes.

"Bad, bad pun." 

The idea to bring in Tony into their relationship is like hovering on top of a roller coaster: there's a potential for it to be the most thrilling ride of your life, but it could also leave you puking your guts out. 

"And what about you?" Steve asks, because he won't even consider it there's a slight hesitation.

"I wouldn't suggest it if I wasn't for it," he says. 

Would Bucky step back if he thought Tony would make Steve happier than him? Possible. That's not what Steve wants at all, and his suspicion must show on his face because Bucky squeezes his knee.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"You think it could work?"

Bucky shrugs. "Yeah. We could try."

It's true that the situation is pretty fucked up, anyway. If they were back in New York, the three of them wouldn't be forced in perpetual contact. It would give them the possibility of space to think things over, and a better chance for Tony to regroup while Bucky and Steve did their thing, found their bearings in their new relationship. But here, in the middle of a crazy mission and adrenaline-fueled extremes, they are living in each other's pocket, hyper aware of their feelings. Which is another problem all in itself.

"We're about two weeks from getting where Doctor Erskine is held," Steve says. "Wouldn't it be best to stay clear of distractions, instead of making things more complicated?"

They could sort it out after.

"It's already complicated," Bucky says. "I hate to be the kind of people that uses the 'you have to live everyday like it's the last one' line, but..." he trails off meaningfully.

"But you're saying exactly that."

Bucky huffs. "We're in a fucking war zone, Stevie. It _could_ be the last."

It almost was the end for Tony earlier.

"Okay," Steve says. He rubs his palms on his thighs and takes a shaky breath. "Okay, fine."

"Yeah?" It's a relief to hear how hopeful Bucky sounds.

A too-fast nod. God, this is terrifying. "I don't know how, but yes."

"Spend more time with Tony. Show him you're interested."

Frankly, this is a terrible idea. Not the hopeful ending they are aiming for, but relying on him to get there. "I'm crap at flirting."

Bucky chuckles. "You're terrible at it."

"Thanks," Steve says, dryly, but he can't help smiling too. "You can, on occasion, be smooth. Why won't you do the flirting?"

"Simple and you know it. He likes me well enough, but won't risk doing something with me if he thinks it might hurt you. You, on the other hand, he'll listen to."

Probable, but still terrifying. "Oh God."

"Do what feels right. Be clear about what you want." 

"Stop it, now it's getting weird," Steve teases, hitting shoulders with Bucky. "You sound like a relationship expert or some shit." He lets the silence stretch between them. Even though he made the decision to try this insane idea, he knows he won't start working on it today. Not after what happened, and the angry words earlier. "I'm going to need a couple of days."

"Sure, that's wise. You've got to be really sure."

God, the idea of getting Tony interested, if they are lucky, but then backing off later if he gets scared would be the cruelest thing in the world. "Of course."

Bucky stands up, offers a hand. "Come, let's get a bit of air before going to bed."

Steve lets himself be pulled upright. "Okay, sure."

Rhodes is directly outside the door, leaning on the side of the house, arms crossed over his chest. It's easy to guess that he's standing a silent vigil over Tony, who's a couple of feet away smoking a cigarette while sitting on the edge of the balcony. Steve hasn't seen him smoke for over a year and a half, so clearly Tony was shaken hard by what happened earlier if he decided to light up. Upon seeing them get out, Rhodes throws them a meaningful look. He's in full protective mode, which isn't surprising after Tony gets in danger and Steve wonders how he survived all of those years, following Tony in his adventures. Steve's heart probably would have stopped a long time ago. Bucky nods at Rhodes, whispers something in his ear and it must be reassuring enough because Rhode's shoulder relax and he nods before going in the house. Steve didn't hear, but he can infer well enough: 'Go rest. We've got him.'

It's true, but it doesn't mean that Steve knows what to do to make things better. He recognizes that yelling at Tony earlier was a bad move, but he'd been still so scared, it came out all wrong. Bucky closes a hand on Steve's nape for a moment and pushes him towards Tony. Right. He can't leave things like that between them. Taking a deep breath, he carefully walks closer to his friend. Whatever they might or might not become, they are at least that and he wants to be sure that Tony knows that Steve got mad because cares and nothing else. He expects getting a barb or two, being asked if he's there to curse again, but apart from a noticeable tensing up in Tony's posture, there's not a word. 

Once right behind him, Steve hesitates, finding no good way to speak up himself. After hovering for a minute, watching the rings of smoke Tony puffs out in the night, he decides he might not have to speak, after all. So he sits down on the balcony too, his back to Tony's and his arms around his bent knees, daring to scoot close enough so they touch, spine to spine. Steve's heart is beating fast, hoping he won't be told to scram, but after a minute Tony leans back into him, accepting the non-verbal apology. They stay quiet like that a little more and then Bucky walks over, and sits on the edge of the balcony too, right beside Tony.

"Got one for me?" 

Tony shifts against Steve's back, and in the corner of his eye he can see Tony and Bucky lean their heads towards each other to light another cigarette. 

"Thanks."

Neither ask if he wants one, they both know well enough that he doesn't have the stomach for it, smoke way too irritating for his lungs. In fact, it's not even good for him to stay this close to two smokers, but he knows they'll do their best to send the smoke away from his face. But apart from the smell, this, right now, is very good. Tony is reassuringly solid at Steve's back, and he leans his head backward until it rests against Tony, finally able to relax a little. He doesn't know how long they stay liked this. Enough for the cigarettes to burn out, and them to smoke another at least. The silence is fine with Steve, and he's surprised when Tony's the one to break it.

"Sorry I scared you."

He is tempted to ask Tony to never do something like that ever again, but Steve reigns it in.

"Thank God you're okay," he says instead. His voice is raw, and he hopes Tony can clearly hear how much he's relieved. 

It's a testament to the seriousness of the moment that Tony doesn't say his traditional 'I'm fine', and they lapse into silence again, taking comfort in being together and safe, for now.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve rapidly realizes that having come to the decision to welcome Tony in their intimacy doesn't mean that it is easy to act on it. First of all, Steve always has been abysmal at flirting, even more with people he is genuinely infatuated with. So the staring and fumbling his words when he gets close to Tony? It redoubles, he is so incredibly nervous. Will Tony actually want Steve if there is the condition that Bucky is part of the equation? Bucky and Tony used to flirt, there was definitely a mutual attraction, but if Tony really cares about Steve in the romantic sense, will he want to share? If Steve's flirting inaptitude wasn't enough, there is also the problem of being on a mission in the middle of a war zone; it isn't the best backdrop for a seduction, to say the least.

It's like going back in time a month or so, before the mission. Steve uses every excuse in the book to interact with Tony, seeking him for conversation, or hanging close and stealing glances. God, he is so beautiful: that part isn't hard at all. He wants so much to be suave, witty, coy if it comes to that, but he ends up looking like a fool. The one thing that changes is that Bucky is observing him too, an insufferable smirk on his face most of the time.

"I can't believe how bad you are at this. The guy is head over heels for you and somehow you can't even make him understand you like him too. God, you're hopeless," Bucky murmurs in Steve's ear two nights later, before peppering little kisses in the crook of his neck. They have a room, for once, and are totally taking every advantage of it, naked together like they rarely have the chance.

"Shut up," Steve grumbles, pulling Bucky's head closer in encouragement for the kisses at least. He _knows_ this and being teased about it doesn't help with his confidence.

Bucky chuckles, "I have no idea how you ever managed to get laid."

It's said with a roll of Bucky's hips and Steve gasps, shifting his grip to his boyfriend's ass instead. Much better. "Well, you did all the work, so there's that."

Steve doesn't understand why Bucky stopped moving and is pushing up to peer at his face, eyes round. "What?"

"You made the moves, it made it easier!" Steve wonders what is confusing about it.

"I was your first?"

Oh, so that's the hang up. Steve was sure that Bucky was aware of that.

"Yes! You've known me since we were tikes, when do you think I would have time to sleep with someone?"

"Oh, I don't know... in the last two years when I was in Europe?" Bucky looks genuinely conflicted about this. "Jesus Steve, you should have told me. We could have-"

Steve interrupts him with a kiss. "It was perfect," he declares. "I swear. I wouldn't change a thing." Well he'd change that it was immediately followed by Tony barging in, but he means it. 

Bucky finally relaxes, and resumes kissing Steve's neck. "Good."

"But seriously, it can't be just me, right? I mean... I'm bad but Tony should at least pick a clue?"

"True, he's being particularly obtuse. Rhodes and Pepper did notice after all."

They had indeed, and it didn't seem to please them at all. Every time Steve met their eyes after another failed attempt at flirting, he got frowns and mild glaring. In his estimate, he was really close to getting a 'friendly chat' from either or both of them.

"Do you think we should tell them?"

It makes Bucky huff. "Tell them what, that our intentions are semi-pure? That you're doing this out of love? I'm not sure they would understand or believe you."

That is disheartening. "And you think Tony will?"

"I think his heart will win over reason," Bucky says. He is moving slowly down Steve's body now, licking and kissing as he goes and it sent chills through his whole body.

"God, the mouth on you," Steve murmurs. "Maybe you should do the flirting."

"I won't lie, I'm this close," Bucky says, twirling his tongue in Steve's navel, which made him squirm at the tickling. "But I still think it would be best from you. Up your game, Steve. Ask for firing lessons again, get him alone, lay it thicker. I don't know, kiss him out of the blue."

"I'm sure that would be so smooth." He can see the disaster from here. Surely he'd head-butt Tony by accident or something.

"I never said smooth." Bucky is grinning, eyes crinkling at the corner and Steve can't even muster the will to be offended. Especially not with Bucky's mouth so close to his very interested dick. "But from you? I bet it would be endearing."

"Yeah yeah," Steve says, carding his fingers in Bucky's hair to pull it a little, satisfied when it makes him groan. "Suck my dick."

He meant it as an insult but it only makes Bucky smile wider. "Yes sir!"

Then his mouth is closing on the head of Steve's cock and for a few minutes after that all thoughts of Tony are completely gone.

**

Tony has both hands on his hips, but thankfully he looks more confused than annoyed at the fact that Steve is suddenly being a worse shot than usual. He'd been doing so much progress before.

Apparently. Because Steve _is_ getting better, but he's not aiming where he's supposed to on purpose at the moment. And is also deliberately messing up with his form, not extending his arms as he's been thought.

"I don't understand," Steve lies, faking getting annoyed at himself when he misses the can on the wall again.

"Relax. You have this Steve."

"Easy for you to say," Steve mumbles. "Is it my arms? I think it's my arms."

 _Finally_ Tony comes over. "In part, yeah." He pushes up on Steve's elbow and tries to make him get in the right position but immediately Steve messes with a shoulder instead. "No, just-"

As Steve hoped he would, Tony gets at his back to readjust everything. He's solid and strong against him and Steve's heart is beating so fast he's afraid he'll mess up, as always. There is a very small window of opportunity for Steve to make a tentative pass at Tony, and after a shallow breath in he leans back in Tony's almost embrace and looks up at him, hoping it is enticing and not ridiculous.

"Thank you, Tony. I really appreciate this." It's not hard to sound earnest, because he really does.

Tony smiles. "Not a problem." 

They are really close, which Steve _does_ appreciates a lot. But he cannot, for the life of him, find something to do or to say that would bring this a step further. Visibly he is completely hopeless, like everyone has ever said. Kissing Tony right now would probably come out of nowhere for the poor guy, so Steve cannot bring himself to do that either. He figures that all he has left are words, as bad as he is with them. He's been rehearsing a little speech in his head for days now, and it might be time to try it.

"I have a proposition for you," he blurts out.

That is _not_ what Steve had planned to open with, at all, and he flushes bright red.

Tony steps back, the loss of contact entirely unwanted, but he looks solicitous as he waits for Steve to speak up.

"What about?" Tony asks. "For the mission? Or for something else?" 

"No, no, not the mission." Steve dares to take Tony's hand, and brings him to the steps of the house they've been exploring before he asked for firing lessons. He makes them sit down but does not release Tony's hand. He's so fucking nervous, he's shaking with it.

"What's wrong?" Tony asks, squeezing his fingers and even putting his other hand on Steve's shoulder.

"Me, and, and, uh, Bucky-" Shit, it's like the words are stuck in his throat.

Tony looks worried now. "What happened? Did you fight? You seemed okay-"

"No no no!" Steve protests immediately. "No we're good, we're great-" Tony's relieved smile freezes a little and Steve stumbles over the rest because he's making a mess of this. "But we could be better? He said it would be alright, lots of time. And he made me think about it, and now I can't get it out of my head and I want, I really want it, I mean we want something-"

"Whoa whoa whoa, breathe" Tony interrupts, his brow furrowed in confusion. Steve was indeed saying all of that word vomit all in a row; he gulps in air even though his airways seem tight as if he's going to have an asthma attack. "Slowly, that's it," Tony encourages as he takes shaky breaths. Way to be sexy and suave, God, he's such a disaster. "That didn't make any sense, Buddy," Tony adds with affection, rubbing circles on his upper back. "What do you want?"

"You," Steve says, finally, but air is not getting in any easier to breathe so it doesn't come out as confident as he wishes. Much too wheezy. 

Tony frowns, still rubbing Steve's back. "Me? Oh, a proposition!" he says, face clearing up with understanding. He's smiling now, which is such a relief Steve wants to cry. "You want me to finance something? Sure, run your ideas by me, we'll see what we can do!"

Steve groans in frustration, letting his face fall into his open hands. "No! We don't want your money, Tony."

"Okay. But I wouldn't mind. You need me to help meet someone?"

It makes sense that Tony would reach that conclusion. A lot of people seem to want to hang around for either his fortune, his connections or his fame. That's been pissing off Steve for a while, in fact, so he's getting his composure back faster thinking about it. How dare they?

"No. You. Just you, for you. Because you're amazing."

"Me?" He _still_ isn't catching a clue, eyebrow raised in surprise.

"Yes." He's so close, that it seems reasonable at this point to make a demonstration. Steve is too shy to go for a kiss on the lips because he firmly believes Tony should give him permission for that, so he raises Tony's hand, still in his, and kisses his knuckles. "You."

It's clear when the meaning actually registers because Tony's blue eyes widen and he freezes. 

"Yeah," Steve says, heart beating a million times a minute. "Like that."

Fear he's fucked everything up seizes Steve when Tony slides _away_ several inches. He didn't yank his hand back, but Steve releases him anyway, and knows his face is falling in disappointment.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes immediately. "I thought-" He's been so presumptuous, thinking might want to give this weird thing a shot. "Of course you don't-"

"But what about Bucky?" Tony interrupts. He's raking his fingers through his hair, making it stand up. "You said you were great, I don't understand."

Steve dares to scoot a little closer and leans in to put a hand on Tony's knee, who looks at it with widened eyes as if it's going to bite. "We are. He knows I'm asking you this, in fact he's the one who suggested it in the first place."

Immediately Tony's posture relaxes, "Oh, Jesus, okay I get ya." He chuckles, shaking his head. "I completely misread that one, sorry." He looks up at Steve from under his lashes, flirty smirk now firmly in place and it's _devastating_ how sexy he is. "Well aren't you full of surprises."

A shiver goes down Steve's spine because it makes him feel as if he's going to get eaten alive. "Yeah?" he squeaks out. "You'd want that? Me? Us?"

"Sweetheart, there's nothing I want more," Tony says, closing the distance between them to put a firm hand on Steve's nape and bring him into a kiss. It's hot and slick from the get go, Tony devouring his mouth in a way that steals the air from Steve's lungs again. He's pretty sure he's seeing stars when Tony breaks the kiss.

"Oh wow," Steve says, and groans when Tony starts to mouth at his jaw, going near his ear. He was convinced it would be good, but Jesus.

"And what about your pretty James, huh?" Tony all but purrs. "Does he get off on watching, or?"

It's like being hit in the gut by lust, thinking of the possibilities. 

"He'd- he'd like that, said so," Steve says. His hands are gripping the front of Tony's shirt tightly because he's afraid he might melt down the steps in a puddle. "But he'd like to, you know, join?"

Tony's chuckle is one of the sexiest sound he's ever heard. "Really? Even better."

"Yeah?" Steve is so very happy right now, heart bursting with warmth and giddiness. Oh, God, he doesn't have to give up anyone. He gets both of these amazing men, how can he be this lucky?

"You betcha, Baby," Tony says. "So, when?" he asks, grazing teeth on Steve's collarbone in a way that makes his eyes cross. 

"We need, we need to tell him. That's it's alright. Soon. Like now."

"Sure," Tony says, before kissing Steve deeply again. "It's going to be great, you'll see."

"It will." 

It's going to be _amazing_.

Steve is going to get up and go tell Bucky in a second. After one last kiss. 

***

It is hours later and even though their kissing got cut short when they needed to run for their lives, the town being subjected to inopportune bombing, Steve cannot stop thinking about it. Oh, God, he kissed Tony Stark. Who wants him back, and with Bucky too. Thankfully they all escaped the air raids, and after a couple of hours of high stress and close calls, they might have found a safe space to stay for the night. Their best guess is that the place might have been used as a depot at one time, but it's empty now, which suits them very well. They slipped through a hole in the wall, and while the ground level is dank and kind of disgusting, they find on the second floor a series of what must have been offices that aren't that bad. No power or running water, but it's relatively dry space and most importantly deserted. 

"We've been making good progress," Pepper says, bent over her map. "I think we might make it to Blitzen in a week now."

"Sounds good," Tony says. He's sitting by Rhodes' side, on the other side of the little room they regrouped in, leaning into the wall in a nonchalant sprawl. He's been quiet, since they arrived, but he keeps _looking_ at Steve and Bucky every few seconds. It is smoldering and intense and such a promise that it makes Steve's stomach flip every time their eyes meet.

"Okay then," Bucky murmurs at one point. "Jesus Fuck, when he gets it, he gets it."

Steve wants to laugh out loud, he's bubbling with anticipation.

"Yeah." He bumps shoulders with Bucky. "Still okay with it? Because I can call it off if you're not sure."

"Oh hell no, I'm all in," Bucky says.

As they do every night where they manage to find a hideout that allows for more intimate settings, Bucky and Steve set up their sleeping rolls and blankets in different room from the others. There is a small office with an actual door down the corridor, and it takes all of Steve's will to wait a reasonable amount of time to at least pretend plausible deniability that everyone else is asleep before pawing at Bucky's clothes.

"Well someone's horny!" Bucky teases, helping to take his shirt off while Steve is tugging insistently on a sleeve.

It makes Steve slow down, kissing him in apology. "Sorry, sorry."

"Nah," Bucky dismisses, and once free of his shirt he attacks Steve's button to reciprocate. "It's fine, I get it." 

Steve sure hope Bucky gets that his enthusiasm isn't because he was bored with him, or unhappy at what they have, but that he's overjoyed at the idea of Tony joining them. Not just him, them. He's distracted by the kissing and the always fantastic glide of skin on skin when there's a small rasp at the door that make them freeze.

"It's me." Tony, of course. 

Heart beating triple time, Steve turns to Bucky who makes a face and mouths "go!". He scrambles up and unlocks the door, unable to make a sound as he looks at Tony who is right there, hand on the door frame, watching him back. More than that, Tony slowly takes him in, eyes trailing first on his flushed face and then his bare torso, before meeting his eyes again. 

"It kinds of looks like I'm late," he says, before his sly smile dims into being curious. "Unless you changed your mind?"

This, Steve knows, is the last chance to change his mind with the minimum of damage done to their friendship. It would lead to awkwardness for a while, but they could get over it. If Tony walks through this doorstep, the game changes totally. The thing is that Steve _has_ made up his mind. He wants this. But did Tony really think about it? It was pretty sudden for him after all.

"We didn't," Steve says, at last showing a bit of confidence. "Did you? Change your mind?"

He doesn't know if he imagines the hesitation, but it takes a fraction of a second for Tony to smile again. "No I didn't." He reaches out and cups the side of Steve's face, thumb caressing his cheekbone. The touch is electric and Steve instinctively leans into it, turning Tony's smile softer. "I want it. I want you."

The swell of emotions is overwhelming, but he has to be sure. Tony must come into this knowing it's not just Steve, it's Bucky too. "Both of us?"

"That's no hardship at all," Tony says with a smile that is swinging back to predatory. 

"Okay." Gut full of butterflies, because they are really doing this, Steve offers his hand. When Tony grabs and squeezes lightly, Steve pulls him into the room, and closes the door behind him. There's a flimsy lock that he engages, to be sure to avoid accidental exhibitionism in case Rhodes or Pepper come over. Extremely unlikely, but they can't be too careful, Steve learned that the hard way in London. Though thinking about it, if Tony hadn't barged in then, they probably wouldn't be where they are at now.

Bucky hadn't moved from their bedding where Steve left him, but when the door closes he gracefully gets to his feet - something Steve envies, really, he doesn't have that balance - and comes to them. 

For the first time, Tony looks a bit nervous and asks Bucky, "Are _you_ sur-"

He can't finish his question because Bucky has walked right up to Tony to take his face in his hands and brings him into a kiss. For a second Tony freezes, but soon his hands drop to Bucky's hips, he angles his head and kisses back. It is, frankly, one of the hottest thing that Steve has ever seen. They are amazingly beautiful together, and that kiss is scorching, deep and wet and Steve is a bit embarrassed that he's the one that ends up making a needy sound witnessing it. Bucky leans back, breaking the kiss but his eyes remain on Tony alone.

"Does that answer your question?" he asks, voice rough.

"Yeah, okay," Tony says, slightly flushed and visibly aroused. "Goddamn."

"C'mere Stevie," Bucky says, extending a hand until he takes it. 

Steve is tugged closer, and stumbles into Bucky, who catches him around the waist and bends down to kiss him, too. It's as thorough as the one he shared with Tony, and Steve is panting when they break for air. Immediately there are fingers on his chin turning him to Tony, who kisses him too, just as lewdly. This time, when he's let go, Steve's head is swimming and he is a little dizzy. Shit, he might not survive this if he's that worked up by a few kisses. 

"You okay Baby?" Bucky asks, caressing the side of his face. Both Tony and Bucky are focused on him and it's... he grins, so happy.

"I'm great. Wow."

"We're going to rock your world, Sweetheart," Tony says, his eyes full of promises. "What do you want?"

From the moment Bucky allowed him to think about this, and even more since they decided to bring Tony into their relationship, Steve _has_ fantasized about how they might get together. Considered all the things they could do, in so many permutations of whom doing what to whom. He does have a very vivid imagination, after all, and with two gorgeous men like Bucky and Tony, it was frankly not a hardship to make up scenarios. Now that has the opportunity to make one a reality, it's like having too many choices and not being able to choose. Anyway, why would he be the one to decide? He's the less experienced of them after all.

"Honestly? Anything is good." He's just glad to have them both here, and he's going to be more than satisfied with whatever happens. 

"What about you, Tony?" Bucky asks. "Any preferences?"

"Oh I'm easy," Tony says with a little laugh. "Fucking, getting fucked, blow jobs, I love it all. Ask and you'll get it."

Steve blushes at the crude language and feels absolutely ridiculous for it. Thankfully Bucky seems to have taken charge of the logistics.

"Then I'll tell you what I want," he says. Bucky kisses Tony again, and follows it by unbuttoning his shirt. He pauses when the RT pump in Tony's chest is revealed to him, just a bit, before he continues to undress him. "I want everyone naked, sooner rather than later."

"Bossy," Tony teases, but he's helping by unbuckling his belt.

Bucky chuckles. "Me? Nah. Only taking up the slack because you seem to have fried Steve's brain right now. He's the bossy one."

"I am not," Steve protests, rolling his eyes. Okay, sure, he's generally less passive but stripping like this? With two guys that are twice his size and with amazing bodies while he's all skin and bones? It's kind of intimidating. Hopefully next time will be easier on the nerves. 

"You so are," Bucky says.

"You're doing great, Bucko," Tony says, now undoing Bucky's pants. They seem so at ease doing this, it is smooth and sensual and beautiful to watch. "Still haven't told us what's on your mind."

With a sly grin, Bucky helps Tony push down his pants. "I think you should put your pretty mouth on Steve, while I finally get my hands on that ass."

Tony freezes for a fraction of a second and surges forward to kiss Bucky while Steve finally reaches for Tony too and urgently tugs at his pants. What Bucky said? God, he wants that, he's so hard already and he needs something to happen _now_ or he might lose his mind.

"C'mon, c'mon," Steve urges. 

"I won't lie, this is like Christmas," Tony says, chuckling as he finally undresses completely. 

"That's the spirit," Bucky says. 

Steve has walked back to their bedrolls, and he gracelessly sits down, back to the office's wall, his heart beating furiously at the way Tony is prowling to him with intent now. It's with wonderment that he sees the shameless desire on Tony's face: he wants Steve. Ardently. There is no way to even doubt it, not when it's so clear on his face and his body language.

"I'm going to make this so good for you," he promises, sending shivers down Steve's spine.

"Yeah," he replies inanely. There's not even a doubt in his mind.

"I'm sure you will," Bucky says. Tony is now on all fours between them, Bucky kneeling behind him. "Go on already, you've been riling up poor Stevie for a long time." 

"Is that so?" Tony asks, rising an eyebrow playfully.

"Yeah," Steve says again. He doesn't specify it's been years, since they met, because he fears it sounds too pathetic. "Always so gorgeous, 'course you did."

"You've always had good taste," Bucky says, making Steve roll his eyes and Tony laugh. "But, I gotta say, it's no wonder with an ass like that," he adds, groping and caressing Tony's rear. 

Tony throws him a look over his shoulder, grinning. "Glad you like it. Gonna fuck me, Big Guy?"

"If you ask nicely!" Bucky quips.

"Please ask nicely," Steve urges Tony. 

That brings Tony's attention back to him, gaze assessing. "You want that? Watch your boyfriend take me?"

"God yes," Steve says, and he cannot help but to give his cock a few pulls, hissing at how sensitive he is but it's so good, he needs this so much. "I want to see him take you apart while I fuck your mouth. Make a mess out of you until all you can do is beg for more."

Tony's eyes widen and Bucky laughs softly even though he can't have seen the reaction. "That's it Baby. See, Tony, get Steve hard and horny enough and he stops over thinking and could give a sailor a run for his money."

Steve should be embarrassed about being so crude, probably, but as Bucky says he doesn't care for the moment. Especially not when Tony does scoot over and finally touches him, curling those long fingers around his dick. The touch makes Steve's stomach flip; it feels amazing. 

"There's always a surprise with you. I like it," Tony says with a smile, getting to his elbows, ass up in the air and he makes quite the view. He looks back at Bucky again, and adds, "So this is me asking you to please fuck me. Nice enough?"

"Plenty," Bucky caresses down Tony's back to his shoulders, leaning to kiss Steve over Tony's head. 

It distracts Steve for a second, so it's a shock when hot wet heat closes over the top of his dick. Steve moans into the kiss and has to draw back to gaze down at Tony, who has started bobbing his head and sucking in earnest. The combination of visual and sensation is so intense, he's left with his breath hitching, paining to get oxygen.

"Damn," Bucky says, entranced too. "That's hot."

"He's so good," Steve says, unable to refrain from thrusting in a little, carefully. 

Tony makes a pleased hum, but also pushes back against Bucky, whom from what Steve can see has been rubbing against his crack. It prompts him to open the Vaseline and scoop some out, and when his hand disappears again Tony groans around Steve's cock. Oh, God, this is so hot, Steve is afraid it might not take long at all. Bucky has started playing with his ass with blow jobs, and he knows how good it can be. Every sign and hitch of Tony's breath as Bucky works him over shows that he loves it.

"He's taking it so well, Stevie," Bucky says. "Two fingers already, he'll be ready in no time at all."

"I sure hope so, because I'm not going to last." Incredibly enough Tony takes him deeper, still, right into his throat and Steve curses. "Fuck, so good."

Between them, Tony is moving to and fro, sucking greedily on Steve's cock before pushing back into Bucky's hand. It takes all of Steve's control not to come, and he tries to distract himself by touching Tony, caressing the wide shoulders before sliding his fingers into his hair. 

"You're incredible," he babbles. "So beautiful. I can't believe you want this, thank you."

It makes Tony suck even harder and fuck, this is too much, too good. 

"Steve, hey," Bucky says and Steve's eyes jump up, sees that he's slicking his cock. Bucky's flushed going down to his chest, breathing hard in a way that shows he's incredibly worked up too. "He's good to go, greedy for it even." Tony groans in acknowledgement and it almost unravels Steve.

"Come on, do it," Steve urges. "Take him, make him feel good."

He's got one of the best seat in the house to observe as Bucky slowly sinks in, but he wishes he could see where they are joined, how Tony's ass welcomes Bucky's hard cock. 

"Fuck, he feels great," Bucky says when he bottoms up. "So hot and tight."

"I bet," he says. "C'mon, Bucky, fuck him."

"You good Darling?" Bucky asks, caressing Tony's flank. 

Tony doesn't pull off Steve's cock to answer, but he nods, making a thumbs up. It makes them both laugh and Bucky starts moving.

The little grunting sounds that it drags out of Tony, joined with the forced movements of the thrusts that forces him down on Steve's cock, are what finally unravels Steve. From one moment to the next his arousal crests and he's pulling at Tony's hair.

"God, Tony, I'm there, I'm right there, I'm going to come," he all but chants.

Tony doesn't move away, though, if anything it makes him even more enthusiastic to go as far down as he can. Steve ends up spilling in his mouth, pleasure so bright it makes the world dim in contrast.

"Oh," he says, dazed, when Tony finally pulls off, but stays down, forehead resting against Steve's inner thigh and breathing with harsh breaths. He's making little punched out noises every time Bucky bottoms up.

"Was that good baby?" Bucky asks, voice tight, not pausing his pounding. 

"So good," Steve says, which is such an understatement. "Amazing." That's a little better.

He has to help Tony straighten up, pulling under his arms to get him up from his elbows until he's repositioned straddling Bucky's thighs, who holds him to his chest with an arm around Tony's torso. There's barely a pause, and Bucky continues to snap his hips up to fuck him like that while Tony leans back into him. The thrusts must be shallower, now, but Tony doesn't seem to mind, red in the face and his eyes half mast and dazed as if he's not quite there. It worries Steve a little that he's so silent when he expected teasing or a smart remark. Maybe what they are doing is too much, Steve can't even begin to guess how overwhelming it must be, so he cups Tony's face gently with his palm, tries to catch his gaze.

"You okay Tony?"

He nods slightly and leans into his hand at the same time. Still no talking though.

"Are you sure?" he insists.

"Yes," Tony finally croaks out.

Bucky stops moving and leans sideways, turning Tony's head to peer at his face. Tony lets himself be moved, totally pliant and trusting, or at least that's what it seems to Steve.

"Oh, he's fine," Bucky says. "Aren't you, Sweetheart? Being so good to us like this. Giving us all we want." He cards his fingers in Tony's hair who closes his eyes and moans.

It's reassuring, and it makes something in Steve's gut tighten with renewed arousal - even though he just spent himself - to see Tony being so gone, but he cannot shake the impression that something's happening and he doesn't know what.

"Are you sure?" he asks Bucky this time. 

"Yeah, he's slipped under a little, happens to some people," Bucky says, only to shush Tony when he starts to tense up. "Shush, it's fine Tony, you're doing so well. Steve's never been with someone good like you, that's all, he's not mad."

"Of course not, you're amazing," Steve says, going along and immediately Tony goes boneless again. Frankly, Steve's the one getting anxious now and Bucky senses it.

Bucky kisses Tony's neck, his cheek, and gently croons at him some more. "Tony, Baby, I know you like that place but I want you to come back to us a little, just for now okay? Can you do that? Steve needs to be sure you are okay. You've got to use your words, Sweetheart."

"Yeah," Tony says, finally reacting to Bucky. It looks like he's waking up from a trance. "I'm good. I'm great."

"Tell Steve how it is for you, when you go so sweet," Bucky prompts some more.

"It's, it's-" Tony swallows, finally meets Steve's eyes. "Floaty. Quiet, just feeling. No noise in my head anymore."

Steve thinks he gets it, a little. A man like Tony, with a mind so sharp he's always eons in front of everyone, must rarely let himself stop thinking. Clearly Tony's brain has switched back at on now, leaving that relaxed state to straightens up. He looks embarrassed, tries to pull out of Bucky's embrace. "Fuck, sorry, this never happened to me on a first time, I didn't want to spring that on you."

Shit, now Steve's gone and ruined it for him. "No no no," he says, surging forward to take Tony's face in his hands and kiss him. "I'm sorry, it's fine, it was great, I didn't know."

"We're so glad you trust us this much," Bucky adds, caressing Tony's flank. "Relax, okay? There's nothing to be ashamed of."

Steve kisses him again, deeper this time and thrills when he finds out that he can taste himself on Tony's tongue. "No, of course not, you were being so good." 

"Yeah?" Tony asks, hopeful. He's still tense, but doesn't seem about to bolt anymore. Clearly he reacts well to being praised, and Steve can do that no problem. He's saying only the truth anyway, it's not like it's a hardship or anything.

"Of course. You're giving us so much, everything we hoped for."

"Good," Tony says, before he looks sideways at Bucky. "Yes?"

Bucky grins. "Hell yes. I think you almost sucked the brains out of Steve, I was afraid he'd get an asthma attack."

Tony snort laughs while Steve rolls his eyes, exasperated. "Bucky."

"Sorry I killed the mood," Tony adds with a wince. 

"Who says you killed the mood?" Bucky says slyly, with a deliberate roll of his hips. 

Tony's eyes widen and he gasps. "Jesus. Okay, so you're still on board."

"Only gave me the pause I needed to fuck you longer, if you still want it."

With a sinuous move that will fuel Steve's daydreams for months to come, at least, Tony grinds down on Bucky's lap, and smiles widely when it's Bucky who curses and bucks up in answer.

"'Course I want it," he purrs seductively. "Gimme all you've got, Big Guy."

Oh fuck, that's hot. Steve kisses Tony again, then grabs Bucky behind the neck to plant one on him too. He's so lucky to be able to do this, with men spectacularly beautiful by themselves but even more together.

"You taste like spunk. S'hot," Bucky says when they separate, sounding pleased.

Which gives Steve a fantastic idea. Truly, it's one of the best ideas of his life.

"How about I go and get a little more?" he suggests, shifting his focus back to Tony. 

One hand still caressing Tony's hair, he drags the other down his front in a caress, enjoying the softness of his skin all the way to his cock. Tony's erection had wilted earlier, but it is rapidly hardening again as he takes it in hand, especially now that Bucky starts thrusting again.

"How close are you?" Steve asks.

"Fuck. Close," Tony says, rocking into Steve's loose grip. "But I can hold on, if you ask me to."

He senses a possibility there. When they do this again, they could ask Tony to wait until release is all that he can think about. It would make reaching his orgasm sweeter. But right now there's still a fire in the pit of Steve's gut and he wants for Tony to feel good, being conscious that _he's_ the one who killed the mood earlier.

"Can I return the favor?" Steve asks. "I want to suck you too."

Tony nods rapidly. "Yes, yes. You can do whatever you want. Please."

That's clear, enthusiastic and pleases Steve a lot. "Great. Hope you like it."

"I'm pretty sure it won't be a problem," Tony says, voice strangled as Steve starts kissing and licking his way down his body. 

He takes a short detour to mouth near the pump that blessedly keeps Tony alive, and then to suck on his nipples, eliciting a groan, before he continues traveling down, eyeing Tony's now eager cock, red with need and curving towards his belly. It's wet at the tip with precome, and Steve can't wait to taste it. Before going there, he deviates to Tony's hip, or to be exact to Bucky's fingers on said hip. To make it easier on Tony, or for Steve, instead of moving Tony up and down Bucky is holding him immobile slightly above his lap and fucking up into him. When he reaches Bucky's hand, Steve deliberately dips his tongue between the digits, then sucks the index finger into his mouth. It makes Bucky's rhythm stutter.

"Shit, stop that Stevie," he says, batting him away. "I'm trying to fuck this nice man, don't you go and distract me." 

"Please go on, then," he says. "I'll use my mouth for other things."

"Yes, please," Tony says, voice tight. His abdominal muscles are jumping under Steve's lips as he nears the prize. 

Tony's got a nice cock, a bit longer than Bucky's but not as thick. He's curious as if he'll like the same things Bucky does, and figures he can't do so bad if he keeps the blowie wet and his teeth in check. It's immensely satisfying to hear the drawn out moan Tony does when Steve takes him in and sucks. 

"Oh, fuck."

Since he started doing this, Steve's been experimenting in ways to hold and move his head in order to take more in his mouth, not quite able to work deep yet. Like Bucky, Tony seems to enjoy that he uses his hand on the rest of his shaft with spit easing the way, twisting and varying pressure with his fingers as he does.

"He's good, isn't he?" Bucky asks Tony.

"God, yes!" It's breathless and a definite stroke for Steve's ego, pun unintended but still accurate.

"See?" Bucky says. He releases Tony's hip for a second to pet Steve's hair, and goes back to keep Tony in place. "Told you, Darling. You're a natural. Can you believe he sucked dick for the first time less than two weeks ago?"

"What?"

"Yeah," Bucky say. "A real fast learner, our Stevie. All the better for us."

"Fuck. You can't be serious." 

Steve isn't embarrassed that he's new at this, not when he gets to make love with two men he's so deeply in love with. He wouldn't trade that for experience gathered here and there, with people who don't count. He doesn't care that it was Tony and Bucky's way for a long time, but it wasn't for him and it's okay. Unabashed, he pulls all the way off with a long hard suck, and looks up at Tony's face, twirling his tongue under the ridge of the head of his dick.

"Uh huh," he hums. "Thought about it, though," he adds, doing kitten licks and zig zags with his tongue on his shaft, "I'd watch you work at your desk and wonder how you'd react if I'd make a place for myself between your legs, and mouth you through your trousers."

"Jesus," Tony says faintly.

"I'd think about _you_ ," Steve then tells Bucky, sliding his unoccupied hand around to cup an ass cheek to squeeze, making him grunt and thrust harder into Tony. "About going on my knees for you one night and see if I could stop you from having to go to the club to get what you needed."

"God, Steve, if I'd known..."

It might be cruel saying those things. They aren't important now, anyway. He's got them now, and that's what is important.

"It's okay," Steve says. "Mine now."

"Yeah Baby," Bucky says. "All yours."

His rhythm is getting more erratic, visibly he's close. Tony is mostly moans and grunts, too. Not soft and relaxed like earlier, but good tense now, biting his lip and his eyes glued on Steve, as if he doesn't want to miss a second of it. He better make it good, so he goes back to sucking and bobbing his head, vying to counterpoint Bucky's thrusts. He loves that he can sense them both just on the brink of losing it; that he's contributing to making it good. Visibly Tony's enjoying his mouth, and Bucky's right there, taking what he needs, breath hitching like when he's close but so worked up he needs a little more to jump the edge. Instinctively Steve slides his hand under Tony, behind his balls until he can slide his fingers along the ring of Tony's asshole, where he's stretched around Bucky's cock. It's like he jolted the man, who cries out and tenses, flooding his mouth with come. Could be the fact that he touched Bucky's dick in the process too, or Tony's orgasm itself, but it sends Buck over the edge too. He groans deeply and stills, as deep as he can go in Tony save from the width of Steve's fingers.

"Oh God, fuck," Tony says, riding the aftershocks by thrusting lightly still. Shallow, only as far as Bucky lets him, who is both clinging and following the rocking of Tony's body as he comes down too.

Satisfied with himself, Steve strengthens up against Tony's chest, one arm around his shoulders ending with a hand on Bucky's back, and with the other he takes hold of Bucky's hair and pulls him into a kiss.

He can't help but smile into it when Bucky freezes for a second when he gets passed a hefty dose of come. He hadn't swallowed on purpose and Steve breaks the kiss to go to an unsuspecting Tony who opens right up and gets the rest of it.

"Such a dirty little minx," Bucky croons, sounding so damn proud of him when Tony makes a surprised sound at his little gift. And surges in to kiss Steve deeply for more, which is hot as hell. 

When they eventually have to separate for some air, Steve grins. "I had promised to get more."

"Yeah, okay, it's official," Tony says, slumping back against Bucky. "He's going to be the death of me."

"You and me both, Buddy."

They stay still for a moment, skin on skin and breathing together, but Tony starts to squirm slightly.

"You okay?" Bucky asks.

"Just my knees, a bit," he says. "I'm fine."

There's something in his tone, a slight edge that has Steve lean back to scan Tony's face. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed, which could be because of pain in his knees, but Steve is bothered by how he's now avoiding his eyes.

"Yeah, sure, let's lie down," Steve suggests.

Bucky helps Tony off his lap, but instead of stretching out on the bedrolls, he gets up, though his legs seem wobbly. It's Steve's turn to frown, especially when Tony starts picking up his clothes. 

"What are you doing?"

The question earns him a sardonic raise of the eyebrow. "What does it look like?"

Why is he doing this? It was good, no? Tony might be weary of what Rhodes and Pepper will say if they come out of the office together in the morning. Frankly, they've been less than discreet through this whole thing and Steve really doubts it will come as a surprise.

"Come here," he tries to coax, trying his best puppy eye and patting the space between him and Bucky, who has wiped down and fallen to his side. "Come and cuddle a little." 

Weirdly, Tony's face visibly crumples before he hides it behind his hands, breath hitching. It's like getting punched in the gut: something is obviously very wrong here.

"I can't, I'm sorry," Tony say. "I loved it, it was great, I don't regret it," he tells them, voice hoarse, and when he looks at them again, it's as if he's going to cry. "I'm glad I could give you what you wanted, but please don't ask me that. I can't, okay? I can't do that, because I barely have the will to leave now, and I won't be able to if I stay even for five minutes."

Steve gapes, completely speechless. He can't make sense of those words, of what he's saying.

"What the hell did you tell him?" Bucky asks Steve, sounding confused.

"I'm sorry," Tony says, busy dressing up as fast as he possibly can. "I know, bad form. Messy feelings. Forget it okay? I thought I could do this, but it looks like I shouldn't have. It won't be a problem, no worries. Not your fault."

What is all this about feelings when he shouldn't have?

"But I love you!" he blurts out, which makes Tony freezes. "I don't want you to go!"

He finally looks back at them with wide eyes. "What?"

"Shit," Bucky curses softly. "Tony, why did you come to us tonight?"

Tony still looks about to bolt, but he takes the time to answer the question. "Steve said he had a proposition. That you both wanted me. And I, well, I think it's no secret that I like you both so I thought why not, right?"

"Oh Jesus," Steve breathes out. He really made a mess of this, didn't he? "Tony no!"

"No?"

Steve hurries to get up and almost jumps on Tony in his hurry to take him into a hug. It breaks his heart that for even a second Tony thought that's all they wanted from him. He stays ramrod still even now, probably by self preservation. 

"I'm so sorry. That's not it at all. I didn't ask you for a one shot three-way!"

It seems to upset Tony even more. "One shot is all I can do, sorry. I can't- I just can't." 

"No no no," Steve insists, cups the side of Tony's face and holds eye contact because this is so important. It's imperative that Tony understands and sees how serious he is about this. "You're not getting it. I love you. I want you, yes, but I love you. I loved you for a long time."

Tony blinks, looking stunned, and his eyes skip to Bucky. "But-"

"And I love Bucky, too," Steve hurries to add. "I really do. I love you both."

"And I love him," Bucky says softly. "I want Steve to be happy, and I like you a lot too."

"I'm sorry you thought we were only asking for sex," Steve says. Oh fuck, what if he was up for sex, well as much as he thought he wanted that, but he doesn't want to be in a relationship with more than one person? Those worries are still very valid. "We want you, with us. Really with us. Not just for a little bit, because it would be fun. Long term. Ever after if possible."

"I know it's a lot," Bucky says. "If you need time to think about it-"

Steve's gut reaction is wanting to hold Tony tighter, afraid he'll run away and not come back. He knows he has to let him make his choice though.

"I didn't expect this," Tony says, looking at them in turn. "Really?"

"Yes." Steve says it with all the conviction in his heart.

"You bet," Bucky adds, then taps the bedroll by his side, a lot how Steve did it earlier. "Come here. Stay a bit for now. No answer to give yet, okay? No pressure."

"You're trying to sway me," Tony says with a half smile.

"Of course," Bucky answers with a wink.

Bucky said no pressure, and Steve knows it's the best way to go about it not to spook Tony away, but he really wants the chance to give Tony a taste of how good they could be together.

"Please?" he asks. "Just a bit?"

Tony huffs. "Fine." He acts being put off, but it's obvious that a big part of him wants it too. 

"Good," Steve says, taking Tony's hand and towing him towards their bed. "Only for as long as you want."

He does lie down beside Bucky, who cautiously caresses Tony's cheek and gives it a little kiss. "Thanks. Rest now."

"Well, you sure wore me out," Tony says, smirking as Steve lies down on Tony's other side and shamelessly cuddles into his chest. Unfortunately there is his shirt in the way, since Tony had managed to get mostly dressed save a few buttons and buckles, but it's fine. Steve gets to be close, arm thrown over Tony's waist where he finds Bucky's hand to squeeze and hang on to. He hums appreciatively when Bucky throws a blanket over them.

Tony's still too tense for Steve's taste, breathing controlled, but he doesn't protest being cuddled. 

"I'm glad you're here," Steve says softly. "Really. Thank you."

"T'was my pleasure," Tony answers, smile audible in his voice. "Really."

"That's so corny," Bucky says, moving around to curl against Tony, doing a mirror of Steve. 

Steve grins into Tony's chest. God. He loves them so much. He has to believe that everything is going to be alright.

**

**

Steve is fighting a battle with awareness, but it's winning. He is good and warm, in the floaty state between asleep and awake, and wants to stay that way because it's so comfortable. But something is happening that needs his attention? Maybe. He can't make out the words yet, but there's a whispered conversation close by. Going back to sleep is less and less of an option, and Steve takes stock of the fact that he's curled snugly against Bucky's back. The material of his shirt, when Steve nuzzles between his shoulder blades, is pleasantly soft. The whispers stop and Steve sighs in contentment. Good, he might fall asleep again, now. He's about to drift away when the fact that Bucky was whispering strikes him at strange; he usually doesn't talk in his sleep. Why was he talking? To whom? It's like a flip switches in Steve's brain and reality comes back in a rush: that's not Bucky, it's Tony. Oh. He's still here, though for the life of him Steve can't tell if it's been minutes or hours since he fell asleep. 

The whispering has started again, and this time Steve strains to hear. 

"I can't have been that pathetic."

"Don't worry, your brooding was stoic and dignified," Bucky teases and Steve smiles when Tony's back shakes lightly with soft laughter.

"You know, I was dealing with a really fast developing crush on you when Stevie happened," Bucky says.

Is it weird to be reassured by the fact your boyfriend wants someone else? Because Steve's dealing with that emotion right now. 

"Yeah? Well I came real close to properly proposition you several times," Tony replies.

"Why didn't you? I was waiting for it. It was driving me nuts!" Bucky says with feeling, though he's keeping his voice down.

"Why didn't _you_? I couldn't, not as your boss!"

"Are you serious? Jesus."

It's somewhat reassuring that men like Tony and Bucky, who have tons of charisma and whom normally successfully find partners, were so bad at getting together. It makes Steve feel like less of a disaster at flirting, and he finally speaks up. "Clearly the universe was looking out for me. I was miserable at the idea you'd get together."

Tony tenses up at his intervention, surprised he's awake most probably, before relaxing again. "And now you're not? Miserable at the idea?"

"Now I think it's the greatest thing ever, if I get to be part of it! I knew you'd be good together. But I also wanted you both."

"Pretty much how I felt. Feel," Tony admits.

"Again I'm sorry you thought we were only asking you for sex," Steve says, embracing Tony and hugging him hard. "We want more than that, if you think it's something you could consider."

Tony grabs his hand and pulls it to his mouth to kiss his fingers. "I did. Consider." 

He probably didn't sleep at all.

"And?" Bucky prompts.

Steve can barely breathe as he waits for the answer. He has his forehead pressed between Tony's shoulder blades, eyes screwed shut and his mind is a litany of _please-please-please-please_.

"I want it. I want to at least try."

Oh, God. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," Steve says, squeezing Tony again. It's such a relief, and it's as if his heart is swelling with joy enough to burst. 

"Good choice," Bucky says.

Steve raises on his elbow to peer over Tony's shoulder and isn't surprised they are kissing. It's sweet, almost chaste, and it makes Steve smile. 

"You are so beautiful together." Tony turns onto his back while Steve moves to be half perched on his chest, but leaning for a kiss to Bucky, then Tony. "I'm so lucky."

"I don't know. I think I'm the lucky one, here," Tony says.

"If people learn about us, it won't be good," Bucky adds. His face goes pinched and Steve hates that he has lost so much because of whom he spent time with before. 

"Agreed. We have to be discreet," Tony says. "There is always gossip, though. God knows there's been a lot about me."

"Frankly, I never heard that kind of gossip," Steve says. He wonders if his pining would have been better or worse had he known.

"Probably because you don't hang out with the type of people who spread that kind of gossip. It also helps I'm rich," Tony says, with a shrug. "But secret or not, I have to tell Pepper and Jim."

Bucky groans and hides his face against Tony's shoulder. "Oh no."

"What?" Steve asks, worried.

"They already hated me for stealing Steve from under your nose," Bucky tells Tony. "I'm pretty sure this won't help."

"Why not?" Tony says, teasing. "You're sharing now!" 

"They're protective," Steve says. Which is good, in his opinion. They are true friends. "So we only have to make you happy, and they'll be fine with it."

"Aren't you adorable," Tony says, smiling at him softly before he kisses the tip of Steve nose. "I'm happy right now. This is more than I hoped for."

"Good," Steve says. He relates with the sentiment, in fact.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry," Bucky says. "I'll get up, start breakfast."

Is it really time to get up already? Steve gets distracted by Bucky putting on his clothes, and he wonders if it's extra greedy that he hoped they could stay by themselves, in this bubble of their own making, for a little more. But reality is what it is, and even Tony needs to leave.

"Okay. I'll talk to Pepper and Rhodey sooner rather than later."

He tries to seem unbothered and relaxed at the idea, but clearly he's nervous. Steve hugs him and, before he lets go, he looks Tony in the eyes. "You won't regret this, you'll see. We're going to be fine."

Already Tony seems more confident when he nods. 

"Gimme a kiss," Bucky asks, kneeling by Tony's side. He gives long, deep lingering kisses to the both of them, and Steve smiles when it breaks.

"I can never thank you enough," he says, caressing the side of Bucky's face. He's such an extraordinary man. "I love you."

"Love you too," Bucky replies, and kisses him a last time before getting up.

Managing to end up in a relationship with Tony and Bucky is the best thing that has ever happened to Steve, by far, but it's only one part of this adventure. So even he wishes he could cuddle with Tony a bit more, he starts looking for his clothes. They still have a mission to accomplish after all. 

"C'mon," Steve says while putting on his socks, injecting all the authority he can muster in the words so he can successfully motivate himself. "Let's get this day going."

"Sir, yes Sir," Tony teases. He sits up, shoulder to shoulder with Steve now, and gently grabs his chin to bring him into a kiss. They had very little time to be tender the night before and Steve's stomach fills up pleasantly with butterflies. 

"Thank _you_ , Steve. For this chance," he says, before kissing him again.

It's possible that Steve gets distracted for several minutes after that.


	5. Chapter 5

Every single scrap of information they have on Blitzen Castle is clear on one thing: you can't get inside apart from going through the front door. The security is extremely tight, and there's no other feasible alternative. The castle itself is set at the edge of a cliff which means there are no existing back doors. Once a medieval stronghold, the castle had eventually grown to have annexes and other buildings, but they've been cleared out and the entrances placarded. For a while Tony had talked about how he hoped entering through the sewers could be an option, but Anja who works for the resistance but managed to get a job as a maid in the castle had crushed that idea immediately: everything had been revised and modified to prevent an intrusion. If there are ancient tunnels or escape ways, well the castle's builders and subsequent owners did a fantastic job of keeping it a secret. And, lastly, Schmidt has put in place lots of patrols and strict control and searches for every person of vehicle going it, since it's the heart of his science division at the moment. Frankly, it doesn't bode well. 

"Maybe a diversion," Tony is saying, poring over the plans.

"Such as?" Steve asks.

"A bomb-" is of course Tony's first answer and Bucky rolls his eyes.

"Why is it always explosions with you?"

Tony grins. "Please. Like you don't like the idea!"

"I don't like the idea of dying!" Bucky says, making a face. "Frankly I'm more of a 'stay far away and take them out one by one' kind of guy."

"I've got to agree with Bucky on that one," Rhodes says, which must be the first time since the morning Tony talked to him that something positive about either Bucky or Steve comes out of his mouth. 

As Bucky had feared, Pepper and Rhodes hadn't reacted well at the news that they were all together now. Even though he hopes the cold shoulder will end soon, Steve still thinks that it's only because they are worried it's not going to last and hurt their friend, so he doesn't resent them at all. 

"Please no kamikaze plan that are a variant of sticking explosives to an outer wall to make a hole, Tones," Rhodes adds.

"Who says we have to do anything at all?" Tony looks at them all in turn, a slightly manic gleam in his eyes. "We could convince Fury to do a raid and take advantage of the confusion to slip inside."

It could work, but there is a problem. "I thought we had no support from Fury?" Steve asks.

"Theoretically," Tony says, shrugging. "But he also wants this mission to succeed, so I'm sure he's open to discussion."

"And how will you get that message to Fury?" Rhodes asks.

"That's-"

Tony is interrupted by Pepper, entering the abandoned apartment they are now occupying in the village less than five miles from their objective.

"I've got it!" she is saying, smile wide as she brandishes two envelopes. "I have the perfect way in!"

She sure manages to catch their attention with that. 

"What is it?" Tony asks, when she doesn't immediately disclose the information.

Pepper's excited by whatever idea she has, smiles still firmly in place and cheeks a little flushed.

"It cost me a fortune, but I managed to get those," she says, giving the envelopes to Tony, who opens one and stares at its content.

"Are you serious?" he says, looking astonished.

"Very serious," Pepper replies, laughing. "I couldn't believe my luck. It's going to be the perfect way for us to go in."

"What is it?" Steve asks, barely refraining from stealing the envelopes to read for himself.

Tony looks up, blinking. "Invitations for the ball in Blitzen Castle tomorrow night. Admits one person, here Doctor John William, with a plus one."

They'd heard about the event, of course. The villagers keep whispering about it and the wildest rumor is that the Fuhrer might assist, which Steve doubts very much (though he'd love to have the occasion to sock him in the jaw, if not more). But they also learned the hard way that admittance is by strictly pre-vetted invitations, and they couldn't find a way to take advantage of the situation until now.

"And how did you get Doctor John William's invitation?" Rhodey asks.

Pepper grins. "That's the best thing. Anja tipped me off, and I managed to buy them from Paul. Both John Williams and George White were added to the list by insiders at the castle. Fake identities of two rich Americans who are Nazi and Hydra sympathizers, and want to invest in Schmidt's research. The men who were supposed to play those parts to get inside Blitzen Castle and lay groundwork for sabotage were caught last week in a different mission, and the resistance needs the money. They made a hard bargain but couldn't resist selling them to me in the end."

"It's a great opportunity, but why didn't you come to us about it?" Tony asks.

She sighs. "I would have, but I overheard them discussing how they were about to sell the invitations to some Brit. If I hadn't make an offer on the spot, they would have slipped through our fingers. I wanted three, but only got the two. It's the best chance we have."

"Good call," Tony admits. 

"We can use one for Tony and me, and the other for Bucky. I'm pretty sure I can get Steve in too," Pepper says with confidence.

"Sadly a plus one invitation like this isn't to bring your best friend," Bucky says. It certainly allows to bring your significant other, but with the hearsay about how the Nazis treat homosexuals, they certainly won't advertise that they are lovers. "That won't work."

"Oh, it will work, I have an idea, and Anja thinks it could work too," Pepper says confidence. There's a gleam in her eye that looks dangerous. "So you two," she points at Bucky and Tony, "first thing tomorrow you have to find a suit and everything. Ask Franz, he has contacts who can find clothes that fit, if possible even someone to do touch-ups. I'm counting on you, Tony. You both have to look perfect not to arise suspicion. As for Steve, I'll take care of him myself."

She says that with a little too much enthusiasm, which sets all kinds of alarm bells. Honestly, he's got a bad feeling about this. 

"And what? I sit here and do nothing?" Rhodes says, visibly unhappy.

"Sorry Jim," Pepper says. "There's no way they'll let you in for a ball, even with an invitation. Not as a guest."

"Yes, I am aware that they are racist scum. It doesn't mean that I like the idea of letting you go in with no backup!"

"Oh, no, you're _the_ backup," Tony says, taking this in stride. "You have to find a radio to reach Jarvis, then make plans to meet with him and bring over the airship, and the armor if necessary. We're going to get out hot, that's pretty much a certainty, and we'll need a ride."

If everything went as planned, Jarvis is currently hidden with the airship in Switzerland and waiting to join their forces. He couldn't fly them in, it would have been too visible, and that's why they mostly traveled by roads; the blimp will certainly be an asset when they'll want to get away.

He doesn't seem to like the plan all that much, but Rhodes agree. "Okay. Shit, I need to go now if I have to call him so he reaches our meeting point in time to prepare the ship and the armor. Tomorrow night?"

Tony nods. "Yes. Ball starts at 2000, and we'll need time play our parts, then find Dr. Erskine." He smiles, eyes mischievous. "How about we pull a Cinderella and plan to get out at precisely midnight?"

Rhodes scoffs. "Of course, why not? Try covet and we'll pick you up in the field next to the roundabout, left of the gate? But of course we'll be on the lookout for explosions."

"You know me so well, Honey Bear," Tony says, taking his friend in a hug. "Be safe, and godspeed."

"Yes. Be safe," Pepper repeats as they embrace too. 

"Yeah, you better be too!" Jim says, pointing them all in turn. "No funny business or reckless moves!"

"Promise," Tony says, and Steve wonders if he has fingers crossed behind his back. 

"I'll try to make sure of it," Steve offers. He's not sure he'll be able to stop Tony if he tries to do something stupidly brave, but he can try.

"You better," Jim says, and they shake hands, with Bucky too, before he picks his backpack and leaves.

"No, seriously, how is Steve going in?" Bucky asks Pepper after he's gone. 

Frankly, Steve is worried about it too. He's afraid that at the last minute Pepper will argue it's not possible for him to go and it won't do at all. He came all the way here to help complete this mission, not to be sidelined when it gets really dangerous and close to the goal. 

"I won't stay behind," he warns.

Pepper rolls her eyes. "We won't leave you behind. I've talked with Anja, we'll make it work." 

They probably need more staff for the ball, and Anja might have a way to have Steve slip in that way. He's small and would not be considered suspicious by the guards, easily passing for help.

"Okay." 

Pepper is scarily efficient. If she says she has a plan, he has to trust her.

***

He will never trust Pepper ever again. 

"You can't be serious," he says, voice thready. Oh God.

The room is used as storage space and contains several chest full of clothes. Women's clothes. Pepper is holding up a dress between them, squinting as she judges how he'd look in it. It's full of sequins and Steve's face must be as red as the fabric.

"Totally serious," Pepper says. She puts the dress down and rummages in another chest, coming up with way too much lace and satin. Is that- it is. "Let's start with a corset, see what we have to work with."

Steve shakes his head, walking backwards towards the door. He cannot decide what is worse: being so uncomfortable at the idea of dressing up as a woman, or the fact that he might, a bit, be curious about it. "No, no, I can't." 

Pepper rolls her eyes. "Steve, it's only clothes and makeup."

What if the guards at Blitzen Castle see through the ruse and catch him? What will they do to him? He's not naïve, what Pepper is suggesting is not 'only' dressing up for fun in a club in Greenwich Village or Harlem. And even in New York, Steve knows what those people risk, when they get out in the streets. 

"Pepper, please."

"Do you want to get in?" she asks, and she's starting to get frustrated. "Because that's all I've got. Anja is getting some makeup."

"There's no way I can pull off those evening gowns," he says, gesturing to the ones in roughly his size that Pepper put aside. It's all plunging necklines and tiny waists, made to show off women's curves which he definitely doesn't have. He doesn't even dare to consider the high heels. "I know I'm thin, but whatever you try to do, I'll look like a boy in a dress."

Pepper, who'd been going through another chest, pauses and turns to him with an evaluative gaze. "Now that's an idea," she says slowly, looking at him up and down.

Anja enters the room without knocking, carrying a big black case. She looks around eagerly and pouts when she realizes that Steve hasn't changed yet. 

"You did not find a dress?" she asks Pepper. 

"No, but Steve had an idea."

"I did not!" he protests.

Not that they are even listening to him. 

"Those are lovely, really." Pepper runs her hands appreciatively on the silky material of a dramatic black dress, then adds, "I'll probably wear this one. But would you know where to find older gowns?"

Anja furrows her brows. "What do you have in mind?" 

"He'd make a perfect flapper. Think Louise Brooks, maybe with a little hat. Yes?"

"Ohhhh, yes!" Anja exclaims and Steve is mortified.

It's rare to see women wearing that style nowadays, but he still remembers their downstairs neighbors when he was ten years old, the Daniels. Their youngest daughter was called Betty, and she laughed loudly and frequently, kept her brown hair in a short bob and her hemlines high. Steve can still picture her, leaning on her windowsill while smoking, and she always smiled when she caught him staring. That's what the gossip circle called her, a flapper, and Steve had been young but he'd understood that it was not a nice word. Not the way they said it, at least. The rumor had it that Betty dated many men at the same time and drank without caring what other people said about her. Steve felt it was unfair to talk behind her back like that, because Betty was kind and beautiful, a true free spirit, and he admired that. She'd left Brooklyn with a man that she wasn't married to, and the Daniels had moved away soon after that. As he grew up, Steve had seen actresses in movies that made him think of Betty, but they were always promiscuous and brash. Confident in a way that he could never pull off.

Snapping her fingers, Anja weaves between the chests and boxes until she reaches the back wall. "I think that we still have Miss Pichler's things. Somewhere. A little dated but beautiful."

"I really don't think-" Steve starts to say but Pepper interrupts him.

"Steve, we have to at least try, okay? If when we're done it's not convincing, we'll reassess."

"Promise?"

"Promise," she says. "I wouldn't voluntarily put you in danger. If you get caught, we're all done for."

He hadn't thought about it like that, but she is right. 

"So this is not to make me suffer," he says, making his way to the back of the room too. He might as well go through the clothes and try to influence the final choice.

Pepper huffs. "And why would you even think that?"

"Because you and Jim barely spoke to me and Bucky all week?"

She sighs. "Listen, I won't pretend to understand why you and Bucky chose to do what you did." She's purposely vague, certainly because of Anja. "And I think it's a spectacularly bad idea. But, for now, it seems to work. He's smiled more in the last few days than in years, it seems."

It's true and Steve wants to preen. Tony's been in a great mood all week, though to be honest the sex alone is so good it probably would do the trick for anyone. But there is the rest, too, how they catch each other's eyes randomly in the day and _know_ they're wanted back, loved back, or dare a light touch because it feels good to connect. 

"We want it to work long term, Pepper."

"And I think you believe that," she admits. It doesn't mean she's not worried, and he understands that.

"I do. We do." If Anja wasn't there, he'd profess his love for Tony and Bucky right here and now. "I know you only want to protect him, I get it."

"You better. Be careful, okay?"

"Of course. I promise," he says sincerely and her face softens.

"Found it!" Anja says, sounding excited. She's been moving things around and now is half buried into a big metallic chest. "Miss Pichler used to always have the most beautiful dresses."

She brings up a yellow dress that has a round collar and belt in white, simple in its cut. Possibly, if it was something like this, it wouldn't be so bad.

"Very cute," Pepper says, going over to kneels next to Anja as she starts to dig in through the clothes too. "But the color will wash out Steve completely."

Pepper pulls out something that is mostly sequins and fringe, a bold purple, and Steve winces because there is no way to be inconspicuous in _that_. Thankfully it's immediately discarded.

"Oh." Anja has slowed down and is staring at her new discovery with awe, and Pepper takes pause too. 

"Wow." 

Steve, who knows nothing about fashion, does have to admit that what he can see of the dress is spectacular. The fabric is a beautiful royal blue, and it's covered in motifs made of silver sequins. 

"Strip," Pepper says imperiously, still digging in the chest.

"What?" She can't be serious! Not right here, directly in front of them!

Anja laughs, as if this is a game and totally delightful. "Poor Darling," she tells Steve, kissing his cheek as she passes by him on her way to the door. "I'm going, no worries. Call me when it's time for his hair and face okay?"

"Yes, thank you Anja," Pepper says. When she realizes that Steve is not getting naked, she frowns but it soon turns into a teasing smile. "You're not shy now, are you? If you can look me in the eyes after what I hear every night..."

"Oh God," Steve says, covering his face. The skin is hot from his blush.

"Come on," Pepper urges, more gently. "It's just me."

"I am sorry if I am not used to take off my clothes in front of beautiful dames," Steve mumbles, finally working on taking off his shirt and pants.

"That's sweet. Did you know flappers used to strap their chests to appear as boyish as possible? It really works well for us."

"Well yeah," Steve says, looking at his almost concave chest. He still doesn't understand what both Tony and Bucky see appealing in him. 

"Still, we need to give at least the illusion of breasts, so put this on," she says, passing him an ivory bra. It's got tiny cups, which he's not even going to fill by himself. "Oh and this," she says as if it's nothing when she adds silk panties and a garter belt.

"Surely-" he starts to say, voice faint.

"You can't keep those under the dress," she says of his current skivvies. "They'll mess up the line. Plus it's going to blow your boyfriend's minds, which is payback I need right now."

She said _boyfriends_. Like it's nothing, like it is how it is, and Steve couldn't be more giddy. Except that right after this sappy thought he processes the rest of Pepper's sentence, and now all that Steve can think about is how Bucky and Tony would, indeed, probably like him dressed in lingerie. It's a good thing that he's clinging to his embarrassment because this is a really bad time to get aroused.

"Payback?" he dares to ask.

"Yes. For the noises, but mostly for making Jim and I worry," Pepper says.

She has turned around to rummage in the chest some more and Steve takes the opportunity to get out of his shorts to slip the women underwear on. It luckily fits him, although not letting much to the imagination, his cock held snugly in place. Years of conditioning about what is appropriate or not tells him he should be ashamed and disgusted that he has to do this, but it looks good and the satin feels really nice against his skin. Getting in the bra is more complicated - Jesus, the tiny hooks in the back are hard - but he manages, then adjusts the garter belt. He supposes that they'll find silk stockings somewhere to complete the ensemble. 

"Can I turn around?" Pepper asks, and that brings Steve out of his revery. 

His first instinct is to say no and to cover himself, but he tamps it down. "If you have to?"

Pepper turns around and her eyebrows go up. "Oh."

"What?" Steve says, looking down and hoping it's not ridiculous. He really wants to put his hands over his groin.

"You look very good Steve," Pepper says. She gets up and guides him to a mirror leaning against the wall. "I swear."

It's hard to be objective when he's had issues with how he looks all of his life, but what Steve sees in the reflexion is a thin but nice body, accentuated in the right way by the lingerie. Yes, Bucky and Tony will certainly appreciate it, and it makes excitement coil in his gut. 

"I don't understand how this is payback," he admits.

Pepper laughs. "Are you kidding me? By the time we're ready and meet up, it will be time to go. They'll be able to see, but not to touch." 

She looks all too proud of herself about it, and Steve has to admit she's got a very serious point. It's going to drive them mad. Him too.

"You're devious," he says with admiration. 

"Only when it's deserved," she says playfully. "Come on, let's get ready. I have to find myself something nice too."

"Fine," Steve says with a sigh, taking the dress as Pepper passes it over. "Let's do this."

**

Pepper was right: when they make it to their rendezvous point at the apartment, it's time to leave for Blitzen Castle. Tony is adjusting Bucky's tie, and it would appear like a man helping out his pal if it wasn't for Bucky's soft expression while he looks at Tony. They are both gorgeous, Bucky in a dark gray pinstriped double-breasted suit, while Tony sports a black tailcoat tuxedo with his usual easy aplomb. As Steve is about to say something, Pepper drags him out of the room, out of sight.

"Can you wait here a second?" she whispers, with big hopeful eyes. 

She wants to show him off, clearly, and Steve is ambivalent at the idea. On one hand he doesn't want to make a big fuss over this, because no matter how good the results, he's still dressing up as a woman to fool his way into a stronghold. But on the other hand... he looks damn good. He has to admit the transformation is spectacular, and he's curious to see how his men will react.

"Sure."

Pepper grins. "Thanks. I better get my compliments before they forget I exist," she says with a wink.

"Please, as if," Steve says, shaking his head. "You are gorgeous."

Pepper is downright spectacular in her black satin gown. Unlike Steve's own attire, the dress is made to accentuate Pepper's femininity, small sleeves leaving most of her shoulders bare and that lead into a sweetheart neckline. The dress' bodice is adjusted until it reaches a high waist, before the skirt falls down in large shiny folds to the ground, a lot like an inverted flower. The only decoration is a discrete small bow at the waist, in the same material, and a pearl necklace around her neck. Oh and the frankly vertiginous black high heels that will make her almost as tall as Tony, but they are hidden under the gown. The color is a little severe for Pepper, but it sure makes a good contrast to her pale skin and red hair that flow down to her shoulders. She painted her lips bright red, and Steve is absolutely certain that she'll turn a lot of heads tonight.

"Thank you Dear," she says, kissing his cheek. "You are too. I cannot wait to see their jaws unhinge."

For sure, this dressing up experience and the time they spent together, talking a little, sure helped their relationship to get back on more solid ground and Steve is extremely grateful for it. Pepper winks and leaves him there, sashaying into the room.

"Now, boys, you'll have to cut on the cow eyes to each other if we want this to work," she says.

It's a shame that Steve cannot see their expression, but there is a lot of honest admiration in Tony's voice when he replies.

"Wow. You are absolutely stunning, Miss Potts."

Months ago, when he used to wonder if Tony and Pepper had something going on with each other, Steve would have been jealous. Thankfully it's not a problem anymore.

"Well thank you Mister Stark. Or I should say Doctor William?" 

"You are gorgeous Pepper," Bucky adds. 

"Thank you James, that's very kind. Now are you lads ready for Steve?"

"What about Steve?" Bucky asks, tone slow.

All of a sudden Steve is frozen. It looked nice in the mirror, but what if they think he looks like a fool? His heart is beating double time, and he strokes down on the front of his dress nervously. God, if he's not able to walk into a room with people he knows, how can he even hope to get past guards at Blitzen Castle? He has to think of this as theater, a performance of sorts. Like those transvestite in the club where Bucky likes to go (and Tony too, now that he thinks of it). Taking a deep breath, he steels his resolve and rounds the bend, leaning on the doorframe in what he hopes passes as studied nonchalance. 

"What about me indeed," he says, pitching his voice a tad higher than usual. 

They were lucky that the dress fits nicely, a mostly straight cut that barely dips at the waist, and the hemline brushes above the knees. It doesn't have sleeves, but Pepper found silver satin gloves that reach Steve's elbows, where he's also holding onto a blue feathered boa. What really makes the whole ensemble spectacular, though, is the silver geometric patterns that are sequined all over the dark blue dress, clearly inspired by art déco. The motifs shine every time they catch the light, like the matching bandeau around his head, a beaded handbag, and the blue and silver fringe choker around his neck that helps to hide his Adam's apple. Anja took great joy in doing Steve's hair, making it simply flops over the bandeau, and mostly his face where she used dark kohl to line his eyes after curling his eyelashes and covering them with mascara (bitching all the while about how unfair it was for a man to have lashes like that). His lipstick is a dark red like Pepper's, and he has rouge on his cheeks that is probably totally unneeded as he is blushing again.

Both Tony and Bucky are staring at him, completely astonished. Tony's the one who falls back on his metaphorical feet first, doing an obvious up and down once-over that packs so much heat Steve feels a little faint. Bucky, as Pepper predicted, is gaping appreciatively.

"Goddamn. Aren't you a vision," Tony says with a leer.

Reassured and even emboldened by their reaction, Steve smirks and walks while swinging his hips a little, like Anja made him practice. He's really lucky that he could complete the outfit with simple blue Mary-Janes, the shoes being relatively comfortable and more than anything else without heels. Steve continues to advance until he's invading Bucky's space, only to put a gloved hand on his chest.

He looks up at him under his lashes. "What about you, Mister White?" he asks, as sultry as he can make it. Bucky's heart is beating fast under his hand. "Do you like it? Will I do as your plus one?"

"You're beautiful," Bucky says, grabbing Steve's hand and kissing his gloved knuckles. "It will be an honor." 

Steve grins, unable to continue the act. "Good. The girls said I looked okay-"

He trails off because Tony is suddenly pressed against his back, a hand on his hip and lips near his ear.

"Absolutely gorgeous," Tony says like a purr. Steve has to refrain a groan when he feels Tony's other hand climb up his leg under the dress and finger the little clamps holding his silk stockings mid-thighs. "Jesus, you really went all the way with this, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Steve says, breath coming short already. Especially because Bucky is nosing the other side of his neck now, and it's getting very hard to think.

"Okay that's enough," Pepper says, making their little lust bubble pop. She is physically pushing away both Bucky and Tony, and Steve wants to whine. "Don't make me get a bucket of water, we don't have time for this."

"But Pepper!" Tony says plaintively, while Bucky pouts.

"No. We're already late, so keep your hands to yourselves, all of you," she says. In fact she links her arm with Steve's, pulling him towards the exit. "Come with me, Steve. Now that won't work, let's call you Stephanie, okay? We'll sit in the front of the car."

"Fine," Steve says with a sigh. Now he has to remember to react to Stephanie on top of everything. He knows that Pepper is right and that they probably won't get another chance to get in the castle like this. "Think of the mission, guys."

"That's asking a lot of me right now," Bucky says. He grabs a gray hat that completes his ensemble and yeah, it takes a lot out of Steve to concentrate too. Both him and Tony are totally distracting.

"Well too bad!" Pepper sing songs, and Steve has to give it to her, it's very effective payback after all. 

"You are a cruel woman, Virginia Potts," Tony accuses as they make their way towards the car. 

"It's Mrs William tonight, Dear, and you better remember it and look at me at least a little," she says. "Oh, and here, put that on."

Is it crazy that Steve doesn't like at all that Pepper and Tony now have matching wedding bands? Even if it's totally fake? It probably is.

"It won't be hard, Honey," Tony quips back smoothly as he slides it on his finger, before he opens the car's door for them. 

A chauffeur had been waiting on the curve, one of Paul's youngest resistance fighter and Steve hopes he has at least a little experience driving. The road that leads to Blitzen Castle follows a ravine, and he'd like very much not to fall in it.

"I won't be shy to elbow you if you slip, Darling." 

It's through continuing banter that they travel to the castle, though it falls into rehashing the plan for the millionth time as they near their objective.

"We have to be patient and mingle with the guests before we start looking for the Doctor," Pepper reminds them. "And please, no one does anything without warning the others first?"

"Of course," Tony says, and Steve wishes it was more reassuring. 

Nerves are starting to get to him again: what if the guards see through his disguise? He could make the whole plan fail right from the start and put the others in danger. 

"I feel naked," Bucky grumbles. He dearly resents having to enter the castle unarmed, but they all agreed that it would be too risky to be caught with a gun.

Steve huffs. "Hey, at least you are not in a dress!"

"Please do not diss the dress," Tony says. "I like the dress a lot."

Rolling his eyes, Steve tries to throw the boa's end towards Tony's head, but it's too limp and flops uselessly.

"Gentlemen, we have to focus," Pepper says, exasperated.

"Yes Dear," Tony says, laughing.

They are nearing the gate now, and Steve takes a deep breath. Showtime.


	6. Chapter 6

Steve waves a waiter away because he's still so nervous that he might choke on the little quiche if he tries to eat. Bucky definitely does not have that problem, popping another one in his mouth. 

"They are pretty good," he says, brushing a stray crumb off his jacket once he seemingly swallows it whole. "Do you want me to get you anything?"

"No, thank you. I am fine," Steve says, taking a sip of his champagne flute. He should stop soon, he's getting a little light headed. 

Entering Blitzen Castle was surprisingly anticlimactic, their invitations taken at face value. They hadn't experienced more scrutiny than the other people getting in at the same time, even though Steve had been certain that his nervousness would be suspicious. Inside the castle, they'd been led to the ballroom with the other guests, and that was it. 

As planned, for the last hours they've been acting the part they've been given by the resistance. Mostly it meant that they moved together, and Tony effortlessly played the rich American trying to make friends with the Nazis. Steve had always known Tony to be a good actor when required, he'd seen him sweet talk sponsors at the office on several occasions, but frankly he's outdoing himself tonight. With Pepper on his arm, who keeps a wide smile on her face and laughs at the right places, they make quite the couple and blend right in with the other guests, many being decorated German officers. 

Steve finds it a little more difficult to schmooze since his first instinct is to want to punch several of those people right in the face. Also, he's definitely standing out, with his dated style while most women present are dressed according to the latest fashion trends. Maybe it's the fear of being found out, or the fact that he's generally invisible in a crowd, but he's acutely aware of every bit of attention he gets. Bucky and Tony keep looking at him like they are making plans to thoroughly debauch him later, but that's where the fun stops. Steve has caught other men checking him out, too, which was flattering until a couple of leering gazes made his skin crawl. Weirdly, though, it's the judgment he reads on several women's gazes that annoy him the most: either they resent the free-thinker archetype the flapper style represents, or they just can't believe someone showed up to the biggest party in months with an almost twenty years old dress. 

"Why are they still looking at me?" Steve complains, voice pitched low only for Bucky.

"Because you are gorgeous?"

Steve snorts. "You can stop it anytime. I got it, you like this."

"I like you," Bucky says, eyes sparkling. Steve can't help it, it makes him warm up inside. "And yes, this is nice. As for others looking, well either they are admiring or jealous, but either way it's not your problem."

He'd prefer if people would get over it already, so he could more easily observe the event's security; how and when the guards appear and go around the room, still doing their rounds even with the ball in full force. He gets distracted for a minute watching Tony lead Pepper on the dance floor; they really are beautiful and immensely graceful, and Steve envies how easy they make it seem. Bucky had asked him to dance too, but Steve has steadfastly refused: this is not the place to learn steps, he prefers staying on the sides and not make a fool out of himself. Bucky only shrugged, and he'd lit a cigarette while they wait for the right time to start looking for Doctor Erskine, which is the only outward sign that he's nervous. Steve has started scanning the room again when he catches sight of Johann Schmidt, walking their way.

"Ah shit," Bucky says under his breath, forcing a smile on his face.

What's the most damning is that Schmidt is clearly looking at _Steve_ , who doesn't know what to do. To buy time in order to compose a neutral face, he turns to Bucky gesturing for him to light a cigarette for him too, held by a long silver cigarette holder Pepper gave him earlier. He wishes Tony was with them, he'd run interference.

"Relax," Bucky murmurs, giving him the cigarette back. 

"Good evening," Schmidt says when he reaches them, offering Bucky a hand to shake.

"Doctor Schmidt, so pleased to meet you," Bucky says smoothly, going through the motion as if he's not just as disgusted as Steve by the Hydra pins on Schmidt's uniform and everything he represents. "George White, and my fiancé, Stephanie Rogers."

Steve's heart does a little skip, because they definitely didn't talk about the fiancé title. Also, there's quite a bit of possessiveness - and protectiveness - in the way Bucky puts his hand around Steve to rest on his hip. 

"I'm utterly charmed," Schmidt says, definitely appreciative as he brings Steve's offered hand up to kiss his knuckles. A good thing he has gloves and can't feel it on his skin, Steve thinks while he tamps down on his desire to yank his hand back. "You are a brilliant reminder of a crazy era, Miss Rogers."

" _Les années folles_ ," Steve says, hoping he's not mangling the French too badly. The roaring twenties were definitely prosperous. "You are too kind, Doctor Schmidt."

He doesn't go as far as to thank him for the compliment, instead dragging in smoke from his cigarette while being careful not to inhale. He's going for a little cold, definitely not interested, but unfortunately it seems to intrigue Schmidt even more.

In answer Bucky pulls Steve closer to his side. He doesn't like this at all, which kind of amuses Steve, who releases his mouthful of smoke in a way he hopes looks natural. It might be aimed in Schmidt's direction to be petty. 

"I am sorry to spoil this nice evening with shop talk," Bucky says. "But my friend and I were hoping we could schedule a meeting with you in the next week. If possible." They'd thought that it would be a good way to get another chance to enter Blitzen Castle, if their plans for the evening need to be aborted.

"Your friend?"

"Herr Schmidt!" Tony says right on cue, swooping in with a wide smile. He not quite subtly slots into their group by stepping right between Steve and Schmidt, pulling Pepper with him in a way that he's now two person removed. 

"Right on time, partner," Bucky says, playing on the new-rich American persona he's been using since they got here. "Doctor William and his wife Virginia."

"Pleased to meet you," Schmidt says as they shake hands. Pepper manages somehow to escape the kiss to the hand by squeezing Schmidt's fingers daintily with a bow of the head. "I hope you are enjoying the evening," Schmidt adds.

"We are indeed, it's a beautiful ball," Tony says. 

"It sure is, but I hope you'll excuse us, Herr Schmidt," Pepper says, linking her arm with Steve's, "but we need to freshen up a little."

"Nonsense," Schmidt replies. "You are both magnificent."

"Thank you for saying so," Pepper easily quips back, doing a thing with her eyelashes that Steve wouldn't be able to replicate even if he wanted, "but my husband had too much fun twirling me around, and I need to check it out for myself. Later, maybe!"

Pepper then pulls Steve with her towards the ballroom's exit, and the corridor leading to the washrooms and powder rooms for the ladies. 

"Ugh," Pepper says when they are out of earshot. 

"Tell me about it," Steve agrees.

He's happy not to be the subject of Schmidt's unwanted attention anymore, but Steve really doesn't want to go in the ladies' powder room, even with Pepper. Fortunately there must be someone watching over him because he sees an unexpected opportunity to act towards their goal to free Doctor Erskine. The corridor leading to the ladies' rooms ends by a staircase where an armed guard is stationed. They expected security like this, since the sensitive research made by Schmidt's Hydra science division is done in the lower levels. Right now the guard isn't focused on his job of being a deterrent to wannabe wanderers, but busy chatting up a young woman of the serving staff.

"Pepper, I'm going down," he whispers as they near their expected destination.

"What?" she hisses.

"He won't see me, this is perfect," Steve insists.

"You can't-"

"I definitely can. I'll be careful, do some recon. Play stupid if I get caught." He is aware that it wouldn't work so well, but they've always known the plan was risky. "Let me have a good twenty minutes head start before Tony and Bucky cause a diversion."

They are almost at the entrance of the powder room, and the guard is still not doing his job, now blocking the girl against the wall with an arm and whispering in her ear. Fortunately, she's clearly taken with him too, smiling at whatever he's saying without paying Pepper and him any mind. Steve cannot miss this opportunity.

"They'll want to come after you," Pepper says, but it shows on her face that she knows this is the right thing to do.

"You'll have to stop them. Make them hear reason."

"I think you underestimate their need to keep you safe," Pepper says. "But I'll do it. Go. And be safe."

"Thank you," Steve says.

After a last glance towards the ballroom - no one is looking his way - Steve keeps walking as normal to the staircase while Pepper hovers in the doorway to the powder room. It's probably to keep anyone for coming out and catching Steve sneaking around the guard and his lady friend, or cause a distraction if needed. Steve hurries down the stairs until he's out of sight, and stops for a minute to breathe deeply and calm his racing heart. The plan is in motion now, and he'll have to be careful. The more he'll approach the areas with sensitive research, the more the security measures should increase. For sure there will be other guards, and they should be more professional than the first.

The information they have on the layout of the castle is sketchy at best. They've moved Erskine and his research here after Fury's third attempt to free him, a couple of months back. Coming in, they therefore had nothing on the place in the Army reports. Paul, Anja, Franz and the rest of the resistance have pooled everything they've learned about the building, but it's definitely not as much as they would have liked. What is clear is that Steve has to go down, and that the more you move towards the back of the castle, the highest the security is - which screams important stuff, of course. They have theorized that Schmidt throwing a ball might mean one of two things in terms of difficulties: either they have a lot more personnel to guard the upper level because they worry infiltration could be a problem, or the resources are spread out and it's in fact the best opportunity to strike. Guard Romeo at the top of the staircase makes a compelling argument for option number two at the moment. 

Walking while skirting the walls is tempting, but if Steve gets caught dressed the way he is, it will make him look even more suspicious. He takes deep breaths and finishes going down the staircase, figuring that he might as well go as low and deep as he can. He bypasses the first basement level, but is stopped short down one more flight of stairs when he ends up at a locked door. He's tempted to go back up to the previous level, where he could claim that he got lost, but eventually decides to commit and to pick the lock. He's got the tools for it, in his little beaded purse, slipped in the same kit as the nail filer. 

Steve and Bucky learned to pick locks when they were fifteen and briefly hung out with Pat Flanagan. Pat was a nice guy but a loudmouth, and he seemed to always find trouble wherever he went. He dropped out of school to run with some shady cousins of his, and Bucky and Steve lost contact after that. The rumor had been that he'd moved to Boston, but Steve thinks it might have been a story to cover up that he went to prison. Still, in their brief acquaintance Steve had gotten pretty good at picking locks, but it's a skill he up until now only used for his own door or for people who asked his help over the years if they forgot their keys. Illegally breaking into a Hydra stronghold is totally justifiable, in Steve's opinion. The current door is old, and the keyhole pretty basic, so it doesn't take long for Steve to hear the telltale sound of the mechanism giving way. 

"Got you," Steve murmurs, putting his tools back in his purse. 

Carefully, he opens the door and peeks on the other side, only to see another empty corridor. Good. Steve closes the door behind him but doesn't lock it, hoping that Pepper will send Bucky and Tony his way in a couple of minutes. Now, what he needs is to find where they keep Doctor Erskine, and hope it's close to his research. In the file, it's clear that the objective is the serum - it would be too dangerous to let the Nazi have more Super Soldiers - though in Steve's opinion it's even more important to help the scientist escape this situation. The rooms that are lining the corridor are a mix of storage and offices, but no laboratories for the moment. 

Blitzen Castle is big, and when Steve reaches a branch he keeps to the right, hoping it's leading him in the right direction. The only way to leave a hint to Bucky and Tony is to make a small blue mark on the ground with his shoe, hoping that they'll notice. He's about to go around another bend when he hears the unmistakable sound of heavy boots on stone coming towards him. It makes his heart leap in his throat and he looks around in a panic, in need of a place to hide. This is not good, not good at all! The first door he tries is locked, as is the second. He thinks about getting out his picks again when the third handle that he tries turns and he almost falls on his face in an office. He closes the door as silently as he can, and stays right there, ear on the wooden panel as the threat comes nearer. Someone he supposes is a guard strides right past him seconds later, not even slowing down, and Steve lets out a relieved breath when the steps fade in the distance. Was it only a coincidence, a guard moving through the basement? Or are there rounds, and he's going to come back in a minute? There is no way to be sure. 

There is barely enough light for Steve to see what is in the room with him, the little there is coming though the small glass panel on the door. He didn't dare bring a flashlight, it would have been too suspicious when being searched as they got in tonight, but he does have a cigarette lighter. The little flame helps him see that there are bookshelves with chemistry manuals and a desk, kept tidy, but Steve doesn't have time to search more in depth. More of interest to him, though, is a coat hanger next to the door and the lab coat hung on it. It's a little large, but when Steve buttons it up, it does the job to hide his dress completely. He stuffs the lighter and lock picks in the coat's pockets, and takes off his gloves and the headband and tries his best to dab out his lipstick and as much eye makeup as possible. Once done, he shoves everything he won't bring with him in his purse, that he drops behind a cupboard with the blue feathered boa. Hopefully he didn't do too much of a mess of his face, and his only tools to tame his hair are his fingers. Before he goes back out in the corridor, Steve puts his ear to the wood to listen, but as far as he can hear, there is no one. High time to explore again, then. 

It's been a good ten minutes since he split from Pepper, he thinks, and he has very little to show for it. Determined, he continues in the direction he was taking earlier, figuring that the guard from earlier surely came from somewhere of interest. He's more at ease in a lab coat than a dress, but he wishes after a minute that he had a clipboard and a pen, too. Should he go back to the office? No, he doesn't have time for that. 

He passes other doors, gets to another corridor that he marks again on the floor, and starts to worry that he might not be at the right place. He considers doubling back towards the first fork and go left, but then again... one of these doors might be Doctor Erskine's room. The place is a maze, and he's about to turn around when he hears voices at last. It's good, though, because he was starting to worry this section was unoccupied. He follows the sound of the conversation in german to a guard with his back to Steve, speaking to someone in the room he's supposed to be guarding; the stars are definitely all aligning for Steve today, but he's not going to complain. 

This is a tricky situation: Steve cannot hope to pass by the guard without being seen. The man is armed, though his gun in a holster on his hip at the moment. He might be talking to someone of interest, but Steve's hope that it might be Doctor Erskine is squashed when he realizes the voice coming from the room is feminine. At least it lowers the chance that it's another guard. Steve's only choices are to either take advantage of the element of surprise, or to sit tight and wait for backup. Even though he knows that he's doing something incredibly dangerous and stupid - Bucky must never, ever know about it - Steve decides to play it all or nothing. He grabs his lighter in his left hand and walks as quickly and silently as he can to the guard until he can press it against his nape.

"If you move I blow your brains out," he warns.

That does earn him a second where the guard indeed freezes, hand reflexively rising. It's enough for Steve to grab the gun at his hip while still pretending to have another one on his neck. He can't risk a tussle, so Steve hurries to hit the guard across the head, right on his temple, as hard as he can with the butt of the gun. Thankfully it's enough, and the man crumbles to the floor, unconscious. In the room before him, the woman who was talking to the guard yips in fear, before putting her hand over her face. It's instinct to aim at her, even though she looks totally harmless and terrified.

"Be quiet. I won't hurt you," Steve says. 

It seems that Steve finally found the research labs. The woman - a girl, really, she must not even be twenty years old - is in a lab coat, and there are several work benches with what looks like strange weapons on them, reassuringly in pieces. She's still not talking, and throws a quick glance to her right, to a closed door, as if she's tempted to run towards it.

"Do not move either," Steve orders. "You cry out for help or move and I shoot you." He probably couldn't follow up on that threat, but she doesn't know that. "If you do as I say, no one will get hurt."

"Tell that to Stefan," she says at last, looking pointedly at the guard.

Steve scoffs. "Could have snapped his neck," he improvises. "But he'll only have a headache. Stefan is fine."

It makes the girl pale and nod. 

"What's on the other side of that door?" Steve asks, inclining his head towards where she looked earlier.

"Staircase," she says. 

It makes Steve's heart speed up. Shit, another level? This might be it!

"How many guards?"

She shrugs and Steve pointedly takes a step closer, aiming at her forehead. He _hates_ doing this, but he has no choice.

"Only two tonight," the girl hurries to say. "Please don't hurt me! I won't say anything."

Steve cannot be sure she's honest, but that's all the information he has. 

"Okay." 

He has no idea what he'll be able to do against two guard, but he might as well risk it. Steve's wondering if he should make the girl go down the stairs before him, or tie her up, when he hears gunshots. It's coming from where he arrived, at least he thinks so, and for a second Steve is frozen in place. What now? The girl cries out in fear again and huddles down, crawling under lab bench and Steve decides she's not an immediate threat. He can hear running now, more than one person for sure, coming his way. Shit, they will see the unconscious guard! Steve should have dragged him inside, but it's too late now. He's getting in position behind a table, ready to fire on whoever tries to enter the lab when the men speak up.

"There, look!" 

The relief Steve feels at recognizing Bucky's voice is immense. 

"I'm right here!" he calls out.

"Steve!"

It's indeed Tony and Bucky who appear in the doorway one after the other, though Bucky grabs the doorframe when he almost skids on the ground with his momentum.

"God, I hate those shoes!" he says, which makes Steve want to laugh. 

The adrenaline spike is making Steve wants to giggle like a loon, his whole body vibrating. Both Bucky and Tony seem just as relieved to find him unharmed. 

"Good job!" Tony says with a smile, pointing his gun at the guard on the floor.

"Thanks," Steve says, pretty proud of himself. 

After that, things happen very fast.

"Duck!" Bucky barks out, bringing up his gun.

It's total instinct for Steve - and Tony - to huddle down immediately. Two rapid shots leave Steve's ears ringing, and when he manages to look back he sees that Bucky gunned down two soldiers who were coming out of the door leading to the stairways. To his right, Steve hears the girl whimper, and Bucky immediately aims towards the lab bench where she's hiding.

"Easy," Steve says, getting back up. "She's unharmed."

Reluctantly Bucky stands down, but he checks out the corridor they came from right after. "It won't be long before they get here."

"Yeah. We surprised a patrol to get their guns, but one goon got away. Surely he raised the alarm by now if the gunshots didn't do the trick." Tony is back on his feet too and looking at the weird weapons on the tables. "What the hell?"

"There's another level down, through there," Steve says, pointing at the doorway with now two dead Hydra guards. "She said there were only two guards tonight."

Bucky strides to the girl's hiding spot and pulls her out by an arm. She's crying now, looking utterly terrified. Steve has to bite on his tongue not to tell Bucky to be careful. She's young, looks harmless, but she is working for Hydra so she might be a threat.

"What's down there?" Bucky asks, curt.

"More labs," she says, voice shaky. 

"What else?"

"I don't know! I can't go there, I'm new," she says, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Please don't hurt me!"

Bucky looks dubious but lets her go. "I don't trust her."

Tony doesn't seem swayed either. "No way to know but to check it out. Is there another way out of there?" he asks the girl.

"I don't know!" she repeats. "I can't go there!"

"Fine," Bucky says, pushing her down under the bench again. "If you stay put, you might live to see morning. Not a word, and no funny business!"

Steve wants to roll his eyes at the dramatics, but it looks effective as she huddles down without a peep. 

"Where's Pepper?" he asks.

"She stayed upstairs, and will try to cause a distraction over there to draw a couple of guards from our heels," Tony says. 

Steve walks to the door, skirting around the bodies and pools of blood on the ground to looks down the staircase. It's well lit, but made in a spiral and carved in stone, visibly ancient. There's no way to guess what is on the next level or to prepare for it, except from taking a deep breath and going down.

"Steve!" Tony calls out. "Wait!"

"Go with him," Bucky says. "I'll give you time. I trust you to have his back, you hear me?"

"Of course. Don't play hero, when you can't stop them anymore, hurry down too."

"Will do."

Steve wants to call out and tell Bucky to be careful, that he loves him, but it's not the time for sentiment. It's superstitious, but he's afraid that something might happen if he said his goodbyes. He waits a few moments for Tony to catch up with him, and they silently finish going down the spiral staircase together. 

There are, indeed, labs in the room that opens before them at the end. And, in another stroke of good fortune, also the very man they are here for. Doctor Erskine is using metal tongs to carefully put a glowing blue cube into a metallic case; it has to be the mysterious energy source mentioned by Loki. 

"Doctor Erskine," Tony calls out, cutting in front of Steve. He has put his gun in the back of his pants and holds his hands up when the Doctor turns to them in surprise. "My name is Tony Stark, I am American and we're here to help you."

The man looks harried as he closes the container, moving to a rack of what looks like vials with a blue liquid that he puts in his pockets. "Help me, or take my research for yourself?"

"Both," Steve says, stepping out from behind Tony, with his own gun down. This won't work if Erskine doesn't trust them, at least a little, and the only way to gain that trust is to be honest. "We want to help you escape this place and bring you to the United States like you said you wanted. But if it's true, if you have a serum to make Super Soldiers, we can't let Hydra have it."

Doctor Erskine looks at Steve for a beat and nods. "Fine."

They hear a gunshot from the floor above and immediately Steve's stomach twists with worry for Bucky. 

Tony curses. "Shit, they're here. Is there another way out apart from this staircase?"

"Yes, there and there," Erskine says, pointing to a second spiral staircase on the other side of the room, and to a door on the far wall. "But the doors are locked, here or upstair."

"I'll go with Doctor Erskine through this one," Steve says pointing the closed door. It's the less obvious escape route. "Get Bucky and lure them through the other one. You can pick the lock upstairs? Bucky can, for sure."

"I can do it." Tony hesitates, looking torn, but when there are more shots fired Steve pushes him towards the stairs. They can't let Bucky by himself and Steve's plan is all they have that has a chance to succeed.

"Go! Please!" 

Before he leaves, Tony grabs the front of Steve's lab coat and looks at him with wide eyes. Worried yes, but more than that; there are tons of feelings in there, probably as much as in Steve's own. "Be careful, okay?"

"It's going to be fine."

"Steve-" Tony is searching his face, then swallows. "I wanted to say-"

"Shush," Steve interrupts, darting in to kiss his lips. He is elated that Tony visibly want to say he loves him, he's almost sure that is it, but not now. Not when it's fueled by fear that they'll get caught and die. "You tell me later, okay? Go and get Buck, and we'll meet you outside."

"Got it. Get out, hurry to the blimp."

There are more shots fired and Bucky must be almost out of bullets now. After a last squeeze of Steve's shoulder, Tony lets go and bounds up the stairs. Steve gets his picks and goes to work on the lock of their exit door while Erskine finishes packing what he wants to bring with him. He makes fast work of opening the door, enough that the Doctor and him are on the other side already - locked again, hopefully fooling anyone sounding the door - when he hears Tony and Bucky go through the lab to their own exit.

"Up, up, up!" Tony is saying. "I'll get the door!"

"Right behind you." Bucky sounds fine, which is a relief.

Reassured that they are both alright, Steve quietly goes up his own set of stairs, following the Doctor. It's a more modern staircase, and Steve is grateful that it continues past the next level, and always behind locked closed doors. They climb right past the second basement, then the first, but when they reach the ground level there is a lot of shouting on the other side of the door. Orders to search, in German, even dogs barking which will be a problem if they are brought downstairs and put on their trail. Hopefully everyone will be out of Blitzen Castle before the search teams are too organized, but visibly it won't be through this particular door. Steve urges Erskine to climb another floor, hoping that they can go through the first level and find another exit.

Once they reach the next door, Steve puts his ear on the panel, hoping it's safe. He cannot hear anything, which is as good as it can get.

"We'll try here," Steve says. Instead of putting the handgun he stole from the guard earlier in the back of his pants, to be able to use both hands, he gives it to Erskine. "Here. Cover me."

It surprises the Doctor, but he does as said. "What is your name?"

"Steve," he mumbles, a pick in his mouth as he uses the other two. 

"Ah."

Steve doesn't understand why it seems weird until he remembers that he's got mascara and kohl around his eyes and visibly no pants under the lab coat, plus women's shoes. And he kissed Tony, Erskine could have seen that, too, and it could be a problem. When he looks around at Doctor Erskine, he doesn't seem disgusted, more like intrigued as if Steve is a hell of a puzzle. It makes him smile instead of being self conscious for some reason. 

"Long and complicated story," he says with a shrug, before going back to the lock.

"I bet. And did he say Tony Stark? As the Tony Stark of Marvel Magazine?"

"The one and only," Steve confirms, thrilled when he finally unlocks the door. 

"Oh, that's nice," Erskine says, sounding pleased, and Steve sniggers. It figures he would be a fan. 

Steve slowly opens the door, listening, before he pops his head out for a quick survey of the corridor; there is nothing to see.

"We'll try to find a new staircase this way," Steve tells the Doctor, indicating the opposite of where he thinks Bucky and Tony could end up. "Then go down and hopefully out."

"Fine. Don't you want your gun back?"

He does take it, but makes a face. "I don't like them." Save from the one Tony gave him, but it's mostly sentimental reasons, not for the gun itself. Anja promised to have it sent back to them.

"You are not a soldier, are you?"

"You think?" Steve says with a snort. He couldn't look less like one right now. "Not because I didn't try though. After the third 4F, I finally understood it was a lost cause."

Steve leads the Doctor in the direction he hopes is good, but similarly as what happened when he got to the second basement, they have to hide in a room when they hear footsteps coming their way. There is no systematic search of this level, not yet, but it won't be long until they start.

"Three times," Doctor Erskine says quietly as they wait to hear if more people are coming. "You wanted to kill Nazis that badly?"

"I don't want to kill anyone," Steve says with a shrug. "I just hate bullies. I don't care where they're from."

His answer makes Erskine nod, approving. "And here you are."

"Here I am," Steve says, smiling. "Doing what I can to help. Sorry if we're a little stuck at the moment."

Steve didn't know what to expect from a man who made Super Soldier formulas, but there's a surprisingly warm and gentle aura to Doctor Erskine. As for getting out, there are unfortunately more and more people passing in the corridor outside the room they are hiding in. They have very limited fire power, and Steve doesn't think that they can force their way through. Unless it's doable to go through the window? They might be near a tree, or a structure they can climb down. Steve opens it up to examine their options, but it's a hard drop, around twenty feet, to a cement walkway. He's pretty sure that he can't jump that without breaking a leg, and neither can Erskine who comes to have a glance, too.

"Ha. I would have preferred a moat."

To Steve's complete surprise, a gunshot rings out and Steve hisses, a bullet grazing his left shoulder. He drops down inside the room, under the windowsill, pulling the Doctor with him and bitching a blue streak. What is it with bullets to the shoulders? He didn't want a matching pair of scars, thank you very much. Worse, though, is that they've been spotted, probably someone who'd been watching for escapees, Steve should have been more careful. It's a question of time before the shooter discloses the information and guards flow to their position. He's turning to tell Doctor Erskine that they'll have to take their chance and force their way out of the corridor when he sees his astonished expression, hand on his own upper breast while blood spreads out rapidly. He got hit. The bullet that grazed Steve ended up in Doctor Erskine, near his clavicle, and it looks _bad_.

"Oh, shit!" 

With this much blood, so fast, the artery must have been hit. 

"We have to press on it!" Steve says, covering Doctor Erskine's hand with his own, hating the way the man groans in pain at the added pressure.

"Bathroom," Erskine is saying, taking short little breaths. "Now. Fast."

Is it to get towels? Steve is about to obey when Erskine grabs his forearm and doesn't let go. So he's coming, okay. It's not easy, but Steve helps him get there and sit on the floor, between a vanity and the bath. 

"The door, close the door," he demands, and Steve does so Erskine doesn't get too agitated. 

It's a bad idea, they are trapping themselves in a room with no exit but another window. Also, it's clear that the Doctor's wound is critical, blood everywhere. At this rate, he'll have bled out in minutes and there's not much Steve can do. He does grab a bath towel to press against the bullet hole, but he knows this is futile. Fuck, this is so bad and Steve hates being helpless.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"You can go. Try to save yourself," Erskine says.

"And leave you? No." 

Not until it's over or he's unconscious, at least. He won't leave a man to die all alone.

"The serum," Erskine says, taking out the vials from his pockets. 

Shit. They can't let Hydra have it back. The best would be to bring it to General Fury as planned. But still, Steve refuses to leave the Doctor by himself.

"I'll take care of it," Steve promises. "I won't let Schmidt have it."

"Good," Erskine says, eyes fluttering shut for a moment before he opens them again. "He would create abominations. The serum amplifies what is good. What is bad, too. The military-" he pauses. "They'll create a killing machine."

Unfortunately true. Steve frankly doesn't trust that his own government will have common sense when they get the power to create a super enhanced individual. 

"What should we do?" he asks. 

"Destroy it," Erskine says, looking at Steve in the eyes.

Frankly, it's the only sensible solution. Anyway, the chances of Steve being captured instead of getting out are extremely high and that would give the serum right back to Schmidt.

"Okay," Steve says. "Let's do it."

He grabs the vials and throws them hard in the toilet bowl one by one, so they shatter and mix with the water. He pulls the flush, so the solutions disappears in the pipes, and immediately feels better. The mission might be a bust as in they won't bring back the formula, but at least the bad guys won't have it either. He turns to Erskine with a smile.

"There. Done."

"You did it," the Doctor says, looking at him with pride. "You could have asked for it, on you, but you decided to destroy it instead."

"Well yeah," Steve says with a shrug. "I'm just a kid from Brooklyn. I'm no hero."

"I think you would be perfect for it," Erskine says, opening his hand. He's holding one last intact vial.

"Me?" Steve Rogers, a Super Soldier? It sounds so outlandish, he starts to shake his head. "I don't-"

"You will be taller, stronger, faster. Let me give you the chance to get out of here."

It's tempting. So much. He doesn't want to be captured and possibly tortured. When they realize Steve didn't make it, Tony and Bucky will certainly do something stupid and get hurt trying to get him back, he knows it in his bones. If he accepts and it works, Steve could escape, regroup, and come back with his friends and if possible the Army to end Schmidt once and for all.

"Okay," he says faintly, eyes on the blue liquid. "Yes," he adds, with more conviction. 

"Good," Doctor Erskine says with a smile. "Whatever happens, you must promise me one thing. That you will stay who you are. Not a perfect soldier, but a good man."

"I will," Steve promises. 

"I need you to put water in the bath. Plug the drain," Erskine says.

Steve has no idea what a bath has to do with anything, but he does as he's told. It's been a good five minutes since Erskine got shot, and any second now Hydra could bust into the room and find them. 

"You'll have to get out of those clothes and shoes," the Doctor says and Steve grimaces, complying too.

"Right."

He catches Erskine smile at the blue and silver dress once Steve gets out of the lab coat that is now more red than white. 

"Very pretty." Erskine's voice is getting fainter, he's losing vitality very fast.

"It grew on me," Steve admits. He slides out of it, shimmies out of the garter belt and silk socks, and the bra goes too. 

"That's enough water," Erskine says as he struggles to his knees by the side of the bath. 

"Hey, easy," Steve says, helping him up. "Now what?"

"Give me the case." Steve passes the metal case, and he cannot help peering in when Doctor Erskine opens it up. That cube is awfully pretty. He's surprised when it's dumped in the water.

"Hey!" he exclaims, and by reflex reaches for it. Doctor Erskine grabs his arm with a surprisingly strong grip.

"No! Never touch it with skin. Ever. We need it though. First, we have got to inject you with this."

The remaining vial, like the others, has on one side a metal liner, of which Erskine break a part of, revealing a needle. He doesn't even warn Steve and jams it hard in his thigh.

"Ow!" he cries out, surprised at the sting. It takes a second, and it's like flames are spreading from his thigh to the rest of his body. It burns, badly and all over, making Steve fall on the floor to writhe as he hurts everywhere. "Fuck!" he swears thought clenched teeth.

"I am sorry," he thinks he hears the doctor say, though he's too busy not dying at the moment to care about apologies. 

The pain is getting stronger and stronger, and gets even worse when there's a god-awful sound and the whole room is awash with a bright blue light, almost white. It overpowers the electric bulbs that in answer all go dark. Steve screws his eyes shut, hands on his temples because it seems as if he's going to be ripped apart. He might shout out in pain, he's not sure. When the blue light he could perceive even though his eyelids goes away, the pain disappear all at once, like snapping a rubber band.

Wow, that _hurt_. The following sudden absence of pain floods his body with warmth, and Steve stretches, as he finds his breath back. It's only then that, blinking in surprise, he notices his hands. And forearms. And holy shit, his biceps! Steve touches his chest and peers down at his stomach - wow, abs! He's always wanted abs! - and long legs. Very long. It worked! The realization takes seconds and reality slams back. He turns to Doctor Erskine, grinning.

"Oh my God, it worked!" he exclaims, only to trail off when he sees that the Doctor's eyes are open but unseeing, an expression of slight worry following him into death. 

Steve shuffles closer to take his pulse anyway, just in case, but there is nothing. Fuck. He expected that the Doctor wouldn't make it, not with that severe a wound, but it stings. They only spent fifteen or twenty minutes together, but Steve knows that the world just lost a good man. 

Looking in the bath, Steve notices that Doctor Erskine threw a plugged handheld hair dryer in the water alongside the cube. The electricity surge mixed with the artifact probably caused the bright blue light from earlier. Steve doesn't want to leave it there, but he knows that he shouldn't touch it either, which is a problem. Could he pick it up if he protects his hand with fabric? Speaking of fabric, Steve understands better why he had to take his clothes off: they would have ripped on his body for sure. But now that he's transformed, Steve needs something to put on, or he'll give quite a show as he does his best to get out of the castle. 

He leaves the cube in the bath for now, and stumbles back in the bedroom in search of an outfit. His center of gravity is shot, and every step needs some kind of adjustment; unfortunately he cannot waste any time getting acquainted with this new body, and he soldiers on. Steve has a moment of almost hysteria when when he opens the closet's door to tons of women's clothes in colors he's never seen before. Thankfully there is, on the side, men's wear too. Steve has trouble guessing what will fit him, but as long as he's covered, he doesn't care what he looks like. He finds dark trousers, and even though they are too large at the waist, they cling to his thighs and are a good three inches too short. He tries a dark shirt, but it's so tight it would hinder his movements; he hurries to take it off again and slips into a black sweater instead. It ends up being still very tight across his shoulders, arms and torso, but at least not in a way that threatens blood flow like the shirt. He doesn't have time to search the dresser for socks, but in a stroke of luck the knee-high leather boots he finds in the back of the closet fit good enough. 

He's slipping on a leather motorcycle jacket when the bedroom's door opens. Taken by surprise, Steve freezes as a well dressed man enters the room and closes the door again. Half hidden by the closet's door, Steve hasn't been spotted, but it's a question of seconds now. He curses inwardly when he sees that his gun is on the ground near the window earlier, which leaves it a good ten feet away. The second realization is that he knows this man.

"Loki?" 

It is, indeed, the same man from the bar in London. He swivels to face Steve, brandishing an ornate walking cane as if he's ready to yield it as a weapon. Steve raises his hands placatingly in return.

"And who are you?" Loki asks, scowling at him. "Where is Erskine?"

"I'm nobody important," Steve says. "But the Doctor is dead."

Loki eyes Steve dubiously. "I can sense it on you, but it's not on your person. What did you do with the Tesseract?"

It's the first time he hears that word, but Steve figures that he means the blue cube. Tony had said that Loki wanted it for himself, and it sounds like an all-around bad idea. 

"I did nothing," Steve says. He is trying very hard not to glance towards the bathroom while still trying to plot the best course of action to beat Loki there to take back the cube.

With a tilt of the head, Loki studies him again. "In that case Erskine did. He gave you the serum, didn't he?"

"Maybe," Steve says. 

"So that's why it activated earlier," Loki remarks. How he knows, Steve has no idea.

Loki looks unarmed, apart from his walking cane, and Steve realizes that with his new body, he's a lot bigger and would probably win if they fought. He doesn't particularly want to, but Steve is taking that cube with him, and won't let this... smarmy asshole have it. He remembers how he flirted with Tony, how he even probably slept with him, and he can't help but bristle inwardly. 

"Hydra will be here any minute," Steve says. He's in fact surprised that it was Loki who reached this room first, and that it wasn't a soldier that kicked the door opened. "You should go."

"That is my line. Escape while you still can... Schmidt will take this disruption of his precious ball badly, even more that the Doctor is dead, and will make you pay if he captures you."

Steve scoffs. "As if you are supposed to be here."

"Do what you want," Loki says. "But do not stand in my way."

He starts to walk towards the bathroom and Steve lunges, trying to beat him to it. He manages to move fast, but over balances with the momentum and Loki hits him with his cane really hard on a leg. The pain is sharp as he falls on the ground, and Loki looks down at him disdainfully. 

"I said to get out of my way!"

Steve is planning to attack again when he's stopped short at the way Loki gestures at the bathtub after striding into the bathroom. The movement is weird, but the shocking part is when the cube starts raising up in the air. 

"What?" he exclaims.

Loki is making the cube float towards its transport case, but he has time to roll his eyes at Steve.

"Leave. The Tesseract should never have left Asgard, I will take it back."

Not if Steve can stop him, he won't. He waits until the cube is in the case and Steve dives towards it - only to crash into an invisible barrier that makes him bounce back outside the bathroom. 

Now Loki looks extremely annoyed, cane raised towards Steve. "Will you stop? I will hurt you if I have to."

"What are you?" Steve asks. There is no trick that Steve can see, but making objects fly and generating force fields should not be possible.

"For you?" Loki hits the ceramics of the bathroom floor with the end of his staff and it transforms into a tall scepter with a wicked curved blade. Even more extraordinary, Loki's clothes change before Steve's very eyes, starting from his feet and going up. The nice leather shoes, suit, shirt, tie and scarf change in instants into a green, black and gold leather and metal armor, ending by the formation of a golden helmet on Loki's head that has two curving horns, like an insect. "For you, I am a God."

Okay. So that's... unexpected and unsettling. What is sure, though is that this man has crazy magical powers and even with his new body, Steve probably cannot stand a chance after all. 

"I am taking the Tesseract, and you can stay here and deal with Hydra if that is your wish."

He doesn't. He wants to get out and makes sure Tony, Bucky and Pepper are okay. "I think I'll go too." 

"Good choice," Loki says.

They hear heavy boots in the corridor and the doors next to theirs being bashed in. The building also shakes following what sounds like a spectacular explosion.

"Tony-" he breathes out, immediately worried. It has to be him.

After a gesture that makes the container and cube disappear, Loki strides towards the door leading to the corridor, raising his scepter. 

"Give Stark my regards," Loki says, not looking at Steve anymore. 

When a kick makes their door cave in and smash against the wall, revealing an armed Hydra soldier, Loki fires a blast of green light that projects him right across the hall on contact. He repeats the motion with two new soldiers, confidently strolling out. Visibly, Loki can take care of himself fine. Steve considers following him, but Loki is bound to attract a lot of fire and it might not be the best idea. His second choice is also risky, but it's all he's got: he'll use the only other exit, even though it's possible that the guy who shot at him earlier is waiting to do it again. Loki should be a distraction, not mentioning whatever Tony has cooked up in his own, so Steve uses the length of the room to set on a run and gain momentum. 

As he reaches the window, Steve puts his now leather-clad arm over his face and jumps, head first. Glass and wood splinter in shards, then it's a long drop that makes his inside twist in fear for a second. He manages to hit the ground on a shoulder and rolls to absorb the shock. It hurts, the impact almost enough to take his breath away, but it helps that he managed to leap over the cement and land on grass. Quickly back on his feet, Steve runs. 

A bullet makes a whistling sound near his ear, followed by impacts on the ground that make dirt lift way too close. Pumping arms and legs, Steve runs faster, distantly amazed at how easy it is and how fast he's moving. There is a lot of angry yelling, several woman crying out in fear too, and when another explosion shakes the ground, near the bottleneck entry to the castle, Steve instinctively goes towards it. It has to be Tony and Bucky's doing, and even though he knows that the explosion will attract more Hydra forces, he has to make sure that they are okay. 

Still sprinting as fast as he can, Steve turns around the corner of the west wing, towards the archway leading to the entry. He immediately collides into someone, sending them both on the ground. It takes a fraction of a second to realize the man is Hydra, and Steve hurries to punch him in the face, knocking him out cold. There are at least six other Hydra men twenty feet further and with their backs to him, taking cover behind a stone wall, while three more are shooting from the staircase of Blitzen Castle's main entrance, all aiming towards the gate. There is yelling where Steve recognizes "shoot them" and "above", before he hears a panicked "grenade!" and there is an explosion in front of their hiding place.

"Take that, assholes!"

Steve cannot help grinning at the taunt: that's Tony. And when a Hydra goon peeks over the wall only to fall back with a new hole in the forehead, Steve knows Bucky is there too. Taking the gun from the still unconscious guard on the ground beside him, Steve gets up again and advances carefully. He wouldn't be able to take down the five remaining men behind the wall from a distance without one or more turning around and shooting him, so he has to be close enough to bring the odds to his advantage once he starts firing. Keeping as low as possible - it wouldn't do to get a bullet in the head from his own friends - he covers the distance fast and careens into the men on one side, while he shoots at the others. He instinctively shoots to debilitate, not to kill, but it does the trick and allows him to even the odds in the fight that follows. After much satisfying punching and kicking, and possibly a couple of hits that slipped Steve's guard but did not manage to hurt him, he's the last man standing, the five Hydra men left knocked out. 

He knows he can't stay where he is, they _will_ get someone at a good angle to shoot at him or the others sooner rather than later. The most dangerous part will be to run to the other side of the gate where Tony and Bucky are hidden, but leaving the cover of the stone wall will make him vulnerable to the other guards he can hear in the castle's entrance itself. All of that is almost a moot point when Steve hears a thump by his side and sees a live grenade roll on the ground until it touches his boot. There is a fraction of a second where he stares, then he curses and hurries to throw the grenade in Blitzen Castle's lobby before it explodes in his face.

"Holy cow, don't do that!" he exclaims out loud, heart racing extra fast. It probably was Tony, Bucky must be glued to a gun or rifle right now.

"Steve?" Bucky cries out. 

"Yes! It's me!" Steve yells right back. 

"Steve!" Tony now. "Hurry, come over!"

"I'm going to hop this wall and run to you, okay?" Steve says. "Do not shoot at me!"

"I wouldn't!" Bucky sounds outraged.

Steve knows that if Bucky sees a threat coming towards his position, menacing Tony, him and presumably Pepper, he'll react on instinct. Since Bucky does not miss, getting hit would not only suck, it would probably kill him. 

"I'm all in black, bigger, gonna move fast. I'm alone. I'm going on the count, alright? Like we used to. And again: Do. Not. Shoot. Me!" 

When they were kids, if Bucky and him raced each other for whatever reason, they'd often do a standard countdown of 'On your marks, get set: one, two, three, go!'. Life having dealt Steve a shitty physique, if they'd both depart at 'go!', Steve would have had absolutely no chance (unless Bucky let him win, and Steve _hated_ that). They had compromised: Bucky waited for the 'go' signal, while Steve started to move at the count of 'two'. It didn't even them out, but at least Steve had a chance to win once in a while. 

"Got it!" Tony says, though he doesn't have the context. It's not important, as long as Bucky does. "We'll cover you!"

"Great! Towards the entryway only, please! Countdown, Buck!"

Dutifully, Bucky starts counting. "On your marks!" Cover fire starts towards Blitzen Castle's entrance, hopefully forcing anyone with a clear view of the too bare stretch of front yard that Steve has to cross inside the building. "Get set: one, two-

On cue, Steve vaults over the stone wall and runs - yet again - towards the gate. Still anxious he might get shot, he does so while shouting, "it's me! It's me! It's me!" It works, Bucky and Tony are still covering him, and he doesn't get a bullet. Once at the gate, Steve finds a way to propel himself on various surfaces to climb up - the bumper of a car, the hood of the truck parked beside it, the top of a low wall - until he can jump over the gate and roll behind it. He ends up crouched right next to Pepper, who is holding a pistol and looking at him with round eyes. 

"Steve?" That is surprise alright. Her dress is looking a little worse for wear and she lost her shoes, but both her and the guys seem uninjured. 

"Yes," he replies, and he's grinning and laughing a bit hysterically when he sees that Bucky now _has_ a gun trained on him and eyes even wider than Pepper's. "You said you wouldn't shoot me!"

"What the hell?" Bucky says, now gaping.

Tony pauses his exchange shots with Hydra to turn around and he does a double take too. "Steve?"

"Yes, yes, it's me!" Steve confirms once again. Frankly, they are hilarious.

"How?" This really seems to make Bucky trip.

"The serum?" Tony immediately guesses. 

"Yes," Steve says with a nod. "We can go."

"Where's Doctor Erskine?" Tony asks.

"Didn't make it," Steve replies. "Can we get out of here?"

It's not that he's not happy to reunite with his friends, but he'd love to be far away from this place as soon as possible. 

"We were waiting for you," Bucky says.

"Let's move it, then."

"Give me a second," Tony says. Grinning widely, he takes the pins out of three grenades and tosses them one after the other towards the castle's entrance. "That should make them cautious. Okay, let's go!"

They make their way towards the field next to the roundabout left of the guard station, like they planned with Rhodes; Steve really hopes the blimp is waiting for them, or else they'll have to find another way to disappear rapidly. Behind them there is the occasional rumbling and dull sounds, which is a bit perplexing but make Tony cackle. 

"Your doing?" Steve asks.

"What do you think?" Bucky replies. "He set those weird weapons to overcharge and blow."

There is a patch of wood that they have to go through before they reach their rendezvous point, and when they exit it's to the lovely view of the airship, gleaming under the moonlight. Steve has drawn it before, but never rode in it and he's a little giddy that he'll finally get the chance. To avoid being victim of friendly fire here too, Tony whistles sharply, one short burst followed by three long ones. Four short whistles are the answer and both Pepper and Tony hurry forward so it must be the all clear.

When they get to the cabin, it's to find Rhodes half into the armor and cursing.

"What the hell? Took you long enough!"

"We're fine," Tony replies. "Jarvis, get us out of here."

"Yes Boss."

He fires up the systems and faster than Steve thought it possible, they are airborne and flying away. Steve closes his eyes once he slumps in a chair, getting his breath back and thinking that he would _love_ one of those mini-quiches right about now, he is absolutely famished. Intrigued by the silence that has stretched, which is definitely not the norm with their little gang, he finally reopens his eyes and sees that he's the center of attention. Lots of staring, by everyone.

"What?" Steve teases, trying to reign in a smile. 

It's Tony, in the seat right next to his, who is the first to crack, throwing his arms in the air. "How? What the hell!"

Steve laughs, delighted. He finds energy in reserve to lean out of his chair and kiss Tony's cheek. Tony makes a frankly delicious sound that is all consonants and tries to grab Steve's leather jacket to keep him close. Steve evades by re-straightening, not because he doesn't want to be caught, but if he starts down this path, it will be very hard to stop and Pepper, Rhodes and Jarvis will get a show.

"Sorry I can't tell you much," Steve says. "We got stuck in a room on the second floor, and Doctor Erskine was shot. Eventually he gave me the serum injection, and there was that light with the cube."

"Are you alright?" Bucky asks, sitting on his other side.

"I'm great," Steve says honestly, grabbing Bucky's hand. Bucky pulls it in, and splays their fingers together. Steve's hand is bigger now, it's very strange for the both of them. 

"I mean... I'd heard about what the serum could do," Tony is saying. "But seeing it? I don't understand. It makes no sense!"

"You don't have the cube? Or more serum?" Rhodes asks.

Steve scowls. "I flushed the rest of the serum. And Loki took the cube."

That sure grabs everyone's attention.

"Loki?" 

"Yes. I couldn't do anything. I don't know how to explain it, but he can do things." Steve still can't wrap his head around what he saw and shakes his head. "It- it looked like magic. He had a staff, could blast people away. Changed into armor before my eyes. I have no idea..."

"Nothing we can do about it now," Pepper says, always reasonable.

"Does someone have notes, anything? General Fury won't be happy we have nothing to show for this mission," Rhodes says. 

Shit, Steve should have grabbed Doctor Erskine's bag. He forgot in his hurry to get out of that room.

"Well," Pepper says with a smirk. I wouldn't say we have nothing to show for it," she adds with frankly appreciative once-over that makes Steve blush. 

"Oh hell no," Bucky says. "He can't have Steve."

"Damn right, no way," Tony adds. He takes off his fake wedding band and throws it at Pepper. "No ogling Steve, I want a divorce!"

It makes everyone laugh, and Steve relaxes in his seat, letting warmth wash over him. What a thrill tonight has been, and he knows that his life has changed forever. He takes a deep breath, and squeezes Bucky's hand, before reaching to catch Tony's on the other side, smiling when they almost simultaneously links their fingers together with his. This is good, perfect even. He can't wait to see what other surprises life will have in store for him now, but as long as he can keep this, he knows everything will be alright.

 

The End.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the main story...
> 
> But if you know me even just a tad, you suspected I would not leave it exactly like this, right?
> 
> So as a bonus, and if you feel like it of course, there's a porny epilogue coming right up!


	7. porny epilogue...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist the temptation of having Steve test drive his new body with his boyfriends. Pretty much 3k of PWP follows ;)

"Finally," Bucky says, voicing what they've all been thinking for hours now. He closes and locks the door behind them while Tony has a sly glint in his eyes as he advances on Steve. 

Since they got together, Steve's been prowled towards as if he's prey more than once. But this time, instead of backing up towards the bed. Steve stands his ground. It makes Tony grin as he reaches him, splays his hands on Steve's chest, pushes a bit but finds out he cannot move him. Something hot curls in Steve's belly when Tony has to look _up_ to keep the eye contact.

"Hey there," Tony purrs. 

"Hi," he replies, leaning in to kiss him. "Did you guys want anything?" 

They have given him heated looks from the moment they were safe, and it's only because they've not managed to be by themselves before that nothing happened yet.

"Let us see you, Baby," Bucky is saying, now at Steve's back. He's pushing Steve's sweater up, soon helped by Tony; he obediently rises his arms, so it's easier to get it off him. 

"Jesus," Tony says as he eats up Steve's revealed new muscles with his eyes.

"Look at you," Bucky adds, caressing the width of Steve's shoulders before trailing his fingers down his back. It feels amazing and makes goosebumps erupt all over. It seem that touch has been enhanced with the serum, like every other sense.

"I'm glad you like the results," Steve says. It's a heady sensation, being admired like this.

"You know we found you beautiful before," Tony says, between kisses to his clavicle, his chest, detouring for a nipple and Steve experiences a jolt of arousal that goes right to his cock. "There's only more of you to enjoy now."

"Couldn't have said it better," Bucky agrees, kissing down Steve's spine. He's circling Steve's waist, undoing the button on his pants. 

Steve is so aroused, he's worried that he's going to come as soon as someone touches his dick, which isn't helped by Tony going to his knees to work on his boots. 

"I'm not going to last, guys," he warns, trying to keep in the desperate sounds he wants to make. 

"That's alright Doll," Bucky says, pushing down Steve's pants. "Let us take care of you."

"Fuck, that's hot," Tony says, and Steve looks down see him entranced by how his hard cock, larger than it was for sure, is barely held by the satin panties Steve had kept on before the transformation. 

"Looking good enough to eat?" Bucky asks, chuckling.

"Yeah," Tony says, caressing up and down Steve's thigh before he absentmindedly finishes to take off Steve's pants. He's still staring, and bites his lips before looking up at Steve. "Want to do this standing up, Sweetheart? There's a bed right behind you."

Sensible remark; Steve has a doubt that with the dialed-up sensations, he might not be able to stay on his feet when he comes. 

"Good point," Steve says. 

Making an executive decision, he pivots, grabs Bucky by the hips, and lifts him up easily (so easily, this new body is great!). Bucky makes a hilarious surprised sound that has Steve laugh, but it turns into a moan when Bucky promptly winds his legs around his waist and arms around his neck to better grind against Steve's abs.

"Kiss me, you punk," Bucky growls. 

Steve happily obliges, the kiss deep and wet as he strides towards the bed. Tony's hands are on his waist, then grabbing his ass.

"Jesus, so fucking hot. Look at those arms, it's insane. Picking him up, that's nothing for you, isn't it?"

"Yeah, really easy," Steve says once he breaks the kiss, climbing on the bed with his knees and putting Bucky down. He notes with satisfaction that Bucky's out of breath and his pupils are blown wide. "You guys have too many clothes," he adds, starting to work on the button of Bucky's shirt.

"Speaking of," Tony says, making fast work of getting out of his own. "Let's have a minute of silence for that dress, sacrificed to the cause."

Steve is surprised into a laugh and grins back at him. "You liked that, huh? Me being all dolled up?"

"I loved it. Fuck, Steve, you still have make up, you should see what it does for your eyes, it's lethal."

"Yeah?"

"So beautiful," Tony says, cupping his face and caressing carefully below Steve's eyes before he leans in for a kiss.

They never plan out what they'll do when having sex, but it always turns out great, as if they can read each other's mind. Tony having clearly indicated he wanted to suck Steve off - which, for the record, he's always in favor of because he's phenomenal at it - Steve lies down on the mattress while manhandling Bucky up so he straddles his chest. 

"Come on, Bucky, I want you to fuck my mouth."

"It will be my pleasure," Bucky says, voice rough. "Fuck, Stevie, you're so goddamn hot!" 

Steve would reply but what comes out of his mouth is a shout as wet heat close around his cock. Before he can think about it he tangles a hand in Tony's hair and he must pull, which makes Tony groan deeply, a delicious sensation around his dick. He's on the brink already, pleasure building so fast he's getting dizzy with it. Afraid to pull poor Tony's hair out, he switches to hold Bucky's hips, hoping the distraction of blowing him will let him last just a little longer.

"There we go," Bucky says, slowly feeding Steve his cock. "That's it, Love."

He wants more, wants Bucky to use his mouth, so he grabs his ass and pulls. He's not used to his new strength, and it makes Bucky topple forward, though he does manage to stop himself from falling by putting a hand on the headboard. It drives Bucky's dick deep in his mouth, into his throat, which leads Steve to do a discovery about his new body. 

"Shit, Baby, you okay?" Bucky says with worried eyes, pulling out.

Steve laughs, delighted. "I'm great. And it seems I don't have a gag reflex anymore!"

Funnily it's Tony who groans at the news, and sucks so hard that Steve's eyes roll back. 

"Oh shit, that's so good Tony, God!"

"Can't help yourself, huh?" Bucky teases, twisting a bit to ruffle Tony's hair.

"Come back here," Steve orders, tugging at Bucky's hip gently. "I'm about to go off and I'd like to do it while I'm sucking you."

"Whatever you want Stevie," Bucky says. 

He gets back in position and starts fucking Steve's mouth at last, shallowly at first but deeper when he sees that Steve can take it and loves it to boot. Having sex was intense for Steve from the get go, always so good, but with both Bucky and Tony it's enough to sent him flying. This new body is lighting up in the most exquisite way and not even two minutes in he's keening, tapping the mattress to warn Tony that he's going to come. Unsurprisingly Tony doesn't let go, and seconds later Steve's coming and coming and coming some more, more intense and longer that he's ever experienced. It's an overwhelming cascade of pleasure and sensation, so good that it makes him space out for a second or two. His jaw has gone slack, and fantastically Bucky hasn't stopped pushing in and out, using him for his pleasure in a way that he never dared when Steve was smaller. He certainly isn't complaining about it, diligently starting to suck again as soon as he's got his wit back.

"Fucking hell, Bucky, he came so much I couldn't swallow it all," Tony says once he pulls off, voice rough from how deep he took Steve in. 

"Really? Fuck, Tones, you're wrecked, c'mere."

Steve reopens his eyes - hadn't realized he'd closed them - and he's greeted by the fantastic view of Bucky still moving over him while Tony's hands are caressing his abs and chest. Bucky grabs the back of Tony's head to bring him close enough to lick what can only be Steve's spunk that is all over Tony's cheek and jaw. Steve is hit with a renewed wave of lust and bucks up, keening around Bucky's cock. God he wants them, so much. It could be the sound, or the kiss, or maybe the way Tony slips a hand down to cup Bucky's balls, but it sends Bucky over the edge too, bitter come flooding Steve's mouth. 

"That's it," he hears Tony say. "Got you James, easy now."

He's guiding Bucky until he lies down next to Steve, always so careful with him. Steve loves Tony for it, that tenderness he shows them both, always attuned to their needs. Sometimes Steve wonders if Tony's trying to be perfect all the time because he wants to prove he belongs with them, that they made a good decision when inviting him in. For sure he gives without necessarily demanding anything back, like right now when he's the only one who didn't come and he stretches out on Steve's other side.

"How are you doing gorgeous?" he asks, scanning Steve's face and pushing sweat-sticky hair off his forehead.

"I'm great, thank you," Steve says, leaning in for a kiss. "I'd even say that I'm very, very good," he adds with a smile, capturing Tony's hand to bring it to his cock, breath catching when Tony curls his fingers immediately around his length. "God that feels good. I've always loved your hands."

Tony's eyebrows climb up as he raises on an elbow to survey the state of things, and skims the loose circle of his fingers up and down Steve's dick. "Hard already?"

"Pretty sure it's not gone down," Steve says, pushing his hips up to seek more contact. 

"Nice party trick," Bucky says, kissing Steve's shoulder and letting his fingers trail down the new bumps and ridges of muscles on Steve's torso and abdomen until his hand joins Tony's. It makes Steve arch up, moaning loudly.

"Look at him, Tony. All reared up and ready to go already! Don't you want on that ride, Sweetheart?"

"Oh hell yeah," Tony says with enthusiasm. He rolls off the bed and Steve's about to protest when he realizes it's to get some slick. That's acceptable.

Bucky distracts Steve with deep and languid kisses for a while, jerking him with a light touch that is mostly a tease. 

"You are so gorgeous together," Tony is saying. "I'd be happy just being allowed to watch, that's how great you look."

A smile from Bucky after he gives Steve another dirty kiss. "Lucky for you, you can do more than that. You ready?"

"More than," Tony says, straddling Steve's hips who sure doesn't feel as if he came only five minutes ago. Steve is desperate for it, need clawing at his insides. God, this is going to be so good.

"Nuh huh, hold on Babe," Bucky protests, scrambling on all fours and dipping two fingers in the Vaseline jar as Tony liberally coats Steve's erection with the same substance.

Buck grabs Tony around the waist and Steve loses sight of his slicked hand. Nonetheless it's clear enough that he's checking if Tony is as ready as he says.

"I'm fine," Tony protests on principle, though he seems to thoroughly enjoy Bucky's touch. "What are you, the ass inspector?"

It makes Bucky laugh. "You bet I am. I know you, Pet. Always impatient, but Stevie's quite bigger now, wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

"Please Tony," Steve says. It's worrying enough that he's still adjusting to this body, he'd feel really bad if he hurt either of them by accident, or in this case because Tony's too eager to get fucked. "Let Bucky make sure okay?"

"I'd be good, but fine, go to town," Tony relents. He has planted his hands on Steve's pecs, fingers kneading like a cat though he might not even be aware of it, and he's rocking steadily into Bucky's movements. Getting Tony unequivocally ready is a question of a few minutes, Bucky praising him all along about how good he's being.

Steve adds his own commentary during the prep, on how he can't wait to get into Tony, feel him around his cock, and watches avidly the effect of their words. Tony's already dropping into that place he goes to when he relinquishes control, body and features going lax and pliant. It still makes Steve a little nervous, but only because he thinks they owe Tony to be extra careful when it happens, however willing he gets for everything in that state. 

"You're all nice and stretched now," Bucky croons. "Do you still want Steve's cock?"

"Yes!"

"Okay then, hop on. You go slow Steve, okay?"

"I will," Steve promises. "Won't move until you say so."

True to his word, he stays immobile during the slow slide of Tony taking him in, guided by Bucky and aided by gravity. Tony is soft and oh so hot around him, and even though he doesn't clench up at the intrusion, not when he's so sweet already, it's a tight fit. All of Steve's instincts are telling him to buck up and fuck, but he reins them in.

"That's so good Tony," Steve says when Tony's completely seated, and he reaches up to caress his torso, fingers skimming around the casing of the RT pump. "So hot and tight inside."

"I bet." Bucky is watching Tony closely, but must be reassured because he lets him go completely to bend down to rest on his forearms and kiss Steve instead. "Move now, easy."

"It's so much, Buck," Steve says as he guides Tony up and down on his dick, the tension coiling in his gut and balls already. 

"Different?"

"Yeah. More intense, so so good."

"That's great Baby," Bucky says, pinching his nipples and Steve forgets himself, slams up and Tony moans loudly. "Shhh, not kidding about that, huh?"

"I need- God!" Steve lets go of Tony's hips because he is afraid that he's going to lose control and grab him too hard, move him too bluntly again. He fists his hands in the sheet instead and takes big breaths, screwing his eyes shut and focusing on how hot Tony is around him; how it should be enough to tip him over the edge again. He's close, he knows it, but it's as if he reached a plateau and if only-

"Need to go harder?" Bucky guesses.

Steve keens thinking of it. He wants to, but he can't and shakes his head. "Imma hurt Tony."

"No you won't," Bucky says, confident. "I'm going to make sure, okay? I've got you. Got you both."

"Thank you, yes, please." 

Bucky kisses him one last time and gets up, goes to straddle Steve's thighs as he presses against Tony's back, taking him into his arms and kissing Tony's cheek, his ear.

"How you doing Tones?"

"Great," Tony says. "He's so big, so full."

He's gotten better at using his words when he gets overwhelmed, mainly because Tony knows that's what Bucky and especially Steve want; he'd give them anything when he's like this.

"Fantastic. What if Stevie went harder a bit, how does that sound?"

"Please, yes, please," Tony begs.

That's clearly permission and Steve cannot resist, fucking up into Tony with less restraint, thrilled when it only makes him moan louder.

"That's it. He loves it, Steve, go on. Take what you need, I've got you."

What Bucky's got is Tony's dick in his hand, too, jerking him off while Steve risks moving that little harder, quite a bit faster. Having Bucky's weight on his thighs is reassuring, hinders his movements a little though he's convinced that there's not much Bucky could do if he went all in. This is good though, perfect, and when Tony shouts and comes Steve follows suit, crying out himself. He chases the sensation all through the delicious aftershocks, before he finally sinks in the mattress, completely spent. 

Through half-lidded eyes he watches how Bucky pets and praises Tony, helping him to dismount and lie down. He knows now that it's important to make sure that Tony feels safe until he comes back on top, and the best way to achieve that is to bracket him as they cool down. Bucky does a quick clean up with a discarded shirt, then pulls a sheet over them. Usually happy to lay between them, Tony twists until he's almost climbing onto Steve, sighing happily when his head ends up pillowed on his chest. 

It makes Bucky chuckle. "Comfy?"

"S'hot," Tony slurs, patting Steve. "Good."

"Definitely hot," Bucky says teasingly, with a ridiculous eyebrow waggle. He laughs when Steve rolls his eyes.

Slightly more coherent, Tony murmurs, "meant temperature hot, but yeah, hot hot too."

"Shhh," Steve says, carding his fingers in Tony's hair. His men are ridiculous, but he can't help it, his heart is so full of joy that he cannot stop grinning. 

"That was awesome," Tony says. "Done?"

"It was, and yeah, I'm good," Steve says. He's going soft this time, though he suspects that it wouldn't take much to have him going again.

"We're lucky it worked, the serum," Bucky says. By his tone, he clearly doesn't mean that he's happy that Steve is now built and strong, or that his dick seems to be enhanced too, but that the whole thing could have been a disaster.

"It was that or getting captured by Hydra. I took a chance."

"We'd have gotten you," Tony says, before yawning widely. 

"I know. Thanks for waiting for me, outside."

"Of course. You're stuck with me, pal!" Bucky says.

"Us," Tony slurs, and that makes Steve and Bucky exchange a smile over the top of his head. It's rare that Tony includes himself like that, and they hope he's confident enough to do it more and more. 

"Us," Bucky agrees. 

'Us' sounds fantastic.

Steve's drifting off to sleep, utterly content, when Tony mumbles again.

"Izit later enough now?" he asks, which doesn't make much sense.

"Later than what?"

"Said to tell you later," Tony explains. "That I love you."

It makes Steve even warmer, filled to bursting with happiness. "Yeah Tony," he says, kissing the top of his head. "It's later enough. I love you back. You too, Bucky."

"Same," Bucky says, arm wrapping around Tony until he's touching Steve, too. "Love you guys even more when it's silent when I try to sleep, though."

"Nag nag nag," Tony says. "Shhh then."

They do fall quiet after that. 

(For a couple of hours, at least.)

 

 

 

And that's the End of the epilogue! I hope you enjoyed the story!

**Author's Note:**

> This fic came to be after the lovely @maniibear decided that a good use of her money would be to bid on me to receive a fic of her choosing through the Stony Trumps Hate auction last spring. 
> 
> We started talking and got real enthusiastic very fast. Approximately 15 minutes later we had signed up for Marvel Bang in tandem, story + art, with a goal of a Iron Man Noir fic that would feature Steve/Bucky/Tony. The rest is history :) 
> 
> It was one of the best collaboration I've ever had the pleasure to experience in fandom: plotting, outlining, research, cheerleading, art, proofreading, FINDING THE TITLE… Mani was with me every step of the way and I can't thank her enough. And yes, you can thank her too, for suggesting throwing Bucky in the mix and that we should have Steve dress as a [flapper](http://www.vintage-now-clothing.com/img/flapper-dresses/garbo-blue-x2-595h.jpg), among other things! 
> 
> (btw said title? Started with the Lao Tzu quote: "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
> 
> Which lead Mani to find that "vi et animo" = "with heart and soul" = alternatively "strength and courage", is the motto of the Ascham School and on the coat of arms of the McCulloch Clan. From there you could _try_ to pry "with heart and soul" away from us, but it would be a mistake.)
> 
> Thank you for being this awesome, my dear, and I really feel you worked real hard on something you paid for... (but hey, I'm not complaining!)
> 
> I urge you lovely reader to please go visit/praise/like/reblog @maniibear's [Master Art Tumblr Post!](http://maniibear.tumblr.com/post/167575581762/art-for-with-heart-and-soul-by-gottalovev-who-is)
> 
> Also, a big thank you to my favorite Anonymous Jackalope, Jaydblu, for giving this fic an once over even if I asked at the very last minute.
> 
> I can be found on [Tumblr](http://gottalovev.tumblr.com/), asks and more are always welcome!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this story, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> <3


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